September 27, 2021
What can I say about this country. WOW! The most beautiful women I have ever seen in my life, live here. Let me say that again. The most beautiful women I have ever seen in my life live in this country. I have no idea what they feed the women there, but whatever it is, we need to figure out how to bottle and sell it. I literally was falling in love every 30 seconds walking around the capital of Kiev or the beach town of Odessa. One problem though—they are NOT friendly at all. This country existed behind the “Iron Curtain” for decades and as such they are very wary of strangers, foreigners and people that they don’t know in general. And if you don’t speak Russian or Ukrainian, you may be shit out of luck. The girls by the Universities sometimes do speak English and of course the pros always speak well enough English to communicate with you. One thing I really love about the Ukraine, is that the women here really put their best foot forward at all times. They may not be very wealthy, but they are stylish. They may only have two nice dresses or outfits and one nice pair of high heels, but they will wear them every day, wash them that night and wear them again the next day. There isn’t a tattoo, bad piercing or pair of jeans and a sweatshirt anywhere within a thousand miles of this place. All self-respecting Ukrainian women are in high heels and dresses with perfect hair and makeup—every damn day. It’s just awesome. This country is hell cold and grey most of the year, so go in the spring or summer when the girls are wearing less clothing and are in better moods because of the weather. Walking around the main promenade in Kiev with provide you with more than enough eye candy. Beneath these streets are underground malls, where again you will find more than enough reasons to get whip lash. Odessa in the summer time is a must. There is a promenade by the Black Sea, which is lined with bars and clubs—my favorite of which is called Ibiza. I am telling you that from Wednesday through Saturday, it is as good or better than Miami, when I lived there in the hey days from 2000 to 2003. Unbelievable, outrageous, incredible are the only words I can use to describe the women, BUT you are going to have challenges communicating and BE PERSISTENT! Like the Russian girls, the women expect you to be a man. If you like a girl—try, try and try again to see if she will eventually give you the time of day. Eastern Europe (the rest of it) As you will discover if you visit Russia, Ukraine, Czech Republic and Hungary that the women here are gorgeous but can be pains in the asses. For a little change of pace from the more westernized countries of Eastern Europe try the rest of this area of the world, which is less traveled by foreign PB’s. Polish women are gorgeous and Poznan, the college town equivalent of Austin, TX, is full of them. Early September each year the place is packed with newbies looking for new boyfriends. Bratislava in Slovakia anytime of year is good. Maribor is the Slovakia’s Gainesvilles, FL. Just awesome. Zagreb in Croatia is worth a look see, but Latvia may be better. Lavian and Lithuanian men, are sparse as compared to other areas of Eastern Europe, due to war, so the ratios are always excellent. And Romania is rumored to be the second easiest place in Eastern Europe to get laid—after Russia.
If you are there in the summer time, head south of Budapest to check out Lake Balaton, a favorite vacation spot for the Hungarians. Yes, there are beautiful half-naked Hungarian babes here— sun bathing and frolicking in the water. After a visit to this Hungarian, summer wonderland of YP, there will be no doubt in your mind why the Soviets gave up East Germany so quickly and hung onto Hungary as long as they could. Siofok is the largest beach town and where you are likely to run into some seriously fine Hungarian Y on the beach during the day and the multitude of bars and clubs that line the waterfront. Reminds me very much of the beach towns in Argentina. Checkout Keszthely, if you're sick of Siofok and find yourself wanting to linger longer.
Hungary hands down has the most beautiful women in Eastern Europe, and like the Czech Republic, there as a great variety of women to choose from. It's hard to type cast the typical Hungarian babe. She comes in all shapes and sizes and a few different hair colors. In fact about the only thing they have in common is that they tend to be very beautiful. Many have incredible bodies that rival the women of Spain and Holland, and damn sexy accents. (I have many Australian PB friends of mine who swear by them.) Fortunately, many of the young people in Hungary speak English, because they can make money off of the millions of tourists who visit their country each year, if they do. And thank God they do. Their language is as hard to learn as the Asian languages to someone who is used to speaking English or one of the Latin-derived, Romance languages. If you speak German you are stoked, as almost everyone considers this the second language of Hungary, although soon to be overtaken by English. Following the Soviet occupation, which ended in 1989, the Hungarians found themselves almost totally and completely dependent on tourism to support their economy and obtain cold, hard, western currency. Thousands of businessmen from the West infiltrated this country looking for opportunities to make money in subsequent years, and they found them. A walk through downtown Budapest would convince anyone that McDonalds, Coca Cola and MTV have taken over this part of the world. Consequently, resentment grew among the Hungarians who felt that the infiltration of Western culture, language and business into their country was bad for the Hungarian people. It's a catch 22; They realize that they need the West in order to prosper economically in the future, but they resent the fact that they do and wish they could reclaim their country and cultural identity from the multitude of foreigners who have come here. You may ask what the hell this has to do with you. Well, this attitude may effect you in your efforts to hook up in Hungary. Be sympathetic and understanding, but not dickless. This will get you rankled. Don't cop a "Don't you wish you were me" attitude with the Hungarian chicks. (This goes for the Czech chicks as well, jerky.) As in the Czech Republic, there are often two prices for goods and services in this country— one, which the locals pay and another, which the tourists pay. That gets to be annoying after a while, especially in the bars and restaurants. But it is still cheap as hell to eat, sleep and party. Ice cream and vodka practically cost pennies in Hungary. That's about the only beneficial legacy of the Soviet occupation. They kept the price of these items low to keep the masses happy. It's amazing what dessert, a good buzz and a few divisions of armored tanks can do to keep people smiling. The only big city worth going to in Hungary is Budapest. Most of the best places to be are on the cosmopolitan Pest side of the Danube River in Districts 5 and 6, although there are very good places to hang out in other districts. The daytime babe watching can be done in the shopping districts of Vaci Utca and Vorosmarty. This place does not have the outrageous party atmosphere that many other larger cities further west do, however if you ask the locals and keep your eyes and ears open, you will be sure to find some honeys hanging at a few of Budapest's favorite nocturnal haunts. Oh, and don't worry about finding accommodations. The hucksters practically assault you as soon as you get off the train. Their job is to find you a place to stay. If you are here in the summer you may find yourself staying at one of the universities whose dormitories double as youth hostels from late June through August. There is sure to be some Hungarian Y around. Get to know them and ask where everyone's going. The best bars and clubs to hang out early evening are Cafe Mediterran and Incognito on Liszt Ferenc Ter and the Irish Cat and Museum Cukraszada on Museum Korut. Later head to Morrison's Music Pub on Revay ut, Yes on Hegedus Gyola utca, Alkotas Presszo on Alkotas ut and the seedy titty bar/whore house Barbados on Vaci utca in District 5. Late night on a weekend you have to check out Tilos on Mikszath Kalman ter, Bahahof and Dreher Jakekterem on Vaci ut in District 13, Bamboo on Dessewfly utca, Hully Gully on Apor Vilmos ter and Aztec on Mozsai" utca. Just a quick note; definitely do not miss the world famous Hungarian bath houses. These places, like their Japanese rivals, are unbelievable. As in any city in Eastern Europe, be careful when riding in a cab. The cab drivers are notorious for taking dumb, drunk foreigners for a ride to rid them of the forints that are basically worthless outside of this country's borders. Also as in other Eastern European countries there is organized Mafia who tends to frequent many of the clubs here in Budapest. Although formidable at times, these guys pale in comparison to their counterparts and mentors in Los Angeles, Miami or New York City. Try not to piss them off just the same. I here Hungarian prisons are just about as charming as those in Mexico.
I love this country. The food is good. Capitalism is thriving. The women are hot. And since the dudes here don’t take any shit from their women, they are generally well-mannered and well-behaved. There are an extra-ordinary number of professional women here. To meet the non-professionals you will have to brush up on your Russian before you come. You will definitely need it. Tveriskia is one of the main streets here and it leads to Red Square. You will see more Beamers and Mercedes here than anywhere else on earth. And the nicest Ferrari store anywhere in the world—Lenin must be turning over in his grave. They are literally hanging from the rafters. There are lots of Western Hotels here, where there are English Speaking staff, which you can often times hire privately to go out with you and help you translate with the ladies. Just make sure he or she is young, cool and into the ladies like you are. Just walking around the town will give you more than ample opportunity to try out your Russian with the local women. Don’t be shy. They expect you to be bold and daring! Just don’t piss off any of the local, mafia-looking guys in the black suites who even have the remotest of chances to be with the chick you are talking to. There are no fights in Russia. Guys just know to walk away or risk getting killed. For the pros, Night Flight has been around forever and is the standard when it comes to professional women in Moscow. Smoking hot, dressed to the nines and set to prey on the hundreds of foreign businessmen who come here every week. Wear a jacket and tie or risk looking like a jack ass. Alternatively you can stay or hang out at the Hilton in Red Square, where the pros are around all of the time and more than willing to help take your mind off of the hard day of getting rejected by the local girls.
There are some damn beautiful women here— definitely not what I expected to find behind the former Soviet Union's "iron curtain". Your mission, should you choose to accept it is to find out what's under that Czech girl's red dress. Czech it out, Beavis! In the Czech Republic you will find a good variety of YP. There are red-heads, blondes and brunets— all with cool accents who say things like, "Vere are you from? and Vould you like to runkle?" Speaking of accents, I'll mention now that Prague is really the only city in the Czech Republic where you can find hot, young women who can speak English, and many of them have unbelievable breasts. Now that is a bouncing Czech, I don't mind! The problem with the Czech Republic is that it is full of joker, want-to-be-flower-children, never-worked-a-day-in-my-life, I-want-to-go to Prague-and-find-myself Americans who moved here when Communism fell in 1989 following the revolution that took place here. They were drawn by the high standard of living at a low price and haven't left since. They call themselves YAP's for Young Americans in Prague—though Young Aimless Faggophiles might be more appropriate. Fortunately, these guys haven't totally ruined the image some Czech chicks have of foreign men, yet. But they are damn close, especially since these so called match maker agencies popped up here following the Soviet occupation, as they did in Russia. These agencies offer to find you a Czech or Russian wife for a fee. They actually have whole catalogs full of pictures and biographies of women, who basically will marry any foreign squid to get out of Eastern Europe and be able to live and work in a wealthier western country. Although things aren't as cheap as they used to be, Prague has the unique combination of great women and great beer. In fact, most serious beer drinkers will tell you that the beer in the Czech Republic is cheaper and better than anywhere else in the world, even Germany. This in and of itself is enough of a reason to Czech it out. If you like to stand around a bar to drink and hit on beautiful, Eastern European women, you will be as happy as the clam you hopefully will be getting. The best places to go in Prague during the day are the Charles Bridge, Old Town, Jan Hus, Vaclavske nam and Na prikope which are the big pedestrian, entertainment and shopping districts. You may not like this scene if your not into not into that hippie-want-to-be, Generation X crap, but it's worth a look-see. Prague is a nice-looking city, because it escaped the ravages of WWII and preserved much of its architecture. Prague's nightlife is hampered by the fact that many of the clubs here open and close at a blink of an eye depending on what various city officials think of the owner or its clientele, or more accurately, how much the owner is willing to bribe the official to keep him from shutting the club down. Since I'm no^into tie-dye, singing around a campfire, talking about Marx or hitting on ugly American girls (I got enough of that at Harvard), many of Prague's YAPpy bars and hangouts just don't do it for me. Much of Prague's night life centers on Nam Republiky and Norodni Tr. Try Jam on Stefanikoua, Jo's Bar on Malostranske Namesto, Slovanska Hospoda on Na prikope or Europa Cafe on Vaclavske Namesti early on. My favorite place to go is the Bunkr on Lodeckra. Therein lies some fine local and foreign booty. Try your luck at Radost FX on Belehradska, a fancy-smantsy club for this part of the world, Lavka on Gula Gula Club on Betlemske nam or the Roxy on Dlouha.