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GOD DAMN FACTOR

Gadsden, Alabama, USA. Small town. Confederate flag hanging from many of the homes. Not much to do out here besides fish and eat catfish. Cute red-neck girls out here due to a couple of smaller community colleges in the area. Lots of moms.

Live music is huge here. Just about every bar and club has a cover of about $10. By far the best girls will be found at a cool, hip lounge called Twisted at 504 Broad Street. You would never think a place this nice would be in the middle of Gadsden, Alabama, but it is and the girls LOVE IT. Go get 'em, Tiger.

The Chestnut Saloon has live music and cute country girls drinking at the bar, but it's loud and hard to talk at times. Dr. Feel Goodz is another place to meet the older single mother type ladies if that's your vibe. However, the club does tend to redeem itself with the jello wrestling contests. Another place to meet older single mother types is a tiny country bar with a big attitude, the Wagon Wheel. After hours, there is After Life, a members-only dance club open until 5am.

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Gadsden, AL, USA

November 8, 2021

7.5

God Damn Factor

Gadsden, Alabama, USA. Small town. Confederate flag hanging from many of the homes. Not much to do out here besides fish and eat catfish. Cute red-neck girls out here due to a couple of smaller community colleges in the area. Lots of moms.

Live music is huge here. Just about every bar and club has a cover of about $10. By far the best girls will be found at a cool, hip lounge called Twisted at 504 Broad Street. You would never think a place this nice would be in the middle of Gadsden, Alabama, but it is and the girls LOVE IT. Go get 'em, Tiger.

The Chestnut Saloon has live music and cute country girls drinking at the bar, but it's loud and hard to talk at times. Dr. Feel Goodz is another place to meet the older single mother type ladies if that's your vibe. However, the club does tend to redeem itself with the jello wrestling contests. Another place to meet older single mother types is a tiny country bar with a big attitude, the Wagon Wheel. After hours, there is After Life, a members-only dance club open until 5am.

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Hoboken, NJ, USA

November 8, 2021

8.5

The Doctor

Hoboken is just a short trip from New York City across the Lincoln or Holland Tunnel. This hot spot is under-the-radar, except for those who live in the New York/New Jersey area. It is said that there are more bars and women in the square mile that makes up Hoboken's downtown than anywhere else in the United States of America, and most of it is on Washington between 1st and 14th!

Weekends are the only time to go; when the place is packed with pretty girls from North Jersey and lots of guido types looking for the same thing you are. Beware the big-haired girls in this part of the country, cheesy Jersey shore types with low IQ's and hair that will not budge in 40 mile-per-hour winds. They're everywhere and tend to prefer the big, Italian guys who drive Iroc Z's and have names like Anthony, Angelo, Marco, and Stefano.

Hoboken Bar and Grill, Bahama Mommas, Nine, Black Bear, 340 Grill, Green Rock, Luiou, the W Hotel lounge, Trinity, and Mile Square are all good places. Don't get complacent in this town. You've got to work quickly and early to meet the best girls. This town is fairly non-pretentious, and there are a lot of professional women here. So with any luck, she may actually pick up the check, and you’ll still have a good time!

San Diego, CA, USA

November 15, 2021

8.5

The Doctor

San Diego is an awesome city. There are tons of beautiful girls here - Playbody is constantly at the local universities recruiting girls to do pictorials for college editions. The bad news is the girls in San Diego tend to date the same guy for years, which can be incredibly frustrating (unless you're him). They don't even go out all that often and give the rest of us a chance. It's not like there's a paucity of bars and clubs, either. San Diego is just one of those places inhabited by a bunch of early-to-bed, early-to-rise kind of people - except on the weekends.

Pacific Beach and Mission Beach are the collegiate, surfer, and military hangouts. La Jolla (pronounced La Hoya, for those of you who flunked high school Spanish and don't want to make an ass out of yourself) is wealthier and boring, but beautiful. Downtown is where it's at, and therefore where you should be! The Gas Lamp District downtown is freakin' awesome. It's and just a short taxi ride from the airport. Stay at the Hard Rock Hotel or the W Hotel - that is where all the beautiful people go.

Girls at the clubs here are similar quality to the ones in LA, but way less pretentious and easily approachable. Look good and dress well down here. Most everyone is fashion conscious since Hollywood is just up the road.

Stingaree, Fleetwood, Basic, La Puerta, Side Bar, and Fluxx are some of my favorite places to meet the ladies. Not sure where to go or what's hot? Just walk up and down Market, G, and F Streets and follow the noise and you will be fine. Check out the Hooters down here. Usually, there's some pretty decent talent.

Pacific Beach, referred affectionately as "PB" by the locals is a perfect place for you to practice your game. The most action in PB is on Garnet. Two huge bars dominate the scene - PB Bar and Grill and Typhoon Saloon. Get there early or be prepared to wait in line. Fred's Mexican Cafe is next door to the Typhoon if you're looking for some decent Mexican food. Check out Bob's Dive, Sinbad Cafe (which is a hooka bar that attracts groups of hot girls), or Cabo Cantina. Tavern on the Beach and Plum Crazy usually has hot girls inside, so it might be worth your time. Society is a billiards place to chill after you have met the cutie you've been looking for. Finally, Millers Field is a cool sports bar filled with girls who are way laid back and cool.

During the day, hang out on the campus of SDSU and check out the boardwalks of Mission and Pacific Beaches after 5:00 pm when the babes come out to work out. Run, bike, or rollerblade and be bold in your approach. The boardwalk is not a place for the shy and timid, it's quite difficult to strike up a conversation with someone who's riding a bike past you! Mouse's on Mission Beach offers a nice vantage point to plan your approach.

Come nighttime on Mission Beach, check out Club Tremors on Garnet and Club Sevilla. There are usually some good-looking women out and about at these places. Be careful: a lot of the women here have military boyfriends or husbands, as there is a huge US Navy base close by. You may have your wrap rudely interrupted by a pissed-off, testosterone-filled soldier who's ready to kick your ass. You may run across a "West Pac Widow", which is a wife of a navy man who is overseas for months at a time in the South Pacific. I tend to avoid the West Pac Widows - it's bad karma to try to get with a soldier's wife.

Another good thing about San Diego is that Tijuana, Mexico is just south of here. There is some serious partying that goes on across the border. The party-goers tend to be kids from San Diego who are under the US legal drinking age and are very intent on taking advantage of the fact that in Mexico if you are old enough to walk (even if you're already drunk), you are old enough to buy alcohol. But beware - don't give money to all the little kids with dirt-smudged, adorable faces selling gum or candy. Unknowing tourists can't help but shove money at them. They make a killing. Don't believe me? Watch one of those little con artists for 15 minutes and see how much money they rake in, it's incredible.

Drunk partiers who piss off Mexican police or bar proprietors have been known to get their asses tossed in jail without trial and have to pay ridiculous bribes to city officials to get out, so be careful down here! Worse yet, if you look at all Mexican you will get a load of shit when you try to come back into the United States, I guarantee it. The border police are dumb as shit, and they like to act like badasses and mess with all the returning party-goers. Don't give them a reason to mess with you. Don't give them the satisfaction. Believe me. I speak from personal experience.

I remember the time I went to Tijuana with my buddies. Being a darkie, I was paranoid that I was going to get harassed by the border patrol when I tried to get back into the country. Sure enough, even after seeing my passport, my license, and my medical school ID, they still brought me to stand before the man, as my buddies (and my brother who looks just like me) were waved through with a nod. I was accused of trying to smuggle steroids into the country and was invasively patted down. When I protested my terrible treatment, as I was leaving the agent said "I am the US border patrol. I can go inside you if I want." Now that's a God complex. Needless to say, I was out of there in a hurry and promised myself that I had just made my last trip to Tijuana. It totally wasn't worth the danger and the hassle.

Destin, FL, USA

November 8, 2021

7

The Doctor

The girls here are decent: all the hot daughters of the rich guys with the hot wives in this town

If you find yourself in Destin, check out Aqua and Blue Point on the weekends. McGuires at times is decent - check out the several hundred thousand dollar bills stapled to the walls and ceilings. Pat O’Brien’s (of New Orleans and the famous Hurricane cocktail fame) and Harry T’s, a cool spot on the water, are good. The Hooters is pretty good here as well. 

The strip clubs here are decent here as well with Sammy’s being my favorite. Matador, Penthouse Place (a dance club), and The Block (a country western bar) are good as well.

For watching sports and talking to cute waitresses, try John O’Quigleys. AJ’s on the water is fun and has great live music, which attracts the Florida girls, as does the Electric Cowboy. The Village is a good spot as well. Oasis can be good but beware of the wannabe strippers who are fully clothed dancing on the bars.

The hottest club here is Nightown. It's the largest dance club in the area and it's been hot for years. Once you have met a girl you like, the next stop is the Red Door, a little dive bar, to get cozy.

If you want a little variety, check out the Village at Sandestin Resort, where there a several clubs and bars you can go to, all in the same area. Here you will find the Village Door with Vegas Style live entertainment and the Martini Bar where the cougars abound.

Aspen, CO, USA

October 29, 2021

7

The Doctor

Damn!  This place is full of lots of bougie, rich people.  When you fly in on your commercial flight, check out the sea of the private jets lining the runways. It’s expensive to fly here. It’s expensive to stay here. It’s expensive to live here. It’s expensive to ski and snowboard here. It’s expensive to eat here. It’s expensive to drink here. And that’s the way the people here like to keep it - rich, white, and exclusive. 

There's nothing to do during the day but hit the slopes, where if you are super lucky, you may meet some hot girl on the mountain or on the ski lift.  As an alternative, you can hit up La Creperie Du Village or Ajax Tavern for lunch at the base of Aspen Mountain.

You may spot some hot cougars up here 7900 feet above sea level, where the alcohol hits them harder—vacationing with their ex-husband's money.  Aspen is way too family-oriented for the typical college-aged girl.  Occasionally you may run across some hot daughters of the rich, white guys and their trophy wives up here.  But it’ll be tough trying to get them away from the watchful eyes of Mommy and Daddy.  If you are willing, you can get contact info and follow up with the hot daughters when they are back home or back at college.

If you bring your own girl to Aspen (as I always do), take her to White House Tavern for a great meal, L’Hosteria for overpriced, average Italian food, Clark's Oyster Bar for an oceanic aphrodisiac, or Su Casa for some solid Mexican.

The nightlife here mostly consists of bars—The Red Onion, Zane's Tavern, J-Bar, and Eric’s (which is like 4 things in one—a restaurant, pool hall, a bar, and a lounge). There is one nightclub here with lots of dudes looking for the same thing you are. It’s called Escobar Aspen. It’s underground with a decent bar and a tiny dance floor.  

West Palm Beach, FL, USA

October 25, 2021

9

The Doctor

Definitely do not miss a trip to West Palm Beach/Boca Raton if you can help it. Clematis Street in West Palm is phat on Thursday night when all of the Y comes out to play. Check out Dr. Feel Good, Monarchy,Rocko’s Tacos, Roxy’s and Bradley. City Place is super close to Clematis.  My fav places there are Blue Martini and Opa. Boca Raton is terrible these days.  The Jewish wives of all the rich dudes here have totally ruined the place.  There are no decent clubs anymore.  The Hooters here (which was once the best in the world) was forced to shut down.  For the YP head to Town Center Boca—a young hip mall, where you can troll for YP.  For more daytime game, head to the campus at Florida Atlantic University, where community college education never looked so good.  Or try Breezzi’s on the weekends.

Ocean City, MD, USA

November 11, 2021

8

The Doctor

If you are in Maryland from June through August check out Ocean City. This beach town is a great place since tons of girls from the city and surrounding communities of Baltimore and Washington, DC flock here in droves in the summertime.

This place is as cheesy as the Jersey shore but more compact. Every summer this place is packed with high schoolers, big-haired Baltimore girls, and the like. They're all spread out on the 10 mile stretch of beach, but you only really need to hang out by the boardwalk.

Check out Seacrets on 49th for nighttime revelry.