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GOD DAMN FACTOR

There are a lot of great things about this city, but by far my two favorites are that there are beautiful women here and it's cheap as hell to eat, sleep, and party. Many believe that Portuguese women are as beautiful as the neighboring Spanish, so I doubt you'll be disappointed when visiting. English is not spoken widely except in Algarve, but if you do OK with your Spanish, the locals will probably understand you.

Most of the Portuguese population is centered in Lisbon, but in the summertime, the favorite destination for international partygoers is definitely further south.

Here's some helpful advice: remember your manners when visiting Portugal. Portuguese men are often just as aggressive as Italians. Lots of times they get their kicks out of groping strange women in bars and clubs, which is why some Portuguese women avoid the club scene and men they don't know altogether. If you come off like a nice guy, you may get a better response. Like any other country, if you head out of the big cities where people all mistrust each other (especially foreigners) into the smaller towns, you will find more friendly and occasionally more beautiful women. If you have the opportunity to go exploring with a local who knows the area, do so and satisfy your curiosity.

Lisbon is the capital of Portugal. It's a big, crowded, dirty city with poor public transportation. Skip the sightseeing and save your strength for nighttime revelry.

Speaking of your strength, you can replenish your body's glycogen stores and the vitamins and minerals you pissed away following those bouts of drunkenness in Spain by eating some damn good food here in Lisbon. Restaurants are ridiculously cheap here, especially in Alfama, where local seafood dishes will make you forget about all of the skipped meals you had to endure in Paris. Avoid the touristy areas where restaurants charge inflated prices in exchange for the English-speaking staff and international menus and head off to the restaurants the locals frequent. The food and prices will be much better, although you may have to physically go into the kitchen and point to what you what, if you can't decipher the menu, or the waitress can't understand what the hell you are saying.

Lisbon comes alive in June with its numerous festivals and night fairs. It's a great time to meet the local girls while they're happy to be off from school and the summer is just starting.

There was a beer festival down by the port while I was here one year. It didn't compare to the sickness of Octoberfest, but all the same European beers were featured. It was something like $1.50 to gain entry, get a beer glass, and your first beer. After that, it was about $0.75 a beer. Needless to say, everybody got sloppy drunk and great times were had.

Most of the best women in this city can be found in the Bairro Alto. Walk along Rua do Carmo and Rua do Garrett to check out the babes shopping during the day.

Come nightfall, the streets in and around the Rua do Norte, Rua da Atalaia, and the Rua Diario de Noticias are the places to be. Every summer someone else decides what's hot. As in San Sebastian and Lagos, most all the nightlife is central and easily accessible, so follow the noise and check to see where the chicas are.

The best dance clubs and bars in the city include La Folie Discoteca, Tres Pastorinhos and Cena de Copos on Rua da Barroca.

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Lisbon, Portugal

November 10, 2021

8.0

God Damn Factor

There are a lot of great things about this city, but by far my two favorites are that there are beautiful women here and it's cheap as hell to eat, sleep, and party. Many believe that Portuguese women are as beautiful as the neighboring Spanish, so I doubt you'll be disappointed when visiting. English is not spoken widely except in Algarve, but if you do OK with your Spanish, the locals will probably understand you.

Most of the Portuguese population is centered in Lisbon, but in the summertime, the favorite destination for international partygoers is definitely further south.

Here's some helpful advice: remember your manners when visiting Portugal. Portuguese men are often just as aggressive as Italians. Lots of times they get their kicks out of groping strange women in bars and clubs, which is why some Portuguese women avoid the club scene and men they don't know altogether. If you come off like a nice guy, you may get a better response. Like any other country, if you head out of the big cities where people all mistrust each other (especially foreigners) into the smaller towns, you will find more friendly and occasionally more beautiful women. If you have the opportunity to go exploring with a local who knows the area, do so and satisfy your curiosity.

Lisbon is the capital of Portugal. It's a big, crowded, dirty city with poor public transportation. Skip the sightseeing and save your strength for nighttime revelry.

Speaking of your strength, you can replenish your body's glycogen stores and the vitamins and minerals you pissed away following those bouts of drunkenness in Spain by eating some damn good food here in Lisbon. Restaurants are ridiculously cheap here, especially in Alfama, where local seafood dishes will make you forget about all of the skipped meals you had to endure in Paris. Avoid the touristy areas where restaurants charge inflated prices in exchange for the English-speaking staff and international menus and head off to the restaurants the locals frequent. The food and prices will be much better, although you may have to physically go into the kitchen and point to what you what, if you can't decipher the menu, or the waitress can't understand what the hell you are saying.

Lisbon comes alive in June with its numerous festivals and night fairs. It's a great time to meet the local girls while they're happy to be off from school and the summer is just starting.

There was a beer festival down by the port while I was here one year. It didn't compare to the sickness of Octoberfest, but all the same European beers were featured. It was something like $1.50 to gain entry, get a beer glass, and your first beer. After that, it was about $0.75 a beer. Needless to say, everybody got sloppy drunk and great times were had.

Most of the best women in this city can be found in the Bairro Alto. Walk along Rua do Carmo and Rua do Garrett to check out the babes shopping during the day.

Come nightfall, the streets in and around the Rua do Norte, Rua da Atalaia, and the Rua Diario de Noticias are the places to be. Every summer someone else decides what's hot. As in San Sebastian and Lagos, most all the nightlife is central and easily accessible, so follow the noise and check to see where the chicas are.

The best dance clubs and bars in the city include La Folie Discoteca, Tres Pastorinhos and Cena de Copos on Rua da Barroca.

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San Sebastián, Spain

November 15, 2021

9.5

The Doctor

I'll never forget what a friend told me when I asked him about European women just prior to my first trip to that continent: "the most beautiful women in Europe are in Spain, and the most beautiful women in Spain are in Northern Spain." Boy was he right.

I'll never forget my first day in San Sebastián, the summer resort capital of the Basque Province. I took the fast train down from Paris with two girls from New York City. We checked into the youth hostel and hurried to La Concha, the famed beach here in San Sebastian, to catch the last rays of sun before the day's end and to see what everyone was ranting and raving about. As we stood on the edge of the beach, I looked out upon what I thought had to be paradise. One of the girls said to me, "I have never seen so many beautiful women in one place in my entire life!" I didn't respond to her comment with any more than a stunned grunt, because she was totally right. The Basque women possess a natural beauty that's obvious to anyone who's visited this region on the border of Spain and France. I know if I grew up here would have never left that beach

Aside from the women, the place just looks like paradise. From a single vantage point on La Concha, you can actually see the beach to the north, mountains to the northwest, rolling hills and farmland to the southwest, a completely modern city directly to the south, the River Urumea to the east, and the Parte Vieja with its classic cobble stone streets, old buildings, museums and statues to the northeast. On top of all that, the food is great, the wine is the best in all of Spain due to its proximity to the French wine country, and this place absolutely rocks come nightfall. In fact, the only bad thing you could ever say about this place is that it rains too much because of those damn weather systems coming off the south of England. Bloody Brits.

The nocturnal action centers around the Calle de San Fermin in the Parte Vieja. Yes, this is named after the same guy as Pamplona's festival - he has got to be Spain's favorite saint. The atmosphere here is incredible. The place is crowded with both old and young until about 12 am, especially in the summertime. Afterward, the hot girls show up. At last count, there were something like 40 different bars and restaurants on this street and most every one of them is good. You can actually leave a bar with a drink in hand, walk down the street while finishing it, put it down at the next bar and get a refill. Since most of the bars use the same glassware, the bartenders don't care. In the US you get yelled at if you even take one sip out of the Big Gulp and try to pour yourself some more!

La Piscina on Calle San Martin, Iguana on Calle San Jeronimo, Ezpalda on Calle Pescaderia and Keope on Calle Anoeta are the best discotecs in town. The university is also worth checking out if you're here during the academic year, but DO NOT come here in August, when tourists are literally everywhere.

Alicante, Spain

October 29, 2021

9

The Doctor

Alicante is a small university town with a beach, a great combination! The best beach is the Playa de Sant Joan, which is actually just outside of town. Although El Postiguet and its boardwalk, Esplanada d'Espanya, are close, my advice is to skip them as they tend to be full of annoying tourists and families.

The nightlife centers in El Bario around the Cathedral. Calle Mayor and its side streets are loaded with bars, some of which are pretty cool but incredibly small. Try Buggati on Calle Sant Ferran late at night.

I prefer Alicante in the late spring while school is still in session and the babes haven't headed off for Ibiza or the Costa del Sol. Trust me on this one— you definitely want to check out the university if you are here during the academic year. Oh, the babes!

If you're here during the summer, there is a special train that runs late connecting downtown Alicante with the hot spots on the Playa de Sant Joan, which tends to be much more fun when school is out. Head to Avenue Niza and Avenue de la Condomina for the discos. Marmarela Mediterranean Cocktail Club, Copity, and Havana Castaños are excellent.

Marbella, Spain

November 10, 2021

9.5

The Doctor

The Costa del Sol is kind of like the Jersey Shore. If you've ever been to this area of the US you'll know what I mean. As Lionel Richie might say, "It's cheesy like Sunday morning." This place is not for the lactose intolerant!

Nonetheless, Marbella and the Costa del Sol attracts sun-worshipping Scandinavians, Spaniards, and other Europeans year after year. If you look good in a bathing suit, you will really do well here. After a few minutes on any Spanish beach, you will realize why you had so much trouble trying to find a weight room in Seville; Spanish men do not work out. If you've got some pecs, blonde hair, and a six-pack, you may find a group of Spanish or European girls looking over at you, whispering to each other and checking you out. But remember, no proper Spanish girl will ever approach a man she doesn't know. However, when they congregate into little groups, their collective testosterone may be enough for them to muster up the courage to say hello. You'll have to do the work from then on and run the sortie.

There's a lot less attitude here as compared to places like Ibiza and a lot more people like you who just want to get tan, drink, hang out, and have a good time.

Hotels are expensive here, so stay at hostels. My favorite is Hostel del Pilar on Calle Mensoncillo. There you will find the best group of young adults in all of Marbella. Everyone here wants to have a good time. It's located in the old town where there are lots of bars and old cobblestone streets which remind me of South Street Seaport in New York but acts like South Beach, Miami, Florida.

Here's what you do: From 10 pm to midnight, head to the bars around the Puerto Deportivo. From midnight to 3 am head to the small bars and discos down by the waterfront by the Old Marbella Piers. If you want, head to the next town over, Porta Venus (about $10US for a taxi ride), and to the bars by its peer. Here you'll find an older and more expensive scene, but the babes abound. From 3 am to 9 am head to the biggest and best disco "Old Marbella" located in a huge hotel. This is the place. There are tons and tons of people here ready to dance and grind the night away, and a private beach to boot!

Groningen, Netherlands

November 8, 2021

8.5

The Doctor

In addition to being home to one of Holland's most popular universities, Groningen is a 'hang out in a bar, drink cheap beer, and hit on tall Dutch girls' kind of place. The main buildings of the university are just off of Academie Broer and Oude Boteringestraat. Head here during the day, walk in any direction and you are likely to run into a branch of the university since it is disjointedly spread out all over the city

All of the good bars, and I mean all of them, are on Poelestraat and Peperstraat just off of the city's main square. Go door to door to check each one out, and settle down where you find the best vibe.

The students mostly head home for the weekends, and since this is basically a university town, be sure to visit during the week.

As in most college towns, Thursday night is best. Plan your itinerary accordingly, unless you want to spend your time with the big-haired locals that take over the bar scene on the weekends.

Herestraat is the main street while runs right through the city center. It's packed with stores, places to eat, and places to meet beautiful girls from Northern Holland.

When it's warm outside, there are carnivals and outdoor markets in Vismarkt just west of here. Definitely be sure to check them out. There are an awful lot of mighty fine Dutch girls walking around.

Biarritz, France

November 1, 2021

9.5

The Doctor

The Basque Country extends from northern Spain into the southwest region of France and includes the city of Biarritz. I could rave for days about the beauty of this region, but I'll be brief here.

Biarritz is a cozy little beach town with some great surf to be conquered in its waters and some beautiful women to meet on its shores. This explains why so many California ex-pats have immigrated here.

The women here are just as beautiful as the Basques across the French border. Beautiful, friendly women, warm weather, and great nightlife. What more could you ask for?

Check out the bars and clubs on the Rue de Port Vieux, Rue Mazagran, and Avenue de Verdun and their side streets when night falls. You may never go home.

Milano, Italy

November 10, 2021

8.5

The Doctor

Perhaps most beautiful women in Italy live and work in cosmopolitan Milan, especially in the summer when the modeling season is in high gear. Milan is a pretentious place though, and it can be dangerous. But the babes can be outrageous!

During the day, check out Mesopotamia and its designer shops. Therein lie plenty of gals moonlighting from their preferred modeling careers.

Be sure to check out the Cathedral, the first mall in the world to be built entirely under a glass dome.

This city is quiet in the summertime unless you know anyone involved in the modeling industry and can get into private parties thrown here at all the Mafioso clubs in this town. That's because the local honeys generally escape the heat and humidity by heading to the beach.

The best nightlife in Milan can be found in the Porta Ticinese and Piazza Vetra early evening and on the Via Brera late at night. But bring a lot of money if you want to prowl the nightlife here, it's expensive. Try Madame Claude on Via Borgogna, New Zimba on Via Natale Battaglia, Plastic on Viale Umbria, or Open House on Via Carducci for a start.