November 9, 2021
After one views the oasis of women in Dallas and Austin, the traveling gentleman would expect to find women of similar quality in Houston. There may be an equal number of good-looking girls in all of these cities, but a large proportion of the ones in Houston work in strip clubs. From a statistical standpoint, Houston tops Atlanta and Phoenix by distinguishing itself as having the greatest number of strip clubs per capita of any major city in the United States. These aren't tiny, seedy joints either. These clubs are enormous with multiple floors, wide-open spaces, and huge VIP rooms.
I mention this because it's oftentimes more fruitful to spend your time hitting on the dancers in their native environment, rather than when they are out with their friends on the weekend and don't want to deal with men who aren't feeding them $20 bills.
For the best strip clubs in Houston, head to Treasures (code name Big T) and the Men's Club (code name TMC) in the Galleria area, or St. James (code name Church) on the north side of town by Bush Intercontinental Airport. The girls are very friendly and give great dances. These clubs are where you'll have the best chance of picking up some digits. Get to know the managers here if you can, to get hooked up with free drinks and VIP.
Outside of the strip clubs, most Houstonian women congregate around the multitude of bars and clubs in mid-town, downtown and the Heights - Eight, Taps, Rayne, Manor, Benjy’s, Rare, Mo’s, Rich’s, Nox, Diem, Red Door Kung Fu Cafe, Blue Label, and Hugh's Hanger. Downtown Houston was the bomb years ago, but now, not so much. There are a few places to hang though: Flying Saucer is always packed with dude macking on the cute waitresses in kilts. Venue is a cool dance club that's only open on the weekends. The waitresses are pretty, as is the occasional patron. After-hours it's Club 1815 that brings in all the girls.
After after-hours, head to Mai's Restaurant to chow down on some awesome Vietnamese food and sober up with all of the other late-night party people who are there doing the same thing. Food makes drunk people happy, so this may be your last chance to meet someone until the next time out.
During the day, check out the Galleria, the big shopping district in town. There is one to match this one in Dallas further North.
Alternatively, check out Rice Village by the University of the same name, on a Saturday afternoon. The University of Houston, Rice University, and Houston Community College supplies the city with college girls, so check them out if you have the chance.
If you happen to be in Houston in the spring, don't miss Buzz Fest in the Woodlands, where all the festie girls go to listen to music at the Woodlands Pavilion after smoking weed and drinking in the parking lot. When it's not festival time in The Woodlands, the place to hang out from Thursday to Saturday night is the Market Street area. Bar Louie's, Bakers Street, etc. will get the job done.
Are you into healthy, tree-hugging granola chicks? Then head to the Whole Foods on Dallas and Waugh in midtown. There's a bar there and usually some pretty, professional, health-conscious girls shopping right after work or the gym.
If you are into the kicker bar scene (and what self-respecting PB doesn’t love hot Southern girls in Daisy Dukes?), head to Wild West on Richmond or Big Texas on the south side of town. For whatever reason, Wednesdays are the nights for kicker bars in Texas. Get out there and dance, my friends. The ladies love it.
Down south of Houston you will find the small city of Webster, Texas. Here you will find the best prospects in the Houston area. Hooters and Twin Peaks (both at Nasa Road 1 and I-45 South) have the prettiest waitresses in Houston on any given night. But be careful, it is cliquey down here. If you didn't grow up here and know everyone in the town since high school, you have to be aggressive or have a referral from someone they know and feel safe with. Otherwise, if you want to be successful with the ladies down here, you will have to put in the time.
BARS + 📸
Huge college town. Lots of beautiful girls. Check out the campus of the University of Alabama at Huntsville during the day when all the beautiful girls are roaming between classes.
If you can't make it during the day, check the evening shift on the weekends at the local Hooters. It's superb and right around the corner from campus.
Every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night, the bars and clubs at the Bridge Street Town Center are just overflowing with beautiful girls. In general they are super friendly and very outgoing.
Milwaukee is full of friendly, friendly, friendly women, mostly of Scandinavian decent with pretty blue eyes, blond, red, or brunette hair. Summertime is the time to go - wintertime is too damn cold. There are tons of festivals during the summer and any spot along Lake Michigan (which looks more like an ocean to me) is just going to be great.
Surprisingly, this city is cool and sophisticated, with chic bars, lounges, and hotels.
Stay at the Intercontinental or the Phister Hotel. The former is modern and hip, the latter is old school and elegant. Both hotels will be recognized by the ladies in the city. To stay there gives you instead credibility.
There are three main areas downtown where you can meet and greet. The first is Water Street. Places like Water Street Brewery, Bar Louie, Trinity, Buffalo Wild Wings, Sullivans, Magilicutties, Brother, and Whiskey Bar are where the 18-23 crowd is. They are young, pretty, and fresh. But beware - bring your A-game. There are a lot of college guys here looking for the same thing you are, so be bold and be different.
The bars here are crowded, hot and the ratios aren’t the greatest, but you will be fine. Don’t forget how to “hit on the help”, who are gorgeous, friendly, and just plain awesome.
Old World Third Street is the next place you should hit up. Bootleggers, Buckhead, Buck Bradleys, Sweet, Apartment 720, and Sojo 7 are where you will find the ladies 23-28, who are in my opinion the best in the city. Like the proverbial Goldy Locks and the Three Bears, this area is “just right”.
Off the beaten path is a club called Decibel, a traditional nightclub which is lots of fun.
Jefferson Ave and Kilborn is where you will find lounges like Elsas, Mikeys, and Taylors with the 28-35 crowd. Taylors is known for their happy hours, where you can find the smoking hot young corporate executive who was transferred to Milwaukee from LA and initially hated the place, but now loves it.
Want to impress your new lady friend and have a great meal? Head to Bacchus, where the Bartolotta family keeps the food and the atmosphere charming and elegant. Umami Moto and Carnivore are other awesome places but be sure to leave room for desert following the amazing entrees.
Orlando is a kid's paradise with Disney World, Sea World, MGM Studios, Universal Studios, and Epcot Center all located here. It's a great place to go if you're a teenager trying to meet other teens living their Disney dream.
Fortunately, there are also plenty of good-looking Florida natives who work in all of these places during the summer. Epcot Center is my personal favorite because Disney flies in beautiful foreign girls to work its international pavilions in an effort to give Epcot's "world showcase" an atmosphere of authenticity.
Church Street Station is the place to be for weekend nighttime revelry. Makos is my absolute favorite. The beautiful bartenders, shot girls, beer tub girls, and swing girls are so fine. There's constant churn at this place; you hardly ever see the same girls month to month. Awesome. Bring you’re A-game: these girls get hit on constantly, so do something to set yourself apart.
For the regular girls, Chillers and Lattitudes right next door are good. Suite B is a cool lounge. If you want young, hip, pierced, and tattooed, head to Back Booth.
Even on non-weekend nights, you can usually find something going on in Downtown Orlando off of Church Street and Orange Ave. Follow the noise and the crowd and have a good time.
The University of Central Florida is here and the typical Thursday night is good by the university at places like Knight Club, Library and Scoop. There you will find all the beautiful Florida college coeds but be warned: these bars are very cliquey. Don’t be a pussy and roll-up. The Wing House by the university is also really good mostly during the school year, where most of the hot college girls will work for easy tips off of the patrons that worship them. The Hooters by the Orlando airport is usually good as well.
In the land of Disney, the strip clubs are pretty terrible. But in nearby Altamonte, Rachels is pretty decent. There you will find beautiful girls to hit on almost every day of the week.
Also close to Orlando is Lake Mary, Florida. The Tilted Kilt (yet another Hooters knock-off) has some beautiful waitresses. Like I keep saying - learn to hit on the help.
Gadsden, Alabama, USA. Small town. Confederate flag hanging from many of the homes. Not much to do out here besides fish and eat catfish. Cute red-neck girls out here due to a couple of smaller community colleges in the area. Lots of moms.
Live music is huge here. Just about every bar and club has a cover of about $10. By far the best girls will be found at a cool, hip lounge called Twisted at 504 Broad Street. You would never think a place this nice would be in the middle of Gadsden, Alabama, but it is and the girls LOVE IT. Go get 'em, Tiger.
The Chestnut Saloon has live music and cute country girls drinking at the bar, but it's loud and hard to talk at times. Dr. Feel Goodz is another place to meet the older single mother type ladies if that's your vibe. However, the club does tend to redeem itself with the jello wrestling contests. Another place to meet older single mother types is a tiny country bar with a big attitude, the Wagon Wheel. After hours, there is After Life, a members-only dance club open until 5am.
College Station is a veritably playground full of hot, corn-fed, country, college girls, with Texas-sized personalities. Texas A&M rules here, and it only makes sense to come during the school year.
North Gate (on College Main and University) is the center of the social universe outside of campus. There are tons of places to hang out and I will list more than a few of my favorites, but if you just show up and follow the noise, you will be fine.
The Corner (3 floors of fun), Antonino's (where everyone goes after the clubs for late-night pizza), Hookah Station Lounge and Night Club, the Foundation Room, the Social, Gatsby's (although sometimes they only let in people with college ID's), Kyoto Sushi (which goes from restaurant during the day to club at night), Logans, the Tipsy Turtle, Paddock Lane, O'Bannon's, Daisy Dukes (great kicker bar), Dry Bean saloon for shots, Dixie Chicken to chill, Mad Hatters, Cedar Lane, Draft Rebel House, Cafe Eccell (a pizza and wine bar) and La Bodega (a baja taco bar). Christine's, Veritas and Madden's (in Bryan, Texas - right next door) are all great places to bring a girl for dinner. You will surely impress.
If you are into flirting with the waitresses, for sure check out the Texas Road House Restaurant.
Washington DC is of course the capital of the United States of America, a big college town, and the city where even the President can get some, whenever he wants it. There are tons of international chicks here thanks to all the foreign embassies, which add some variety to the local mix. Consequently DC rivals New York for boasting the most international residents on the East Coast. The city is divided into four zones. If you don't want to get shot, stabbed, mugged, or do crack and run for Mayor, stick to the safe and fun-filled Northwest area of town. There is a good amount of YP here in DC. owing to the many universities in the area, such as Georgetown University, George Washington University, The University of Maryland and especially Northern Virginia Community College (NoVa for short) just South of D.C. in Annadale, Virginia. Check them out during the day. Most of the action is on M Street starting from around Wisconsin Ave heading East to Connecticut Ave. Third Edition on Winconsin along with Garret' and LuLu's on M Street, The Sports Bar***, Decades on 9th and E, and the Mad Hatter*** are usually good, as are the clubs in the "golden triangle". The best titty bar in the city is Camelots on M Street. The hottest dance club is Tracks on the corner of 1st and M Streets. But be careful. It's gay on some nights, so unless you want to be doing the Macarana with Bubba and friends, I suggest you ask ahead of time. Fifth Column on F Street, the Insect Club on E Street and the Z Club on Z Alley and the Spy Club on 15th Street are also excellent. These are the bars with the South American chicas, who really like to dance. Adams Morgan is a very international neighborhood with plenty of bars and restaurants in which to party, but the ratio tends to be poor. Check out Club Heaven and Hell on 18th Street for cheesy 80's dancing and horny 20-something girls. Head to the cafes and clubs on the Harbor for post-collegiate beauties who are looking for a man with a future. Try Sequoia, if you want to land a gold-digger and don't mind sharing a bar with Euro-fag assholes who pull up to the harbor in their daddy's yacht. You might expect all the YP to leave town, when school lets out for the summertime. Think again. The city is packed with senatorial want-to-be's interning on Capitol Hill for their congressman or some federal agency. And if fat, 60 year-old senators successfully hook up with these bright-eyed naive patriots, you should have no problem. There are plenty Of intern parties also, usually thrown by students from a particular school who are rooming together in a house North of M street in Georgetown ("the G-spot"). Word gets around pretty fast and these parties can be a blast. The Fourth of July in Washington, DC kicks ass with a huge party on the "mall", the big green lawn in the shadow of the Washington Monument. In nearby Reston Virginia, the place to be is Market Street. Clydes, Tap Room, Pizzaria Uno, and shops like BeBe are the places to find the Y.