November 9, 2021
If you're in New Jersey during the summertime, check out the beaches at Belmar, Long Beach Island, and Wildwood. There are always girls there on the weekends when the weather's hot. Belmar has the beautiful, guido-loving, collegiate types from North Jersey, while Wildwood and its infamous boardwalk tends to cater more towards families and a younger crowd.
All you men take note - all of the bars on the Jersey shore are cheesy as hell. So if you shave your chest, drive an "I-Roc", wear gold chains and call yourself "Vito", you will feel right at home.
Generally, the further south you go on the shore the less cheesy it becomes, but lately, the cheese has been spilling out as far south as Long Beach Island. The Shell on Engleside or the Katch are the only two places to really meet girls in Long Beach on summer weekends.
This is the preferred destination for spring break for the VERY young man - I’m talking high school students - especially around Barefoot Landing. Broadway is full of cheesy beach town stores and restaurants. It reminds me of the Jersey Shore a little bit.
For a more grown-up scene, try the Kryptonite (K Club) or the Tunnel on Friday and Saturday nights, or the Boat House early on Sundays in the summertime. The boaters and their hot wives, girlfriends, and daughters will be there late afternoon to late evening.
The best place to bring a date for an impressive dinner is Legrands - great wine list, food, and service.
There is a decent Hooters here and a few good strip clubs in this town: the Penthouse and Doll House have the hottest girls. All the same rules of hitting on strippers and the help apply here in Myrtle Beach, SC.
This is a small town just north of Houston. There are some cute girls here but it’s a small scene. Check out Pappas, Dalton’s (a kicker bar), Lava Lounge, Sam’s Boat and Shananigans on Sundays.
If you are in Maryland from June through August check out Ocean City. This beach town is a great place since tons of girls from the city and surrounding communities of Baltimore and Washington, DC flock here in droves in the summertime.
This place is as cheesy as the Jersey shore but more compact. Every summer this place is packed with high schoolers, big-haired Baltimore girls, and the like. They're all spread out on the 10 mile stretch of beach, but you only really need to hang out by the boardwalk.
Check out Seacrets on 49th for nighttime revelry.
After one views the oasis of women in Dallas and Austin, the traveling gentleman would expect to find women of similar quality in Houston. There may be an equal number of good-looking girls in all of these cities, but a large proportion of the ones in Houston work in strip clubs. From a statistical standpoint, Houston tops Atlanta and Phoenix by distinguishing itself as having the greatest number of strip clubs per capita of any major city in the United States. These aren't tiny, seedy joints either. These clubs are enormous with multiple floors, wide-open spaces, and huge VIP rooms.
I mention this because it's oftentimes more fruitful to spend your time hitting on the dancers in their native environment, rather than when they are out with their friends on the weekend and don't want to deal with men who aren't feeding them $20 bills.
For the best strip clubs in Houston, head to Treasures (code name Big T) and the Men's Club (code name TMC) in the Galleria area, or St. James (code name Church) on the north side of town by Bush Intercontinental Airport. The girls are very friendly and give great dances. These clubs are where you'll have the best chance of picking up some digits. Get to know the managers here if you can, to get hooked up with free drinks and VIP.
Outside of the strip clubs, most Houstonian women congregate around the multitude of bars and clubs in mid-town, downtown and the Heights - Eight, Taps, Rayne, Manor, Benjy’s, Rare, Mo’s, Rich’s, Nox, Diem, Red Door Kung Fu Cafe, Blue Label, and Hugh's Hanger. Downtown Houston was the bomb years ago, but now, not so much. There are a few places to hang though: Flying Saucer is always packed with dude macking on the cute waitresses in kilts. Venue is a cool dance club that's only open on the weekends. The waitresses are pretty, as is the occasional patron. After-hours it's Club 1815 that brings in all the girls.
After after-hours, head to Mai's Restaurant to chow down on some awesome Vietnamese food and sober up with all of the other late-night party people who are there doing the same thing. Food makes drunk people happy, so this may be your last chance to meet someone until the next time out.
During the day, check out the Galleria, the big shopping district in town. There is one to match this one in Dallas further North.
Alternatively, check out Rice Village by the University of the same name, on a Saturday afternoon. The University of Houston, Rice University, and Houston Community College supplies the city with college girls, so check them out if you have the chance.
If you happen to be in Houston in the spring, don't miss Buzz Fest in the Woodlands, where all the festie girls go to listen to music at the Woodlands Pavilion after smoking weed and drinking in the parking lot. When it's not festival time in The Woodlands, the place to hang out from Thursday to Saturday night is the Market Street area. Bar Louie's, Bakers Street, etc. will get the job done.
Are you into healthy, tree-hugging granola chicks? Then head to the Whole Foods on Dallas and Waugh in midtown. There's a bar there and usually some pretty, professional, health-conscious girls shopping right after work or the gym.
If you are into the kicker bar scene (and what self-respecting PB doesn’t love hot Southern girls in Daisy Dukes?), head to Wild West on Richmond or Big Texas on the south side of town. For whatever reason, Wednesdays are the nights for kicker bars in Texas. Get out there and dance, my friends. The ladies love it.
Down south of Houston you will find the small city of Webster, Texas. Here you will find the best prospects in the Houston area. Hooters and Twin Peaks (both at Nasa Road 1 and I-45 South) have the prettiest waitresses in Houston on any given night. But be careful, it is cliquey down here. If you didn't grow up here and know everyone in the town since high school, you have to be aggressive or have a referral from someone they know and feel safe with. Otherwise, if you want to be successful with the ladies down here, you will have to put in the time.
BARS + 📸
Georgia is home to some fine-looking women, especially in Atlanta. According to US census data, there are almost three times as many women as men between the ages of 18 and 30 who live in this city. Now that's a great ratio.
There are also tons of college girls in Atlanta being that universities such as Georgia Tech, Emory, Moorehouse, and Spelman Universities are located here.
Since "Hotlanta" is the financial capital of the southern United States, it's extremely international by Southern standards, so you'll have no trouble finding all sorts of different people to spend your time with here.
The best neighborhoods for nightlife are the bars and clubs in Buckhead on the corners of Peachtree and Buckhead Avenues and Little Five Points or Virginia-Highland on the corner of North Highland and Virginia Avenues. Buckhead is packed with clubs and restaurants that tend to cater to the post-collegiate working girls, although on the weekends the crowd skews a little younger.
Students tend to hang out at Little Five Points or Virginia-Highland, where the bars are a little more mellow and the beer a lot cheaper. A lot of students just come here to relax, but on Thursdays especially, the bars in this area can be happening. Try Blind Willie's on Highland Avenue for a start.
The big mall here is a place called Underground Atlanta. It has a few good bars on Kenny's Alley and places to eat, but lately, it's been getting a bad wrap for being in an "unsafe" area of town and thus has lost a lot of patronage to Buckhead and Little Five Points and Virginia-Highland. At least there's a Hooters?
About 30 miles north of Atlanta is a place called Alpharetta, Georgia (total suburban America), and there are some pretty women. The Hooters and Village Tavern out here are pretty damn awesome, and people tend to be way less full of themselves up here. Definitely more chill down-home girls.
San Diego is an awesome city. There are tons of beautiful girls here - Playbody is constantly at the local universities recruiting girls to do pictorials for college editions. The bad news is the girls in San Diego tend to date the same guy for years, which can be incredibly frustrating (unless you're him). They don't even go out all that often and give the rest of us a chance. It's not like there's a paucity of bars and clubs, either. San Diego is just one of those places inhabited by a bunch of early-to-bed, early-to-rise kind of people - except on the weekends.
Pacific Beach and Mission Beach are the collegiate, surfer, and military hangouts. La Jolla (pronounced La Hoya, for those of you who flunked high school Spanish and don't want to make an ass out of yourself) is wealthier and boring, but beautiful. Downtown is where it's at, and therefore where you should be! The Gas Lamp District downtown is freakin' awesome. It's and just a short taxi ride from the airport. Stay at the Hard Rock Hotel or the W Hotel - that is where all the beautiful people go.
Girls at the clubs here are similar quality to the ones in LA, but way less pretentious and easily approachable. Look good and dress well down here. Most everyone is fashion conscious since Hollywood is just up the road.
Stingaree, Fleetwood, Basic, La Puerta, Side Bar, and Fluxx are some of my favorite places to meet the ladies. Not sure where to go or what's hot? Just walk up and down Market, G, and F Streets and follow the noise and you will be fine. Check out the Hooters down here. Usually, there's some pretty decent talent.
Pacific Beach, referred affectionately as "PB" by the locals is a perfect place for you to practice your game. The most action in PB is on Garnet. Two huge bars dominate the scene - PB Bar and Grill and Typhoon Saloon. Get there early or be prepared to wait in line. Fred's Mexican Cafe is next door to the Typhoon if you're looking for some decent Mexican food. Check out Bob's Dive, Sinbad Cafe (which is a hooka bar that attracts groups of hot girls), or Cabo Cantina. Tavern on the Beach and Plum Crazy usually has hot girls inside, so it might be worth your time. Society is a billiards place to chill after you have met the cutie you've been looking for. Finally, Millers Field is a cool sports bar filled with girls who are way laid back and cool.
During the day, hang out on the campus of SDSU and check out the boardwalks of Mission and Pacific Beaches after 5:00 pm when the babes come out to work out. Run, bike, or rollerblade and be bold in your approach. The boardwalk is not a place for the shy and timid, it's quite difficult to strike up a conversation with someone who's riding a bike past you! Mouse's on Mission Beach offers a nice vantage point to plan your approach.
Come nighttime on Mission Beach, check out Club Tremors on Garnet and Club Sevilla. There are usually some good-looking women out and about at these places. Be careful: a lot of the women here have military boyfriends or husbands, as there is a huge US Navy base close by. You may have your wrap rudely interrupted by a pissed-off, testosterone-filled soldier who's ready to kick your ass. You may run across a "West Pac Widow", which is a wife of a navy man who is overseas for months at a time in the South Pacific. I tend to avoid the West Pac Widows - it's bad karma to try to get with a soldier's wife.
Another good thing about San Diego is that Tijuana, Mexico is just south of here. There is some serious partying that goes on across the border. The party-goers tend to be kids from San Diego who are under the US legal drinking age and are very intent on taking advantage of the fact that in Mexico if you are old enough to walk (even if you're already drunk), you are old enough to buy alcohol. But beware - don't give money to all the little kids with dirt-smudged, adorable faces selling gum or candy. Unknowing tourists can't help but shove money at them. They make a killing. Don't believe me? Watch one of those little con artists for 15 minutes and see how much money they rake in, it's incredible.
Drunk partiers who piss off Mexican police or bar proprietors have been known to get their asses tossed in jail without trial and have to pay ridiculous bribes to city officials to get out, so be careful down here! Worse yet, if you look at all Mexican you will get a load of shit when you try to come back into the United States, I guarantee it. The border police are dumb as shit, and they like to act like badasses and mess with all the returning party-goers. Don't give them a reason to mess with you. Don't give them the satisfaction. Believe me. I speak from personal experience.
I remember the time I went to Tijuana with my buddies. Being a darkie, I was paranoid that I was going to get harassed by the border patrol when I tried to get back into the country. Sure enough, even after seeing my passport, my license, and my medical school ID, they still brought me to stand before the man, as my buddies (and my brother who looks just like me) were waved through with a nod. I was accused of trying to smuggle steroids into the country and was invasively patted down. When I protested my terrible treatment, as I was leaving the agent said "I am the US border patrol. I can go inside you if I want." Now that's a God complex. Needless to say, I was out of there in a hurry and promised myself that I had just made my last trip to Tijuana. It totally wasn't worth the danger and the hassle.