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GOD DAMN FACTOR

Barcelona is another Spanish city that just rocks. It's situated in the Northeast of the Iberian Peninsula in a region of Spain called Catatonia. The advantage this city has over other big cities in Spain is that it has a beach. Now it's not a really beautiful beach, but a beach nonetheless. This means that in addition to the great nightlife typical of other Spanish cities, there are tons of beautiful Spanish girls sunbathing on the shores of the city on warm summer days. After experiencing a day at the beach in Barcelona, I dare any country, except maybe the United States, to claim that its women are more attractive than the Catalonians.

In the summertime, definitely head to the beach during the day to flirt with the ladies. Spanish is understood, although of course, they prefer speaking Catalan.

The best places to go early night in Barcelona can be found in a variety of places on Las Ramblas, Barri Gotic, the Placa Reial, Placa Catalunya, Cuitat Vella, and Port Olympic. They are all lined with pubs and bars and tons of people. Check out Districo Maritimo on Moll de la Fusta, Pachito in Puerto Olympic, Polyester on Estacio de Franca, Flat Cat on Calle Teodora la Madrid, Partycular on Auda Tibidabo, El Otro on Calle Valencia, Cafe Zurich on Placa Catalunya, Cafe de 1' Opera on Las Rablas and On/Off on Cami de la Fuxarda.

The best discotecas in the city include New York on Calle Escudellers, La Linea 6,25 on Calle Enric Grandees, Nits on Placa Joan Llongueres, Otto Zutz Club on Calle Lincoln, Apolo on Calle Nov de Rambla, and Karma in Placa Reial. Don't bother going out before 2 am and beware of the club employees, especially the bouncers who guard the entrances, who have attitudes that put the Madrid security to shame.

Some helpful hints on how to get into a club in Barcelona hassle-free: dress well, go with a group (preferably one which includes women) and go with someone who speaks Catalan. If you are not a local, they'll know it and possibly charge you a higher cover charge and price for drinks. Apparently, some Spaniards still recall Charles Barkley's nasty display at the '92 Summer Olympics in Barcelona, and no "les gustan los ugly Americanos!" Do your best to deal calmly with any situations that arise.

Barcelona is also big on warehouse parties and carpas, outdoor parties under tents in a wide-open space somewhere. You definitely have to ask a local about these, their dates, and locations. El Submari on Calle Fernando Poo and Firestiu on Placa de 1' Univers are where they have been held in the past. They are definitely very popular, so if the word is that all the locals are headed there on a certain night, check it out.

If you do only one touristy thing while you're in Spain, let it be a visit to Montjuïc (Mountain of the Jews), where the 1992 Olympic Games were held.

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Barcelona, Spain

November 1, 2021

9.5

God Damn Factor

Barcelona is another Spanish city that just rocks. It's situated in the Northeast of the Iberian Peninsula in a region of Spain called Catatonia. The advantage this city has over other big cities in Spain is that it has a beach. Now it's not a really beautiful beach, but a beach nonetheless. This means that in addition to the great nightlife typical of other Spanish cities, there are tons of beautiful Spanish girls sunbathing on the shores of the city on warm summer days. After experiencing a day at the beach in Barcelona, I dare any country, except maybe the United States, to claim that its women are more attractive than the Catalonians.

In the summertime, definitely head to the beach during the day to flirt with the ladies. Spanish is understood, although of course, they prefer speaking Catalan.

The best places to go early night in Barcelona can be found in a variety of places on Las Ramblas, Barri Gotic, the Placa Reial, Placa Catalunya, Cuitat Vella, and Port Olympic. They are all lined with pubs and bars and tons of people. Check out Districo Maritimo on Moll de la Fusta, Pachito in Puerto Olympic, Polyester on Estacio de Franca, Flat Cat on Calle Teodora la Madrid, Partycular on Auda Tibidabo, El Otro on Calle Valencia, Cafe Zurich on Placa Catalunya, Cafe de 1' Opera on Las Rablas and On/Off on Cami de la Fuxarda.

The best discotecas in the city include New York on Calle Escudellers, La Linea 6,25 on Calle Enric Grandees, Nits on Placa Joan Llongueres, Otto Zutz Club on Calle Lincoln, Apolo on Calle Nov de Rambla, and Karma in Placa Reial. Don't bother going out before 2 am and beware of the club employees, especially the bouncers who guard the entrances, who have attitudes that put the Madrid security to shame.

Some helpful hints on how to get into a club in Barcelona hassle-free: dress well, go with a group (preferably one which includes women) and go with someone who speaks Catalan. If you are not a local, they'll know it and possibly charge you a higher cover charge and price for drinks. Apparently, some Spaniards still recall Charles Barkley's nasty display at the '92 Summer Olympics in Barcelona, and no "les gustan los ugly Americanos!" Do your best to deal calmly with any situations that arise.

Barcelona is also big on warehouse parties and carpas, outdoor parties under tents in a wide-open space somewhere. You definitely have to ask a local about these, their dates, and locations. El Submari on Calle Fernando Poo and Firestiu on Placa de 1' Univers are where they have been held in the past. They are definitely very popular, so if the word is that all the locals are headed there on a certain night, check it out.

If you do only one touristy thing while you're in Spain, let it be a visit to Montjuïc (Mountain of the Jews), where the 1992 Olympic Games were held.

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Nearby Cities

Rotterdam, Netherlands

November 12, 2021

8

The Doctor

Rotterdam is a much more laid-back place than Amsterdam. People here like to hang out, listen to live music, kick back with a beer, and chill.

This used to be a large port town. These days the biggest imports tend to be drugs like heroin or ecstasy. I was walking along the pier one night and saw a bunch of people trying to step around this guy lying face down on the pavement, whacked out of his mind on drugs. I decided to play doctor and went over to see if I could help out. His sister was standing over him trying to revive him. An ambulance came. I got an IV started and gave him a shot of naloxone, and he perked right up. His sister thanked me, gave me her number, and we spent the rest of the weekend together!

Check out Oude Haven and Nieuwe Binnenweg and walk the streets in search of your very own Dutch goddess in the stores, restaurants, and cafes so numerous in these areas. Head to Westerpaviljoen on Matheneserlaan, Night Town on West Kruiskade, or Beat Corner on Gravendijkwal - you won't be disappointed.

Florence, Italy

November 8, 2021

8

The Doctor

Florence is a beautiful place, I'd even say exquisite. The artwork here is absolutely priceless and unmatched in all the world, and for once, I am not talking about the women!

The River Arno runs south of downtown. Shops around the Duomo (the Cathedral) are the best places to meet the chicas doing their expensive shopping. They've got everything from Versace to Dolce and Prada to Max Mara. Now I am not the kind of guy who spends $400US on a T-shirt, no matter how tragically the designer he may have died, but as any well-traveled guy knows: where there is high fashion and great leather goods, there are attractive women.

Florence, like Rome, is a big college town. But unlike Rome, the Italian women generally check out of this city during the summer months, especially August. A lot of them head to the beaches on the Italian Riviera or elsewhere to work on their strapless tans. So although you will meet plenty of international girls here sampling the sights in Florence, there may be few Italian babes to chat up if you visit in the summertime. Check out the local girls in the University Quarter in and around Via San Gallo and Via Cavour.

To meet some of the beautiful, Italian women who live here year-round, head to Piazza Dell Republica or Piazza Singnoria, which are very popular during the day, along with Piazza Santo Spirito on Monday nights. Check out Lo Sfizzio on Lungarno Cellini and Space Electronic on Via Palazzuolo come nightfall.

When it's late on a weekend, you have to check out Meccano Meccano, a club so good they named it twice. It just takes a minute to fill out the ridiculous "membership applications" to gain entry. It's a huge club, it rocks on any given weekend night, and it's very Italian

The Piazza San Giovanni, Plaza San Spirito Via dei Calzaiuoli, and Via Roma are good places to meet foreign girls here on holiday in the summertime. Head to museums like the Uffizi and Accademia and do some sightseeing along with all of the other backpacking chicas.

If you want to meet one of the many US and other foreign students studying at the university, head to the Stonehenge on Via Dell Amorino or the Red Garter on Via D. Benci early evening. The Park District also has various student haunts. Ask around.

If you are going to finally have that one, decent Italian meal you promised yourself, this is the place to do it. Things are a little more reasonably priced here than they are in many other major Italian cities. Eat at a decent restaurant, try some pasta, olives, chianti, cappuccino, and gelati.

Madrid, Spain

November 10, 2021

9.5

The Doctor

Now I'm the kind of guy who likes to save the best for last, but in this case, I'll make an exception. Spain is hands down one of the best countries for women in the entire world. Spanish women are beautiful, and every city in this country is full of them. Madrid, Seville, and Barcelona rock from autumn 'til spring, and the beaches of Ibiza and the Costa del Sol are crazy in the summertime. Each one of these places has its own personality and is very different. Thankfully, the one thing they have in common is being home to some damn fine chicas.

One thing to keep in mind: life is different here. The Spanish think of work as something they have to do to make money so that they can have fun when they're not working. When they get a pay raise, they cut back on their hours, so that they can have more time to enjoy themselves. Now that's a work ethic I can relate to!

Another thing to remember is that appearances are extremely important to the Spanish. You have got to look your best to do well here. That means for all you backpacking dudes, do some laundry before exploring the nightlife. Ditch the baseball cap and the Nike's, and wear long pants and decent shoes. Trust me on this one. This ain't Seattle, grunge boy! Your efforts will be well worth it.

The Spanish are definitely not shy about public displays of affection. Take a walk through Retiro Park, Madrid on a warm Saturday afternoon in the springtime. You can't walk ten feet without stepping on some Spanish couple making out hot and heavy. Some of these couples stay there and make out for hours and hours. Muchas pelotas azules [blue balls], aycaramba!).

Spanish girls are not the easiest girls to hook up with. Traditionally, they are very strictly Catholic, but the attitudes towards sex are changing, slowly. Spain, like some other European countries, has an awesome tradition which other places, like the US, Australia, and Asia, don't - members of the opposite sex kiss each other when they meet. This is a good thing, a very good thing. So while in Spain, so as not to seem like an idiot, the way you carry out a proper Spanish kiss is as follows: kiss her right cheek and then her left at such an angle that she can kiss you too. Make it seem familiar and natural to you. When I asked a Spanish girl why the Spanish kiss each cheek, she said to me, "That's so one cheek won't be jealous of the other!" A perfect answer, if I ever heard one. As is obvious with this example, the Spanish don't ignore their sexuality, they celebrate it. The rest of the world can learn an important lesson from them.

Madrid is unbelievable. It's a great party town. The people here just don't sleep, so while you're here do as the locals do and stay up - you can sleep when you're dead. This city reminds me of New York, but with better-looking women. It's big, there's loads of fun to be had, and the "city never sleeps". Unfortunately, some of the residents also have the attitude of New Yorkers. But with some effort on your part to be friendly, avoid seeming like an undesirable foreign tourist, and pulling out your high school Spanish, you're going to have a blast with the babes. Oddly enough, the one phrase I remember from high school, "Donde es la biblioteca, abuela [Where is the library, grandma?], never did get me any phone numbers.

A typical weekday for the residents of Madrid consists of getting up late, going to work or school, eating lunch, taking a siesta (very necessary in the summertime to avoid the scorching daytime heat), going back to work or school, then out for tapas (small dishes of food served at bars), then dinner, then out to the bars until around 2 am.

From Thursday 'til Sunday, the schedule is slightly modified. They'll take a nap after dinner, hit the bars around 12 am and the discos around 3 am, and then possibly after-hours clubs. That's right. I said 3 am! If they have to work the next day, they'll often just go straight from the clubs to work. This explains why the women who ride the subways in the morning oftentimes look like they just stepped off the pages of Vogue or Cosmo.

If you're actually awake during the day, check out Retiro Park, Puerta del Sol, Plaza de Santa Anna, Plaza Mayor, Placio Real, and the Prado Museum, which like the Louvre in Paris is packed with hot tourist booty, mostly from the US and Australia. Alternatively head to the shopping districts around the Calle Princesa and the Gran Via where you'll find the women shopping for even hotter outfits. Don't forget the local college girls at the University of Madrid in and around Arguelles and Moncloa. Higher education never looked so good!

The best places to go early evening are the streets off of the Plaza Mayor (especially Cuchilleros Street for its famed cave bars, which are cheap, cool, and fun), Puerta del Sol, and Plaza San Martin. The students hang out in the cheaper bars by the university, especially in Arguelles, Malasana, Chueca, and Bilboa.

Later on head to the many bars and clubs in Malasaria, Huertas, and Salamanca Districts. The names and decor change year to year, so just follow the noise or ask the locals. Try Revolver on Calle Galileo, Parador de la Moncloa on Calle Isaac Peral, Autores on Calle Campoamorum, Mykonos on Principe and Cerveceria Ratskeller, if you don't know where to start.

The discos are where everyone goes late at night, or more appropriately early in the morning. They are among the best in the entire world, as far as the quantity and quality of the patrons is concerned. Don't show up before 2 am or you will be alone sipping on $12 drinks to pass the time. The best of the best are Joy Eslava on Calle Arenal, Archy on Calle Marques de Riscal, and Club Andy Warhol's on Calle Luchana. Katmandu on Senores de Luzan, Aqualung on Paseo de la Ermita del Santa, Villa Rosa in Plaza de Santa Anna, Theatro Kapital on Calle Atocha, and Morocco on Calle Marques de Leganes are all close runner-ups. If you have a car or have access to one, check out Megacity, a huge club, which is actually outside the city limits on Centro Comercial Parque Corredor, and draws an enormous amount of people on the weekends.

Unlike other cities in Europe, it is better to stay at a hotel rather than a hostel, unless you are planning to hit on other tourists. The hotels here are generally inexpensive, and you will definitely get more for your money and a lot more privacy. Hotels anywhere around the Plaza Mayor or the Puerta del Sol will put you right in the middle of the action.

You can't go wrong visiting this country no matter what time of year it is, but be aware that things slow down just a tad in the summer months.

Leiden, Netherlands

November 10, 2021

8.5

The Doctor

Leiden is a small town, but a big destination for youthful Dutch who want to attend Holland's oldest university, located within the city limits. Even better, it is a popular place for a lot of international students to study.

The bad thing is that a lot of the social life centers around the exclusive fraternities and societies of the university, which are open to members only. They remind me of the parties in the finals clubs at Harvard, only with better-looking girls.

The best bars are mostly on Bree Straat and its side streets, such as Vismarkt Botermarkt.

Weeknights are awfully quiet, so the best time to party is on the weekends. Haarlemmerstraat is packed with girls shopping, department stores, and places to eat.

There are tons of great girls here, so don't let the quiet and shy demeanor of the town discourage you. Look around and ask a local dude where to find the finest women.

Alicante, Spain

October 29, 2021

9

The Doctor

Alicante is a small university town with a beach, a great combination! The best beach is the Playa de Sant Joan, which is actually just outside of town. Although El Postiguet and its boardwalk, Esplanada d'Espanya, are close, my advice is to skip them as they tend to be full of annoying tourists and families.

The nightlife centers in El Bario around the Cathedral. Calle Mayor and its side streets are loaded with bars, some of which are pretty cool but incredibly small. Try Buggati on Calle Sant Ferran late at night.

I prefer Alicante in the late spring while school is still in session and the babes haven't headed off for Ibiza or the Costa del Sol. Trust me on this one— you definitely want to check out the university if you are here during the academic year. Oh, the babes!

If you're here during the summer, there is a special train that runs late connecting downtown Alicante with the hot spots on the Playa de Sant Joan, which tends to be much more fun when school is out. Head to Avenue Niza and Avenue de la Condomina for the discos. Marmarela Mediterranean Cocktail Club, Copity, and Havana Castaños are excellent.

Munich, Germany

November 10, 2021

7.5

The Doctor

The best time to be in Munich is during Octoberfest, not only to hit on beautiful German girls, but to hit on the beautiful foreign tourists who come here every year. Who knows why, but Octoberfest usually begins in September and lasts 16 days. The exact dates change year to year so be sure to check your calendar before planning your itinerary. But be forewarned. Drinking beer is mainly a guy thing to do, even during Octoberfest, or rather especially during Octoberfest, so don't expect loads of women lining up to be wooed by you - the ratios aren't great.

The Haufbrau tent is the best place to meet the chicas since you can actually walk around as you like with a beer in hand - something you can't do at some of the other tents, where they won't even serve you unless you are sitting at a table. Head to a club called the Hippodrome just a short stagger away, where the drunken go to party late at night, which for the Germans means until 1:00 am.

Surprisingly enough, this place looks like animal house meets Disneyland, since between all of the beer tents there are things like roller coasters and Ferris wheels to tempt the inebriated. It brought back memories of the very first time I got drunk. I was 13 years old. My buddies thought that it would be really funny to take me to the local playground, bounce me up and down on the see-saw and hang me upside-down on the monkey bars until I puked.

You don't have to come here during Octoberfest to drink beer. At any time there are loads of people who flock to the popular watering holes here in Munich. The best places to drink are the Lawenbrau Keller on Nymphenburgerstrabe and the Hofbrauhaus in the Am Platz. At the Hofbrauhaus, you'll probably have your best shot at meeting the hundreds of foreign tourists that are here in this city at any given time.

Personally, my favorite German brew is Augustiner. You can get some at their beer hall on Arnulfstrabe.

Much of the best nightlife centers around Leopoldstrabe. The university is located in Schwabing, a suburb of Munich located west of the Englischer Garden. For the guy in search of attractive German coeds, your best bet is to check around Munchener Freiheit. Nachtwerk on Landesbergerstrabe is probably the best club around here on the weekends. The largest club in Munich is actually an old airport, which was converted to a concert hall/dance club. It's called Flughafen Riem on Togingerstrabe, and it has three main sections, all of which can accommodate several thousand people. Right next to it is a club called Ultraschall which opens when the Reim closes, so if you're the kind of person who likes to party German-style, while the rest of the country is attending church, this is the place for you.

The Park Cafe on Sophienstrabe, like the one in Copenhagen, is pretty cool on the weekends for something more lowkey.