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GOD DAMN FACTOR

If you get sick of Miami's pretentiousness or can't stand that salsa and meringue echoing in your ears anymore, retreat northward to Ft. Lauderdale. There lie beautiful girls as well, but they are distinctly American. Check it out in the daytime during the academic year.

Fort Lauderdale's shopping district is centered on Sawgrass Mills and Los Olas Blvd, and there are plenty of girls here out and about.

Many of Fort Lauderdale's best clubs are located on the corners of Sunrise and North Ocean Boulevards and on the oceanfront strip along Atlantic Blvd., where the beaches, bars, and babes abide. My favorite places include Elbow Room, Hooters, LuLu’s, and Exit 66.

Downtown Lauderdale has really evolved as a place to meet women.  Automatic Slims (especially on college night Thursdays during the school year), Americas Back Yard, Himmarshee, Side Bar, Brick, Briny Pub, Cayote Ugly, Hooka Bar, VooDoo (Ladies night on Thursdays) and Tarpin Bend are awesome for the ladies. 

For great food and drinks early, hot waitresses, and more mature women, do Bova Prime and Yolo on Las Olas.  The hottest women in Fort Lauderdale work on the weekends, so be sure you know how to hit on the help, player boy.

The best strip clubs here are Pure Platinum, Solid Gold (with crazy acrobatic shows twice nightly), but nearby Tootsies is the best of the best.

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Fort Lauderdale, FL, USA

November 8, 2021

9.5

God Damn Factor

If you get sick of Miami's pretentiousness or can't stand that salsa and meringue echoing in your ears anymore, retreat northward to Ft. Lauderdale. There lie beautiful girls as well, but they are distinctly American. Check it out in the daytime during the academic year.

Fort Lauderdale's shopping district is centered on Sawgrass Mills and Los Olas Blvd, and there are plenty of girls here out and about.

Many of Fort Lauderdale's best clubs are located on the corners of Sunrise and North Ocean Boulevards and on the oceanfront strip along Atlantic Blvd., where the beaches, bars, and babes abide. My favorite places include Elbow Room, Hooters, LuLu’s, and Exit 66.

Downtown Lauderdale has really evolved as a place to meet women.  Automatic Slims (especially on college night Thursdays during the school year), Americas Back Yard, Himmarshee, Side Bar, Brick, Briny Pub, Cayote Ugly, Hooka Bar, VooDoo (Ladies night on Thursdays) and Tarpin Bend are awesome for the ladies. 

For great food and drinks early, hot waitresses, and more mature women, do Bova Prime and Yolo on Las Olas.  The hottest women in Fort Lauderdale work on the weekends, so be sure you know how to hit on the help, player boy.

The best strip clubs here are Pure Platinum, Solid Gold (with crazy acrobatic shows twice nightly), but nearby Tootsies is the best of the best.

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Seattle, WA, USA

November 15, 2021

7.5

The Doctor

Seattle is a great place if you are into chicks who drink coffee, dig rainy weather, and are into alt-rock. This is a very young and alternative city that spawned groups like Nirvana and Pearl Jam back in the day. It rains 270 days of the year here which is quite depressing. Seattle is where grunge was born, which means nobody dresses well and are pierced and tatted. Seattle is the home of Microsoft and Boeing, so the city is practically overrun with computer geeks and engineering nerds.  You can probably convince a lot of girls to go out with you if you just pretend to be a rich Microsoft exec. Your next best bet is to pierce your nose, get a visible tattoo and carry around a guitar.

At least the University of Washington keeps the coeds in supply year-round. They can be found on University Way and its side streets, the Queen Anne neighborhood, and Pioneer Square.

Dream Girls is the best strip club in town. 

A kicker bar called Cow Girls is kind of a knock-off of Coyote Ugly, with cute girls in Daisy Duke shorts dancing on tables.  It's hard to talk to them though as they go through their routines. At least they're decent to look at while they short-pour your overpriced drinks.

If you get tired of mediocre waitresses ignoring your drink order to finish their dance routines, head to Trinity and the Last Supper Club in Pioneer Square. The closest thing to real action in Seattle is the L. A.-wannabe nightclubs in Belltown: Amber, Frontier Room, Cellars, and Belltown Billiards. Surprisingly, there are plenty of hot women to be found in these places but don’t bother coming on any night other than Friday or Saturday. Don't be fooled by the fresh tans, they're really not from LA. The tanning salons do a thriving business here since it rains so much. Sometimes you'll find some Canadians coming down on the weekends to party, and they're usually pretty cool.

The Hooters over by Chandlers Cove is interesting if you are into that sort of thing. Right next door is Joey's, which generally has hot waitresses and decent food with a view of the Cove. If you snag one of the waitresses, take her to the Citrus Club around the corner from Joey's. If it's really late, head to 13 Coins Restaurant, which has good food and is open 24/7, making it a mad house after the bars and clubs close.

For a change of pace, go to the Westlake Center during the day. In this downtown shopping district, you will find pretty women, with no tats or piercing and dressed well. All the typical stores and chain restaurants are there. Go after school or work during the week and on the weekends and you won't be disappointed.

Dallas, TX, USA

November 8, 2021

9

The Doctor

Dallas, Texas is perhaps the best big city in the southern United States. The women here are beautiful. Remember that this is the city that began the great American institution called the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.

Dallas is like Atlanta in that it attracts women from all over the South for school and work. Dallas is in effect two cities in one, with Forth Worth being so close by,so the number of people to supply all of the bars and clubs in this city is tremendous.

The best place to meet women in Dallas is Yale Blvd near SMU - Southern Methodist University (So Many Unbelievably Gorgeous Girls). This street is typical of many drags in American college towns, like State St. in Santa Barbara, Mill Ave. in Phoenix, and 6th Street in Austin, in that there are a bunch of bars and clubs within a drunken stumble from each other. The Green Elephant is my personal favorite, but you'll have a good time in any bar that catches your fancy.

There are many other areas of the city where women abound including Uptown, Upper Middle, and Lower Greenville Street on which you will find plenty of places to party and meet the Dallas girls. The Bank, Black Fin and Lift are some of my favorite places these days. 

Like LA and Vegas, most of the best-looking women in Dallas work in the service industry - bartending and waitressing. One of my favorite things to do in Dallas is visit the multitude of these bars and restaurants and flirt with the help.  Places like Bone Daddy’s, Twin Peaks, Jakes Hamburgers, Natural Sports Lounge, the Winghouse, Third Base and Hooters all call Dallas home.

The strip clubs are far better than the ones in Houston these days. The one I like the most is a place called the Lodge—but don’t bother showing up before 9pm, none of the decent-looking girls show up that early. Baby Dolls at 10250 Shady Trail is pretty cool, even on Sundays. There are also some cool places in Uptown.

The girls who work at the ZaZa Hotel are fine. A short walk down the street you will find Black Friar and The Idle Rich, off of McKinney.  Take the hot date you just met to Nobu or Trulucks right there.

In nearby Addison, there are some places worth checking out. The Hooters, Twin Peaks, Sherlocks, and The Flying Saucer off of Beltline are all excellent. Gloria's is OK if you get tired of hitting on the help.

In nearby Grapevine, Bob's Chop House has a decent selection of wine, so it's a great place to bring that hottie who waited on you at the bar last night.

The downtown hotels, clubs, and bars tend to be older and pretentious, but don't miss the Hooters - you won't be disappointed. This is where all the hottest Hooters girls in Dallas come to get tipped well by the wealthy businessmen working downtown, whose wives won't let them stay out with their buddies at the gentleman's club until late. Wear a suit and a Rolex and be funny and entertaining to get anywhere with the ladies here. Four Lounge is my favorite place in the evenings downtown - a great place for that hot PM date.

Atlantic City, NJ, USA

November 1, 2021

8.5

The Doctor

Atlantic City is great in the summertime when the mostly Italian residents of nearby Philadelphia head over here on the weekends to sunbathe on the beach during the day and party at night. The beaches aren't that great, but who cares.

The casinos here are as good as in Vegas or Monaco, and are usually full of beautiful people. Donald Trump and the Italian Mafia run all of them. Check out Trump's former jewel, the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino (previously known as then Taj Mahal), and play some blackjack. If you don't win, at least you'll drink for free and hopefully get some comps to ease the hurt of losing some potential party money.

The two best clubs here on the summer weekends are by far Boogie Nights on Boardwalk and The Pool After Dark just outside the city. They are more or less like the clubs in Philadelphia, just with freshly tanned bodies in less clothing.

Be careful with the cops in this town, they are unpredictable at times and will hassle you for seemingly no good reason. Apparently, nobody has bothered to tell them that they're patrolling the Sodom and Gomorrah of the East Coast, replete with hookers, pimps, gangsters, and muggers. But God forbid you toss the last bite of your hot dog on the Boardwalk. Just be careful, or you'll be wishing you had a Monopoly "Get out of Jail Free" card.

Charleston, SC, USA

November 2, 2021

8.5

The Doctor

Shockingly this town is a really good time. Fantastic restaurants, Southern hospitality, cool boutique hotels, and beautiful, friendly girls!

Market Street is full of cool college bars with college girls in them Thursday through Saturday, as the College of Charleston is right downtown. Mad River, Johnsons, and Wild Wings are some of the best in town.

There are some cool roof-top bars here. There is one at the Venue Hotel and Henry’s.

The fantastic restaurants in this city include Rue de Jean, Cypress, Pearls, Basil, Blossom, the Library at the Venue Hotel, and High Cotton.

Tucson, AZ, USA

October 25, 2021

8.5

The Doctor

Tucson is a much smaller town than Phoenix, but it's still a hell of a lot of fun. The place to be is Speedway Boulevard where the babes at the University of Arizona roam from Thursday to Saturday. The Cage and the Chicago Bar are my favorites. TD's Show Club (Gotta love the name) and Ten's, the best titty bars in this town are also on this street. This city really slows down come summer time when school is out, and the students head home. So plan your itinerary accordingly.

Milwaukee, WI, USA

November 10, 2021

6.5

The Doctor

Milwaukee is full of friendly, friendly, friendly women, mostly of Scandinavian decent with pretty blue eyes, blond, red, or brunette hair. Summertime is the time to go - wintertime is too damn cold. There are tons of festivals during the summer and any spot along Lake Michigan (which looks more like an ocean to me) is just going to be great.

Surprisingly, this city is cool and sophisticated, with chic bars, lounges, and hotels.

Stay at the Intercontinental or the Phister Hotel. The former is modern and hip, the latter is old school and elegant. Both hotels will be recognized by the ladies in the city. To stay there gives you instead credibility.

There are three main areas downtown where you can meet and greet. The first is Water Street. Places like Water Street Brewery, Bar Louie, Trinity, Buffalo Wild Wings, Sullivans, Magilicutties, Brother, and Whiskey Bar are where the 18-23 crowd is. They are young, pretty, and fresh. But beware - bring your A-game. There are a lot of college guys here looking for the same thing you are, so be bold and be different.

The bars here are crowded, hot and the ratios aren’t the greatest, but you will be fine. Don’t forget how to “hit on the help”, who are gorgeous, friendly, and just plain awesome.

Old World Third Street is the next place you should hit up. Bootleggers, Buckhead, Buck Bradleys, Sweet, Apartment 720, and Sojo 7 are where you will find the ladies 23-28, who are in my opinion the best in the city. Like the proverbial Goldy Locks and the Three Bears, this area is “just right”.

Off the beaten path is a club called Decibel, a traditional nightclub which is lots of fun.

Jefferson Ave and Kilborn is where you will find lounges like Elsas, Mikeys, and Taylors with the 28-35 crowd. Taylors is known for their happy hours, where you can find the smoking hot young corporate executive who was transferred to Milwaukee from LA and initially hated the place, but now loves it.

Want to impress your new lady friend and have a great meal? Head to Bacchus, where the Bartolotta family keeps the food and the atmosphere charming and elegant. Umami Moto and Carnivore are other awesome places but be sure to leave room for desert following the amazing entrees.