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Houston, TX, USA

September 21, 2021

8

The Doctor

After one views the oasis of women in Dallas and Austin, the traveling PB would expect to find women of similar quality in Houston. There may be an equal number of good-looking girls in all of these cities but a large proportion of the ones in Houston work in titty bars. From a statistical standpoint, Houston tops Atlanta and Phoenix by distinguishing itself as having the greatest number of titty bars per capita of any major city in the United States. These aren't tiny, seedy joints either. These titty bars are enormous with multiple floors, wide-open spaces and huge VIP rooms. I mention this, because it's oftentimes more fruitful to spend your time hitting on the dancers in their native environment, rather than trying to scam on them when they are out with their friends on the weekend and don't want to deal with men who aren't feeding them $20 bills. For the best titty bars head to Treasures (code name Big T)and the Mens Club (code name TMC) in the Galleria area or St. James (code name Church) on the north side of town by Bush Intercontinental Airport. The girls are very friendly and give extremely interactive dances. These clubs are where you'll have the best chance of hooking up. Get to know the managers here if you can, to get hooked up with free drinks, V.I.P and the dancers who worship the ground they walk on. Outside of the titty bars, most Houstonian women congregate on the multitude of bars and clubs in mid-town, downtown and the Heights—Eight, Taps, Rayne, Manor, Benjy’s, Rare, Mo’s, Rich’s, Nox, Diem, Red Door Kung Fu Cafe and Blue Label and Hugh's Hanger. Downtown Houston was the bomb years ago, but now-- not so much. There are a few places to hang though-- Flying Saucer is always packed with PB's macking on the cute waitresses in kilts. Venue is a cool dance club-- only open on the weekends-- waitresses are pretty, as is the occasional patron. After hours it's Club 1815 that brings in all the Y.  After after hours, head to Mai's Restaurant to chow down on some awesome Vietnamese food and sober up with on all of the other late night party people who are there doing the same thing.  Food makes drunk women horny, so this may be your last chance on any given weekend night.  On Sunday-fun day head to Hudson Lounge and Brixx (where they have outdoor areas to hang out) during the day and Sanctuary at night. During the day, check out the Galleria, the big shopping district in town. There is one to match this one in Dallas further North. Alternatively, check out Rice Village by the University of the same name, on a Saturday afternoon. The University of Houston, Rice University and Houston Community College supplies the city with decent YP, so check them out if you have the chance. And if you happen to be in Houston in the spring, check out Buzz Fest in the Woodlands, where all the Y goes to listen to music at the Woodlands Pavilion after smoking weed and drinking in the parking lot. Are you into healthy, tree hugging granola chicks? Then head to the Whole Foods on Dallas and Waugh in midtown. There's a bar there and usually some pretty, professional, health conscious girls shopping right after work or the gym. If you are into the kicker bar scene (and what self-respecting PB doesn’t love hot Southern girls in Daisy Dukes?), head to Wild West on Richmond or Big Texas on the south side of town.  For whatever reason, Wednesdays are the nights for kicker bars in Texas.  Get out there and dance, my friends.  The ladies love it. Down south of Houston you will find the small city of Webster, Texas. South of Houston, you will find the best prospects for Y. Hooters and Twin Peaks (both at Nasa Road 1 and I 45 South) have the prettiest waitresses in Houston on any given night. But be careful. It is cliquey down here. If you didn't grow up here and know everyone in the town since high school, you have to be aggressive or have a referral from someone they know and feel safe with. Otherwise, if you want to be successful with the ladies down here, you will have to put in the time. In the Woodlands just north of Houston, the places to hang out from Thursday to Saturday night is the Market Street area. Places like Bar Louie's, Bakers Street, etc. 

 

*LIT💃🏻*

BARS/PUBS

  • ◦ Einstein’s Pub & Arcade
  • ◦ ReBar
  • ◦ Rabbit’s got the gun
  • ◦ Extra Credit Rooftop Bar
  • ◦ Sunset Rooftop
  • ◦ Clutch bar
  • ◦ Howl at the Moon
  • ✓ Lincoln
  • ✓ Henke & Pilot
  • ✓ Unicorn Disco
  • ✓ Electric Feel Good
  • ✓ Little Woodrow’s 🎮
  • ◦ Cidercade 🎮
  • ✓ For Amusement Only 🎮
  • ◦ Kung Fu Saloon 🎮
  • ◦ Tea‘ze Daiquiri Lounge 🎮
  • ◦ Loft 18 🎮
  • ◦ City Orchard Cidery
  • ◦ Pete’s Dueling Piano Bar
  • ✓ Bovine & Barley
  • ✓ El Big Bad
  • ◦ Concrete Cowboy
  • ✓ Baker St
  • ✓ Bar Louie
  • ◦ Ghost Lounge

& dancing

  • ✓ Therapy
  • ◦ Fabian’s
  • ◦ Rise Rooftop
  • ◦ Pour Behavior

FANCIER BARS

  • ◦ Trez Art & Wine Bar
  • ◦ Chapman & Kirby
  • ◦ Upstairs
  • ◦ High & Dry
  • ◦ Sugar Room
  • ◦ Permission Whiskey
  • ◦ Lilly & Bloom
  • ◦ Postino Wine Cafe

BARS + 📸

  • ◦ Secret Garden
  • ✓ Buffalo Bayou Brewing
  • ◦ Wonder Bar
  • ◦ HER lounge
  • ◦ Z on 23 Rooftop
  • ◦ 77 Degrees Rooftop
  • ◦ Sunset Rooftop
  • ◦ Lei Low!
  • ◦ Kanaloa [Tiki Bar]
  • ◦ The toasted coconut
  • ◦ Present Company
  • ✓ Electric Feel Good
  • ◦ Handlebar
  • ◦ Dahlia

LIT/CHILL

  • ✓ Prospect Park
  • ✓ Seaside Lounge
  • ✓ Diablo Loco
  • ✓ Ojos locos
  • ✓ Bombshells
  • ✓ Twin Peaks
  • ✓ Hooters
  • ✓ Pluckers
  • ✓ The Address
  • ◦ Amahle
  • ◦ Parma
  • ◦ Pub Fiction
  • ◦ Bottled Blonde
  • ◦ Bar 2200
  • ◦ Atomic Bottle
  • ◦ Chula’s
  • ◦ A’Dor
  • ◦ Kamp
  • ◦ The local seat
  • ◦ Uptown Lounge
  • ◦ O2 lounge

CHILL

  • ◦ Wicklow Heights
  • ◦ Post Oak Ice House
  • ◦ Kirby Ice House Memorial
  • ◦ Holman Draft Hall!
  • ◦ Mcintyre’s
  • ◦ Eighteen 36
  • ◦ East End Backyard
  • ◦ Spring Street Bar and Wine Garden !
  • ◦ Lost & Found
  • ◦ City Orchard Brewery
  • ◦ Preslee’s
  • ◦ La Grange
  • ◦ Bar Boheme
  • ◦ Hop Heads
  • ◦ Moon Tower Inn
  • ◦ Cedar Creek
  • ◦ Coltivare
  • ◦ Piggy’s
  • ◦ Drift
  • ◦ The Rustic
  • ◦ The Pub Fountains
  • ✓ Pitch 25
  • ✓ Heights Bier Garten
  • ✓ Social beer garden
  • ✓ FM kitchen and bar
  • ✓ Truckyard
  • ✓ Axelrad
  • ✓ Avant-garden

DRINKS

  • ✓ Eskimo Hut
  • ✓ Daiquiris To Go
  • ✓ The Candy Shack 🎮
  • ◦ Tropical Daiquiris 🎮
  • ◦ Prime Daiquiri
  • ✓ Bourbon St. Daiquiris
  • ✓ Torchy’s
  • ✓ BJ’s
  • ◦ Airport Daiquiris [Exotic Pop]
  • ◦ OST Liquor Store [TikTok]
  • ◦ 12805 Cullen Blvd [Black owned]

*🏳️‍🌈*

  • ✓ Blur
  • ◦ Crystal
  • ✓ JR’s
  • ◦ Buddy’s
  • ✓ Rich’s
  • ◦ Eagle
  • ◦ Pearl’s

STRIP

  • ◦ Pole Katz
  • ◦ Treasures
  • ◦ Chica’s
  • ◦ Ritz
  • ◦ Gold Diggers
  • ◦ Bucks Wild
  • ◦ Pleasure’s
  • ◦ Center Folds
  • ◦ Halo
  • ◦ Onyx
  • ◦ Queen of hearts
  • ◦ Crazy Bull
  • ◦ Vivid Gentlemen’s Club
  • ◦ The Men’s Club
  • ◦ XTC cabaret :)
  • ✓ Bunny’s

CLUBS

  • ◦ Story Ultralounge
  • ◦ Magic After hours
  • ◦ Grooves
  • ◦ South Beach Houston
  • ◦ Taste Thursday’s - Cle
  • ◦ Gilt Friday’s - Engine Room
  • ◦ Status Friday’s
  • ◦ Cake Bakery and Bar Friday’s
  • ◦ Latin Friday’s - Lumen
  • ◦ Gavanna
  • ◦ Suede Saturday’s - Engine Room
  • ◦ Hip hop Saturday’s - Lumen
  • ◦ Aura Saturday’s
  • ◦ Dior Saturday’s
  • ◦ Eve Sunday’s / Axis and Alibi
  • ◦ iClub
  • ◦ Club HTX
  • ◦ Barbarella’s
  • ✓ Heart
  • ◦ Cle
  • ✓ Vault
  • ✓ Mercy
  • ✓ Space
  • ◦ Gravity
  • ◦ Tropicana
  • ◦ Volcan
  • ◦ Escapade
  • ◦ Vertigo
  • ✓ Metropolis
  • ✓ Spire
  • ✓ Set
  • ◦ Mynt
  • ◦ Live Oak
  • ◦ Rosemont

Washington D.C., USA

September 21, 2021

8

The Doctor

Washington DC is of course the capital of the United States of America, a big college town, and the city where even the President can get some, whenever he wants it. There are tons of international chicks here thanks to all the foreign embassies, which add some variety to the local mix. Consequently DC rivals New York for boasting the most international residents on the East Coast. The city is divided into four zones. If you don't want to get shot, stabbed, mugged, or do crack and run for Mayor, stick to the safe and fun-filled Northwest area of town. There is a good amount of YP here in DC. owing to the many universities in the area, such as Georgetown University, George Washington University, The University of Maryland and especially Northern Virginia Community College (NoVa for short) just South of D.C. in Annadale, Virginia. Check them out during the day. Most of the action is on M Street starting from around Wisconsin Ave heading East to Connecticut Ave. Third Edition on Winconsin along with Garret' and LuLu's on M Street, The Sports Bar***, Decades on 9th and E, and the Mad Hatter*** are usually good, as are the clubs in the "golden triangle". The best titty bar in the city is Camelots on M Street. The hottest dance club is Tracks on the corner of 1st and M Streets. But be careful. It's gay on some nights, so unless you want to be doing the Macarana with Bubba and friends, I suggest you ask ahead of time. Fifth Column on F Street, the Insect Club on E Street and the Z Club on Z Alley and the Spy Club on 15th Street are also excellent. These are the bars with the South American chicas, who really like to dance. Adams Morgan is a very international neighborhood with plenty of bars and restaurants in which to party, but the ratio tends to be poor. Check out Club Heaven and Hell on 18th Street for cheesy 80's dancing and horny 20-something girls. Head to the cafes and clubs on the Harbor for post-collegiate beauties who are looking for a man with a future. Try Sequoia, if you want to land a gold-digger and don't mind sharing a bar with Euro-fag assholes who pull up to the harbor in their daddy's yacht. You might expect all the YP to leave town, when school lets out for the summertime. Think again. The city is packed with senatorial want-to-be's interning on Capitol Hill for their congressman or some federal agency. And if fat, 60 year-old senators successfully hook up with these bright-eyed naive patriots, you should have no problem. There are plenty Of intern parties also, usually thrown by students from a particular school who are rooming together in a house North of M street in Georgetown ("the G-spot"). Word gets around pretty fast and these parties can be a blast. The Fourth of July in Washington, DC kicks ass with a huge party on the "mall", the big green lawn in the shadow of the Washington Monument. In nearby Reston Virginia, the place to be is Market Street. Clydes, Tap Room, Pizzaria Uno, and shops like BeBe are the places to find the Y.

Santa Barbara, CA, USA

September 21, 2021

0

The Doctor

Don't miss out on visiting Santa Barbara just north of LA. It's fun and packed with beautiful women from all over California. Santa Barbara, along with nearby Malibu, is where Baywatch is filmed. During the academic year, it's packed with gorgeous, college beaver. In the summer time, the less pretentious Californians come here on the weekends to get away from LA. Santa Barbara is probably my favorite city in the US, because it reminds me of the Basque country in Europe. There's a big university, the University of California at Santa Barbara out on La Isla Vista, which should be named La Isla de Chica Finita, a great night life, which centers in and around State Street, and beautiful girls. Half of the girls I saw on the campus of UCSB or out on State Street from Thursday through Saturday night turned my head. I was "phallus in Wonderland!" On top of all that, the beach on La Isla Vista is packed with UCSB girls when it's hot outside. Alas the water's always cold, so don't wear your Speedo's and dive right in, unless you can get one of the sorority girls to perform CPR on your Johnson. I went to a fraternity party on campus here one year and I almost didn't leave. Going to Harvard was definitely not worth missing out on fours years of this. And oh, did I mention? If you think the girls at UCSB were hot, take a walk over to Santa Barbara City College just off of Shoreline Beach by State Street. The girls who were too dumb and too hot to get into UCSB are all here. Double WU! God Damn Factor 10.0— the best score in the US!

Ankara, Turkey

September 21, 2021

0

The Doctor

Just a short jaunt across the Mediterranean lies Turkey, which like Israel, may get overlooked by the traveling PB in search of beautiful women. Turkish women do not hook up with anyone who is not a Turk, but plenty of foreign women hit the shores of Kusadesi, Banrum and Gumbet for their summer holiday

Destin, FL, USA

September 21, 2021

7

The Doctor

If you find yourself in Destin, check out Aqua and Blue Point on the weekends.  McGuires at times is decent.  Check out the several hundred thousand dollar bills stapled to the walls and ceilings.  Pat O’Brien’s (of New Orleans and the famous Hurricane cocktail fame) and Harry T’s, a cool spot on the water, are good.  The Hooters is pretty good here as well.  The YP is decent—all the hot daughters of the rich guys with the hot wives in this town.  The titty bars are decent here as well with Sammy’s being my favorite. Matador, Penthouse Place (a dance club), The Block (a country western bar) are good as well.  For watching sports and talking to cute waitresses, try John O’Quigleys.  AJ’s on the water is fun and has great live music, which draws out the Y, as does the Electric Cowboy. The Village is a good spot as well.  Oasis can be, but beware of the want to be strippers who are fully clothed dancing on the bars. But the hottest club here is Nightown. It's the largest dance club in the area and it's been hot for years. Once you have met a honey you like, take her to the Red Door, a little dive bar, to get cozy. If you want a little variety, check out the Village at Sandestin Resort, where there a several clubs and bars you can go to-- all in the same area. Here you will find the Village Door with Vegas Style live entertainment and the Martini Bar where the cougars abound.

Hamburg, Germany

September 21, 2021

7.5

The Doctor

The best city to go in Germany for women is Hamburg. Hamburg is my favorite for two reasons: It has its own red-light district (although no where near as famous as Amsterdam's), and the women here are good-looking by German standards due to its proximity to Scandinavia and mixing of the gene pool. The gene pool down in the red-light district needs a little chlorine, so be careful! On top of that this is a hot spot for the modeling industry during the summer time, as are Paris and Milan. It's expensive here, but if you really want to see the best that Germany offers as far as women are concerned, open up the wallet a be ready to drop a little cash. The red light district centers on Herbertstrabe. This place is unique in as far as I know, it is the only place in the world (the US Navy's Tailhook bash aside) where according to municipal law women are absolutely, positively not allowed to go, unless of course they're working. (All working women have to show a permit in order to enter this neighborhood.) Yes, Germans take their runkling very seriously. Like Amsterdam, Honolulu and Las Vegas this is a great place to be, if you support the world's oldest profession. There is a perfect atmosphere here: lots of sailors and business businessmen, due to the Hamburg's enormous port. If you are going to check out one titty bar here, let it be Safari on the Repeerbahn. A ton of babe-watching can be done in the big shopping districts of Bleichenhof, SpitalerstraBe and Hanseviertel, along with the multitude of cafes in and around Jungfernstieg and Gansemarkt Plazas, Grobneumarkt, Rodningsmarkt and Rathaus Square. The best place to go at nighttime is without a doubt the Reeperbahn in the St. Pauli District. Yes, this is where St. Pauli beer comes from. This street houses many places of ill and not so ill repute and is the destination of most travelers to Hamburg who are in search of a little YP they don't have to pay for. My favorites are Grobe Freiheit 36 and the Mojo Club on the Reeperbahn and the Havana Bar by the Fish Market. The YP can be found by the university on Grindelalee and Schanzenstrabe especially at Cafe Schone Aussichten on Gorch-Frock-Wall.