November 10, 2021
The best time to be in Munich is during Octoberfest, not only to hit on beautiful German girls, but to hit on the beautiful foreign tourists who come here every year. Who knows why, but Octoberfest usually begins in September and lasts 16 days. The exact dates change year to year so be sure to check your calendar before planning your itinerary. But be forewarned. Drinking beer is mainly a guy thing to do, even during Octoberfest, or rather especially during Octoberfest, so don't expect loads of women lining up to be wooed by you - the ratios aren't great.
The Haufbrau tent is the best place to meet the chicas since you can actually walk around as you like with a beer in hand - something you can't do at some of the other tents, where they won't even serve you unless you are sitting at a table. Head to a club called the Hippodrome just a short stagger away, where the drunken go to party late at night, which for the Germans means until 1:00 am.
Surprisingly enough, this place looks like animal house meets Disneyland, since between all of the beer tents there are things like roller coasters and Ferris wheels to tempt the inebriated. It brought back memories of the very first time I got drunk. I was 13 years old. My buddies thought that it would be really funny to take me to the local playground, bounce me up and down on the see-saw and hang me upside-down on the monkey bars until I puked.
You don't have to come here during Octoberfest to drink beer. At any time there are loads of people who flock to the popular watering holes here in Munich. The best places to drink are the Lawenbrau Keller on Nymphenburgerstrabe and the Hofbrauhaus in the Am Platz. At the Hofbrauhaus, you'll probably have your best shot at meeting the hundreds of foreign tourists that are here in this city at any given time.
Personally, my favorite German brew is Augustiner. You can get some at their beer hall on Arnulfstrabe.
Much of the best nightlife centers around Leopoldstrabe. The university is located in Schwabing, a suburb of Munich located west of the Englischer Garden. For the guy in search of attractive German coeds, your best bet is to check around Munchener Freiheit. Nachtwerk on Landesbergerstrabe is probably the best club around here on the weekends. The largest club in Munich is actually an old airport, which was converted to a concert hall/dance club. It's called Flughafen Riem on Togingerstrabe, and it has three main sections, all of which can accommodate several thousand people. Right next to it is a club called Ultraschall which opens when the Reim closes, so if you're the kind of person who likes to party German-style, while the rest of the country is attending church, this is the place for you.
The Park Cafe on Sophienstrabe, like the one in Copenhagen, is pretty cool on the weekends for something more lowkey.
In addition to being home to one of Holland's most popular universities, Groningen is a 'hang out in a bar, drink cheap beer, and hit on tall Dutch girls' kind of place. The main buildings of the university are just off of Academie Broer and Oude Boteringestraat. Head here during the day, walk in any direction and you are likely to run into a branch of the university since it is disjointedly spread out all over the city
All of the good bars, and I mean all of them, are on Poelestraat and Peperstraat just off of the city's main square. Go door to door to check each one out, and settle down where you find the best vibe.
The students mostly head home for the weekends, and since this is basically a university town, be sure to visit during the week.
As in most college towns, Thursday night is best. Plan your itinerary accordingly, unless you want to spend your time with the big-haired locals that take over the bar scene on the weekends.
Herestraat is the main street while runs right through the city center. It's packed with stores, places to eat, and places to meet beautiful girls from Northern Holland.
When it's warm outside, there are carnivals and outdoor markets in Vismarkt just west of here. Definitely be sure to check them out. There are an awful lot of mighty fine Dutch girls walking around.
After Amsterdam and Rotterdam move onto the better university towns of Utrecht, Gronigen and Leiden. All of which are big university towns packed with beautiful and reasonable friendly Dutch chicks you have to stand on your toes to talk to. My favorite city in Holland by far is Utrecht. This place rocks in contrast to the "let's hang out and drink, talk and get stoned" mentality of the rest of Holland (save some good clubs in Amsterdam). There are some damn beautiful women here, mostly students and young professionals. The best bars and discos are situated down by the canal on Oudegracht Weerdzijde and Ouderkhof. The Shira and Sheeva Clubs here are perennial favorites, which are absolutely packed on the weekends. Like in Spain, every girl is smokin' hot, dressed well and is debunking every conceivable gravitational theory known to man, out there shaking them things on the dance floor. Wu! There is also a huge mall that is actually part of the central train station just west of here where you can scam during the day. The university is actually way out in the boon docks surrounded by farm country. Don't bother unless you are going to stay for a while. Unfortunately, the only youth hostel in this town is also way the hell out here. By you never know. You may get lucky and take a roll in the hay with one of the many fine farm girls turned collegiate coeds who are so numerous out there! The thing that struck me about this town was that fact that I had never seen more squids with gorgeous women for girlfriends anywhere else in my entire life. I met this 15-year-old Turkish kid who showed me around town one night. (The Turks are damn hospitable people by the way.) He brought me to all the good clubs, introduced me to his friends and took it upon himself to make sure that I had a good time, which of course meant I had to get runkled by one of the local chicks. We went through many gorgeous candidates that night or more accurately that morning, all of whom were eventually joined by their boyfriends who looked like they (had they lived anywhere else on Earth) should feel lucky just to masturbate while fantasizing about girls who looked this good. My new buddy, Amir, facilitated all interactions with the females out that night by making the first move on all sorties in my name. He arranged back-up, took care of many would-be Mother Theresa's guarding the entrances to their beautiful friends and also talked me up like a champion copilot. Thankfully, we met several worthy, unattached Amazon-sized, Zeena types, one of which decided to step up to the plate and make my decision of who to runkle an easy one. But hooking up with her meant that I would miss the last bus back to that damn youth hostel! Amir said, "No problem my friend!" At 4:30 in the morning, this kid rode his bike two miles out of town, picked up my stuff at the youth hostel and pedaled three miles to this chick's apartment to drop it off. It took him about an hour. He even waited patiently outside the door until the squealing stopped, mine— not hers. Remember how big these girls are. Now that my friends, is a wingman! The best time to visit is on the weekend during the school year. But there will always be plenty of booty around no mater when you visit, as there are also a ton of young professionals working in Utrecht year round.
Rotterdam is a much more laid-back place than Amsterdam. People here like to hang out, listen to live music, kick back with a beer, and chill.
This used to be a large port town. These days the biggest imports tend to be drugs like heroin or ecstasy. I was walking along the pier one night and saw a bunch of people trying to step around this guy lying face down on the pavement, whacked out of his mind on drugs. I decided to play doctor and went over to see if I could help out. His sister was standing over him trying to revive him. An ambulance came. I got an IV started and gave him a shot of naloxone, and he perked right up. His sister thanked me, gave me her number, and we spent the rest of the weekend together!
Check out Oude Haven and Nieuwe Binnenweg and walk the streets in search of your very own Dutch goddess in the stores, restaurants, and cafes so numerous in these areas. Head to Westerpaviljoen on Matheneserlaan, Night Town on West Kruiskade, or Beat Corner on Gravendijkwal - you won't be disappointed.
Leiden is a small town, but a big destination for youthful Dutch who want to attend Holland's oldest university, located within the city limits. Even better, it is a popular place for a lot of international students to study.
The bad thing is that a lot of the social life centers around the exclusive fraternities and societies of the university, which are open to members only. They remind me of the parties in the finals clubs at Harvard, only with better-looking girls.
The best bars are mostly on Bree Straat and its side streets, such as Vismarkt Botermarkt.
Weeknights are awfully quiet, so the best time to party is on the weekends. Haarlemmerstraat is packed with girls shopping, department stores, and places to eat.
There are tons of great girls here, so don't let the quiet and shy demeanor of the town discourage you. Look around and ask a local dude where to find the finest women.
Cannes has much better beaches than Nice for two reasons: the first is because the beaches are actually made of sand, and the second is the women on the beach are topless. The beaches here are almost enough to redeem your bad feelings about France after visiting Paris. I said almost!
The Boulevard de la Croisette and rue d'Antibes are the main drags and are lined with expensive stores, expensive cars, and expensive hotels. Check out Jane's on rue des Serbes come nightfall.
The famous Cannes Film Festival takes place here every May. If you want to make friends, you can always speak English really loudly in the cafes, wear a baseball cap in the restaurants or throw around a football on the beach.
Barcelona is another Spanish city that just rocks. It's situated in the Northeast of the Iberian Peninsula in a region of Spain called Catatonia. The advantage this city has over other big cities in Spain is that it has a beach. Now it's not a really beautiful beach, but a beach nonetheless. This means that in addition to the great nightlife typical of other Spanish cities, there are tons of beautiful Spanish girls sunbathing on the shores of the city on warm summer days. After experiencing a day at the beach in Barcelona, I dare any country, except maybe the United States, to claim that its women are more attractive than the Catalonians.
In the summertime, definitely head to the beach during the day to flirt with the ladies. Spanish is understood, although of course, they prefer speaking Catalan.
The best places to go early night in Barcelona can be found in a variety of places on Las Ramblas, Barri Gotic, the Placa Reial, Placa Catalunya, Cuitat Vella, and Port Olympic. They are all lined with pubs and bars and tons of people. Check out Districo Maritimo on Moll de la Fusta, Pachito in Puerto Olympic, Polyester on Estacio de Franca, Flat Cat on Calle Teodora la Madrid, Partycular on Auda Tibidabo, El Otro on Calle Valencia, Cafe Zurich on Placa Catalunya, Cafe de 1' Opera on Las Rablas and On/Off on Cami de la Fuxarda.
The best discotecas in the city include New York on Calle Escudellers, La Linea 6,25 on Calle Enric Grandees, Nits on Placa Joan Llongueres, Otto Zutz Club on Calle Lincoln, Apolo on Calle Nov de Rambla, and Karma in Placa Reial. Don't bother going out before 2 am and beware of the club employees, especially the bouncers who guard the entrances, who have attitudes that put the Madrid security to shame.
Some helpful hints on how to get into a club in Barcelona hassle-free: dress well, go with a group (preferably one which includes women) and go with someone who speaks Catalan. If you are not a local, they'll know it and possibly charge you a higher cover charge and price for drinks. Apparently, some Spaniards still recall Charles Barkley's nasty display at the '92 Summer Olympics in Barcelona, and no "les gustan los ugly Americanos!" Do your best to deal calmly with any situations that arise.
Barcelona is also big on warehouse parties and carpas, outdoor parties under tents in a wide-open space somewhere. You definitely have to ask a local about these, their dates, and locations. El Submari on Calle Fernando Poo and Firestiu on Placa de 1' Univers are where they have been held in the past. They are definitely very popular, so if the word is that all the locals are headed there on a certain night, check it out.
If you do only one touristy thing while you're in Spain, let it be a visit to Montjuïc (Mountain of the Jews), where the 1992 Olympic Games were held.