November 2, 2021
Chicago is a guy's town. Bars here tend to be full of guys who sit around, drink beer and talk about women and sports. But there are places to meet girls if you know where to look.
The good thing about this place is that many of the good-looking women from the Midwest come here to live, work and go to school, because it really is the only reasonably international, cosmopolitan city in this area of the country.
The bad thing about Chicago is that it is colder than hell. Winds coming from Canada sweep across the freezing water of the Great Lakes into Chicago and hence the city's epithet, the "windy city".
The weather may be cold and rainy, but the women are warm and friendly. The only place I have ever been where girls came up to me in the bar and sat down with a pitcher of beer and asked me to have a drink with them! If you are here in the summer when it is finally warm outside, you will find numerous outdoor festivals where you can try your luck with the mid-Western girls who are happy to be out socializing after the long winter has subsided.
At night the places to be here are Rush and Division Streets, Bucktown, and the North Side for the bars and clubs. The Chicago social scene is similar to Philadelphia's in that it is very competitive, so step it up!
My favorite places are Delilah's on North Lincoln Ave, the Big Nasty on Lincoln Ave, El Jardin's on North Clark Street, The Hang Uppe on West Elm Street, Clubby Bear on West Addison, the Baja Beach Club on East 3rd Street, Kincaids, the Shelter on Fulton, the Wild Hare on Clark and Butch McGuire's on Division Street. If you are in town while a football or baseball game is going on and you don't have tickets for the game, check out the Bull and Bear-- a sports bar aptly named for the local sports teams which they support.
Washington DC is of course the capital of the United States of America, a big college town, and the city where even the President can get some, whenever he wants it. There are tons of international chicks here thanks to all the foreign embassies, which add some variety to the local mix. Consequently DC rivals New York for boasting the most international residents on the East Coast. The city is divided into four zones. If you don't want to get shot, stabbed, mugged, or do crack and run for Mayor, stick to the safe and fun-filled Northwest area of town. There is a good amount of YP here in DC. owing to the many universities in the area, such as Georgetown University, George Washington University, The University of Maryland and especially Northern Virginia Community College (NoVa for short) just South of D.C. in Annadale, Virginia. Check them out during the day. Most of the action is on M Street starting from around Wisconsin Ave heading East to Connecticut Ave. Third Edition on Winconsin along with Garret' and LuLu's on M Street, The Sports Bar***, Decades on 9th and E, and the Mad Hatter*** are usually good, as are the clubs in the "golden triangle". The best titty bar in the city is Camelots on M Street. The hottest dance club is Tracks on the corner of 1st and M Streets. But be careful. It's gay on some nights, so unless you want to be doing the Macarana with Bubba and friends, I suggest you ask ahead of time. Fifth Column on F Street, the Insect Club on E Street and the Z Club on Z Alley and the Spy Club on 15th Street are also excellent. These are the bars with the South American chicas, who really like to dance. Adams Morgan is a very international neighborhood with plenty of bars and restaurants in which to party, but the ratio tends to be poor. Check out Club Heaven and Hell on 18th Street for cheesy 80's dancing and horny 20-something girls. Head to the cafes and clubs on the Harbor for post-collegiate beauties who are looking for a man with a future. Try Sequoia, if you want to land a gold-digger and don't mind sharing a bar with Euro-fag assholes who pull up to the harbor in their daddy's yacht. You might expect all the YP to leave town, when school lets out for the summertime. Think again. The city is packed with senatorial want-to-be's interning on Capitol Hill for their congressman or some federal agency. And if fat, 60 year-old senators successfully hook up with these bright-eyed naive patriots, you should have no problem. There are plenty Of intern parties also, usually thrown by students from a particular school who are rooming together in a house North of M street in Georgetown ("the G-spot"). Word gets around pretty fast and these parties can be a blast. The Fourth of July in Washington, DC kicks ass with a huge party on the "mall", the big green lawn in the shadow of the Washington Monument. In nearby Reston Virginia, the place to be is Market Street. Clydes, Tap Room, Pizzaria Uno, and shops like BeBe are the places to find the Y.
Palm Springs is the big spring break hangout in California. It's out in the middle of nowhere, but it's fun as hell. There obviously aren't any beaches, but they have something almost as good: beautiful girls poolside.
The hotels here are huge and offer spring break packages at special discounts. It's very easy to meet chicks who are staying at your hotel because it's really obvious who the students are and who the older, rich folk are.
The main street downtown is packed on nights when spring breakers are in town. The crowd is much smaller and much less hedonistic than other spring break spots, but there are beautiful women. Most of the female students who come here to party tend to be of the wealthy, stuck-up, LA variety.
If you are in Maryland from June through August check out Ocean City. This beach town is a great place since tons of girls from the city and surrounding communities of Baltimore and Washington, DC flock here in droves in the summertime.
This place is as cheesy as the Jersey shore but more compact. Every summer this place is packed with high schoolers, big-haired Baltimore girls, and the like. They're all spread out on the 10 mile stretch of beach, but you only really need to hang out by the boardwalk.
Check out Seacrets on 49th for nighttime revelry.
After one views the oasis of women in Dallas and Austin, the traveling gentleman would expect to find women of similar quality in Houston. There may be an equal number of good-looking girls in all of these cities, but a large proportion of the ones in Houston work in strip clubs. From a statistical standpoint, Houston tops Atlanta and Phoenix by distinguishing itself as having the greatest number of strip clubs per capita of any major city in the United States. These aren't tiny, seedy joints either. These clubs are enormous with multiple floors, wide-open spaces, and huge VIP rooms.
I mention this because it's oftentimes more fruitful to spend your time hitting on the dancers in their native environment, rather than when they are out with their friends on the weekend and don't want to deal with men who aren't feeding them $20 bills.
For the best strip clubs in Houston, head to Treasures (code name Big T) and the Men's Club (code name TMC) in the Galleria area, or St. James (code name Church) on the north side of town by Bush Intercontinental Airport. The girls are very friendly and give great dances. These clubs are where you'll have the best chance of picking up some digits. Get to know the managers here if you can, to get hooked up with free drinks and VIP.
Outside of the strip clubs, most Houstonian women congregate around the multitude of bars and clubs in mid-town, downtown and the Heights - Eight, Taps, Rayne, Manor, Benjy’s, Rare, Mo’s, Rich’s, Nox, Diem, Red Door Kung Fu Cafe, Blue Label, and Hugh's Hanger. Downtown Houston was the bomb years ago, but now, not so much. There are a few places to hang though: Flying Saucer is always packed with dude macking on the cute waitresses in kilts. Venue is a cool dance club that's only open on the weekends. The waitresses are pretty, as is the occasional patron. After-hours it's Club 1815 that brings in all the girls.
After after-hours, head to Mai's Restaurant to chow down on some awesome Vietnamese food and sober up with all of the other late-night party people who are there doing the same thing. Food makes drunk people happy, so this may be your last chance to meet someone until the next time out.
During the day, check out the Galleria, the big shopping district in town. There is one to match this one in Dallas further North.
Alternatively, check out Rice Village by the University of the same name, on a Saturday afternoon. The University of Houston, Rice University, and Houston Community College supplies the city with college girls, so check them out if you have the chance.
If you happen to be in Houston in the spring, don't miss Buzz Fest in the Woodlands, where all the festie girls go to listen to music at the Woodlands Pavilion after smoking weed and drinking in the parking lot. When it's not festival time in The Woodlands, the place to hang out from Thursday to Saturday night is the Market Street area. Bar Louie's, Bakers Street, etc. will get the job done.
Are you into healthy, tree-hugging granola chicks? Then head to the Whole Foods on Dallas and Waugh in midtown. There's a bar there and usually some pretty, professional, health-conscious girls shopping right after work or the gym.
If you are into the kicker bar scene (and what self-respecting PB doesn’t love hot Southern girls in Daisy Dukes?), head to Wild West on Richmond or Big Texas on the south side of town. For whatever reason, Wednesdays are the nights for kicker bars in Texas. Get out there and dance, my friends. The ladies love it.
Down south of Houston you will find the small city of Webster, Texas. Here you will find the best prospects in the Houston area. Hooters and Twin Peaks (both at Nasa Road 1 and I-45 South) have the prettiest waitresses in Houston on any given night. But be careful, it is cliquey down here. If you didn't grow up here and know everyone in the town since high school, you have to be aggressive or have a referral from someone they know and feel safe with. Otherwise, if you want to be successful with the ladies down here, you will have to put in the time.
BARS + 📸
Orlando is a kid's paradise with Disney World, Sea World, MGM Studios, Universal Studios, and Epcot Center all located here. It's a great place to go if you're a teenager trying to meet other teens living their Disney dream.
Fortunately, there are also plenty of good-looking Florida natives who work in all of these places during the summer. Epcot Center is my personal favorite because Disney flies in beautiful foreign girls to work its international pavilions in an effort to give Epcot's "world showcase" an atmosphere of authenticity.
Church Street Station is the place to be for weekend nighttime revelry. Makos is my absolute favorite. The beautiful bartenders, shot girls, beer tub girls, and swing girls are so fine. There's constant churn at this place; you hardly ever see the same girls month to month. Awesome. Bring you’re A-game: these girls get hit on constantly, so do something to set yourself apart.
For the regular girls, Chillers and Lattitudes right next door are good. Suite B is a cool lounge. If you want young, hip, pierced, and tattooed, head to Back Booth.
Even on non-weekend nights, you can usually find something going on in Downtown Orlando off of Church Street and Orange Ave. Follow the noise and the crowd and have a good time.
The University of Central Florida is here and the typical Thursday night is good by the university at places like Knight Club, Library and Scoop. There you will find all the beautiful Florida college coeds but be warned: these bars are very cliquey. Don’t be a pussy and roll-up. The Wing House by the university is also really good mostly during the school year, where most of the hot college girls will work for easy tips off of the patrons that worship them. The Hooters by the Orlando airport is usually good as well.
In the land of Disney, the strip clubs are pretty terrible. But in nearby Altamonte, Rachels is pretty decent. There you will find beautiful girls to hit on almost every day of the week.
Also close to Orlando is Lake Mary, Florida. The Tilted Kilt (yet another Hooters knock-off) has some beautiful waitresses. Like I keep saying - learn to hit on the help.
If you're in New Jersey during the summertime, check out the beaches at Belmar, Long Beach Island, and Wildwood. There are always girls there on the weekends when the weather's hot. Belmar has the beautiful, guido-loving, collegiate types from North Jersey, while Wildwood and its infamous boardwalk tends to cater more towards families and a younger crowd.
All you men take note - all of the bars on the Jersey shore are cheesy as hell. So if you shave your chest, drive an "I-Roc", wear gold chains and call yourself "Vito", you will feel right at home.
Generally, the further south you go on the shore the less cheesy it becomes, but lately, the cheese has been spilling out as far south as Long Beach Island. The Shell on Engleside or the Katch are the only two places to really meet girls in Long Beach on summer weekends.