November 11, 2021
New York is as big and daunting as Los Angeles, Paris, or London with an attitude to match. During the day when masses of humanity commute into the city from neighboring communities to work, the population swells to greater than four times that of the entire country of Norway.
There are 5 boroughs in New York. It is safe to ignore four of them and concentrate your efforts on Manhattan. That's where you'll see and do everything that New York is so famous for, including its female residents.
The best time to be in New York is around Christmas/Hanukah and New Years. New Yorkers are actually friendly to each other when they are in the Christmas spirit. It's even customary to tip the muggers during the Yuletide! The stores on 5th and Park Avenues are absolutely mobbed, and the New Year's Eve party in Times Square draws hundreds of thousands of people every single year from around the world.
Yes, there are beautiful women in New York, but many of them won't want to go out with anyone they don't know, because there this place is big and full of strange men. Most of the women can't tell if you're one or not, so they usually play it safe and brush off all advances. If you have seen some of the men in this city, you can understand why they may do this. Don't be discouraged. Like in any big city with a similar attitude, you can still woo a local if you're smart and put in the effort. It's infinitely easier though if a friend or acquaintance who she knows and trusts introduces you to the chick so she knows you're safe.
During the day, head to Madison Ave, 5th Ave, and Avenue of the Americas where the women will be out shopping. Key places are Henri Bendels, Bergdorf Goodman, and Barneys. To make any sort of impression, have a major trust fund and own a Ferrari. Otherwise, just look the part. Like Paris, Milan, and Madrid, there are a ton of fashion models around, although diluted in a solute of millions of other girls, many of which may not be the least bit attractive. If you're really lucky you might run into a group of them out in the Village or Soho, since they tend to hang out there together with the rest of the international model crowd.
The happening bars and clubs in the city change constantly. By the time you read this, what's hot now won't be, and clubs that will be probably don't even exist yet. But Webster Hall on East 11th between 3rd and 4th Avenues, the Tunnel on 12th Avenue and 27th' System on 13th and 3rd and the Palladium on East 14th between 3rd and 4th seem to survive year to year and are sure to be good on the weekend. Take a look at what's online before you go into the club. These clubs tend to be full of tourists. These clubs are not cheap, and there is plenty of attitude to fill clubs 10 times their size, but they are worth checking out since they are exactly the kind of clubs you would expect from a place like New York. Dress well and bring plenty of cash. These places are often divided into sections with different clientele inhabiting different sections. Sometimes the security men won't let you into certain parts of the club if you don't have the right look for that section.
There are an enormous number of places in New York that are as good as the aforementioned clubs, but perhaps less known to those who don't live here. Twilo on 27th and 10th Ave, The Cheetah Club on 21st and 5th, Opera on 21st and 12*, Kaos off of Union Square, the China Bar on 63rd, The Roxy on West 18th, Dorian's on 7th Avenue, the Spy Bar on Green Street, Merc on Mercer Street, Envy on the corner of Hudson, Touch in Times Square and Spring, Liquids on 36th and 12th are all pretty good and feature a nice variety of fine-looking chicas from all over New York and adjacent New Jersey.
The upper-East Side is just east of Central Park from about 5th Avenue to 1st Avenue and from about 40th Street to 98th Street. There are a lot of professional types who live here and more millionaires per square foot than anywhere else in the world (because they are stacked on top of each other in the skyrises)! The upper-East side is also home to the greatest collection of art museums in the United States. The Metropolitan Museum of Art, the Whitney Museum of American Art, MOMA (Museum of Modern Art), the Frick Museum, and the Guggenheim are located here. Most of New York's greatest restaurants like Aureole, Le Cirque, Daniel, Le Chantilly, Four Seasons, Fifty Seven, and Lespinasse are in the upper-East side. Both the culture and the cash so prevalent on the upper-East side will ensure a steady supply of hot women in the area at any given time.
If you prefer the uptown crowd frequented by the many good-looking, young female professionals in this city who call New York their home, head to Venue on West 38th, Prohibition, the Bowery Bar on East 4th Street, Polyesters on 8th Street (there are actually two in the city), the Ski Bar on 2nd Avenue, Brother Jimmy's on 76th and 1st, Moe's Caribbean, Iggy's, Sweet Melissa's, Bare Bar* Bar 13, Merchants on Thomas Street, the Gingerman, Jake's Dilemma on Amsterdam, the Lemon Bar, the Union Bar and Phoebe's on Columbus Ave. These places tend to have a lot of chicks relaxing having a drink with their friends, perhaps a small dance floor, and a lot of flirting going on. Unfortunately, the ratio in these places may be unfavorable for the enthusiastic guy, so be bold and daring, lest you lose out to squid with the balls to roll up on a table full of girls talking with each other and seemingly uninterested in meeting anyone.
There are also a lot of good-looking women on the upper-West side. They are mostly Jewish girls in packs of 10 to 20 who may seem totally unapproachable to you but give them a shot. If you have a Jewish friend from New York, chances are that he'll know a few of the girls in these bars and can introduce you. This is a very close-knit community in which everybody knows each other. Oftentimes, they've already hooked up with multiple individuals within the same social circle. Know someone and be a successful dentist or lawyer with a name that ends in "berg" or "stein", if at all possible. And take off that crucifix from around your neck. Save it, the tank top, and the steroids for when you go out in New Jersey.
If you are looking for the best strip clubs money can buy in New York City, head to Scores on East 60th Street, Shenanaggins, NY Dolls on Murray Street, Tens, and Flash Dancers on Broadway. A table dance will set you back $10, but they are frequently tipped much more than this by all the Wall Street types.
If you're in New York during the summertime head for the beaches in the Hamptons out on Long Island. Here you will find all of the beautiful Jewish and Italian girls you could ever want. The Hamptons is a general area on the eastern side of Long Island, including the towns of East Hampton, West Hampton, and South Hampton. In addition, Amagansett, Sag Harbour, the Moriches, Shelter Island, and Montauk are more or less considered parts of the Hamptons. South Hampton is a playground for the rich and famous, but the other towns and beaches may bring you more luck as the level of pretentiousness is far less. Generally, it's way too difficult to only come out here for the day or the evening since the traffic on the way out here is horrible on the summer weekends. It's much easier if you know someone who has a place out here where you can crash. Keep an eye out so that you don't step on any medical waste or hypodermic needles on the Hampton beaches. The girls here may have left New York City, but they didn't forget to pack their attitudes. They never leave home without them. So the same rules for New York apply out here. Dress well, know someone, be introduced or be bold and daring.
Club M80, Boom, and Tavern on Route 27/Sunrise Highway in South Hampton are the places to be come nightfall to meet the beautiful NYC chicks who abandon the heat of the city every weekend and head to the beach.
Alternatively, head to the lesser places in West Hampton like Tongue in Groove and Cassey's. Don't feel as though you are missing out if you can't make it out to the Hamptons in the summertime. This city is packed with Europeans, Americans visiting from other parts of the United States and rich girls home from college or boarding school from June through August, so there are sure to be plenty of options around.
New York City also has some of the best eats in the world. Once you meet that Wall Street girl you have always dreamed of, take her to Dim Sum Go Go, The Spotted Pig, The Magnolia Café, Per Se, Baboo, The Standard, or Mas farmhouse. Good food makes women like you more. It is a provider/hunter/gather primal instincts thing. Don't fight it. Go with it...
Milwaukee is full of friendly, friendly, friendly women, mostly of Scandinavian decent with pretty blue eyes, blond, red, or brunette hair. Summertime is the time to go - wintertime is too damn cold. There are tons of festivals during the summer and any spot along Lake Michigan (which looks more like an ocean to me) is just going to be great.
Surprisingly, this city is cool and sophisticated, with chic bars, lounges, and hotels.
Stay at the Intercontinental or the Phister Hotel. The former is modern and hip, the latter is old school and elegant. Both hotels will be recognized by the ladies in the city. To stay there gives you instead credibility.
There are three main areas downtown where you can meet and greet. The first is Water Street. Places like Water Street Brewery, Bar Louie, Trinity, Buffalo Wild Wings, Sullivans, Magilicutties, Brother, and Whiskey Bar are where the 18-23 crowd is. They are young, pretty, and fresh. But beware - bring your A-game. There are a lot of college guys here looking for the same thing you are, so be bold and be different.
The bars here are crowded, hot and the ratios aren’t the greatest, but you will be fine. Don’t forget how to “hit on the help”, who are gorgeous, friendly, and just plain awesome.
Old World Third Street is the next place you should hit up. Bootleggers, Buckhead, Buck Bradleys, Sweet, Apartment 720, and Sojo 7 are where you will find the ladies 23-28, who are in my opinion the best in the city. Like the proverbial Goldy Locks and the Three Bears, this area is “just right”.
Off the beaten path is a club called Decibel, a traditional nightclub which is lots of fun.
Jefferson Ave and Kilborn is where you will find lounges like Elsas, Mikeys, and Taylors with the 28-35 crowd. Taylors is known for their happy hours, where you can find the smoking hot young corporate executive who was transferred to Milwaukee from LA and initially hated the place, but now loves it.
Want to impress your new lady friend and have a great meal? Head to Bacchus, where the Bartolotta family keeps the food and the atmosphere charming and elegant. Umami Moto and Carnivore are other awesome places but be sure to leave room for desert following the amazing entrees.
Washington DC is of course the capital of the United States of America, a big college town, and the city where even the President can get some, whenever he wants it. There are tons of international chicks here thanks to all the foreign embassies, which add some variety to the local mix. Consequently DC rivals New York for boasting the most international residents on the East Coast. The city is divided into four zones. If you don't want to get shot, stabbed, mugged, or do crack and run for Mayor, stick to the safe and fun-filled Northwest area of town. There is a good amount of YP here in DC. owing to the many universities in the area, such as Georgetown University, George Washington University, The University of Maryland and especially Northern Virginia Community College (NoVa for short) just South of D.C. in Annadale, Virginia. Check them out during the day. Most of the action is on M Street starting from around Wisconsin Ave heading East to Connecticut Ave. Third Edition on Winconsin along with Garret' and LuLu's on M Street, The Sports Bar***, Decades on 9th and E, and the Mad Hatter*** are usually good, as are the clubs in the "golden triangle". The best titty bar in the city is Camelots on M Street. The hottest dance club is Tracks on the corner of 1st and M Streets. But be careful. It's gay on some nights, so unless you want to be doing the Macarana with Bubba and friends, I suggest you ask ahead of time. Fifth Column on F Street, the Insect Club on E Street and the Z Club on Z Alley and the Spy Club on 15th Street are also excellent. These are the bars with the South American chicas, who really like to dance. Adams Morgan is a very international neighborhood with plenty of bars and restaurants in which to party, but the ratio tends to be poor. Check out Club Heaven and Hell on 18th Street for cheesy 80's dancing and horny 20-something girls. Head to the cafes and clubs on the Harbor for post-collegiate beauties who are looking for a man with a future. Try Sequoia, if you want to land a gold-digger and don't mind sharing a bar with Euro-fag assholes who pull up to the harbor in their daddy's yacht. You might expect all the YP to leave town, when school lets out for the summertime. Think again. The city is packed with senatorial want-to-be's interning on Capitol Hill for their congressman or some federal agency. And if fat, 60 year-old senators successfully hook up with these bright-eyed naive patriots, you should have no problem. There are plenty Of intern parties also, usually thrown by students from a particular school who are rooming together in a house North of M street in Georgetown ("the G-spot"). Word gets around pretty fast and these parties can be a blast. The Fourth of July in Washington, DC kicks ass with a huge party on the "mall", the big green lawn in the shadow of the Washington Monument. In nearby Reston Virginia, the place to be is Market Street. Clydes, Tap Room, Pizzaria Uno, and shops like BeBe are the places to find the Y.
San Diego is an awesome city. There are tons of beautiful girls here - Playbody is constantly at the local universities recruiting girls to do pictorials for college editions. The bad news is the girls in San Diego tend to date the same guy for years, which can be incredibly frustrating (unless you're him). They don't even go out all that often and give the rest of us a chance. It's not like there's a paucity of bars and clubs, either. San Diego is just one of those places inhabited by a bunch of early-to-bed, early-to-rise kind of people - except on the weekends.
Pacific Beach and Mission Beach are the collegiate, surfer, and military hangouts. La Jolla (pronounced La Hoya, for those of you who flunked high school Spanish and don't want to make an ass out of yourself) is wealthier and boring, but beautiful. Downtown is where it's at, and therefore where you should be! The Gas Lamp District downtown is freakin' awesome. It's and just a short taxi ride from the airport. Stay at the Hard Rock Hotel or the W Hotel - that is where all the beautiful people go.
Girls at the clubs here are similar quality to the ones in LA, but way less pretentious and easily approachable. Look good and dress well down here. Most everyone is fashion conscious since Hollywood is just up the road.
Stingaree, Fleetwood, Basic, La Puerta, Side Bar, and Fluxx are some of my favorite places to meet the ladies. Not sure where to go or what's hot? Just walk up and down Market, G, and F Streets and follow the noise and you will be fine. Check out the Hooters down here. Usually, there's some pretty decent talent.
Pacific Beach, referred affectionately as "PB" by the locals is a perfect place for you to practice your game. The most action in PB is on Garnet. Two huge bars dominate the scene - PB Bar and Grill and Typhoon Saloon. Get there early or be prepared to wait in line. Fred's Mexican Cafe is next door to the Typhoon if you're looking for some decent Mexican food. Check out Bob's Dive, Sinbad Cafe (which is a hooka bar that attracts groups of hot girls), or Cabo Cantina. Tavern on the Beach and Plum Crazy usually has hot girls inside, so it might be worth your time. Society is a billiards place to chill after you have met the cutie you've been looking for. Finally, Millers Field is a cool sports bar filled with girls who are way laid back and cool.
During the day, hang out on the campus of SDSU and check out the boardwalks of Mission and Pacific Beaches after 5:00 pm when the babes come out to work out. Run, bike, or rollerblade and be bold in your approach. The boardwalk is not a place for the shy and timid, it's quite difficult to strike up a conversation with someone who's riding a bike past you! Mouse's on Mission Beach offers a nice vantage point to plan your approach.
Come nighttime on Mission Beach, check out Club Tremors on Garnet and Club Sevilla. There are usually some good-looking women out and about at these places. Be careful: a lot of the women here have military boyfriends or husbands, as there is a huge US Navy base close by. You may have your wrap rudely interrupted by a pissed-off, testosterone-filled soldier who's ready to kick your ass. You may run across a "West Pac Widow", which is a wife of a navy man who is overseas for months at a time in the South Pacific. I tend to avoid the West Pac Widows - it's bad karma to try to get with a soldier's wife.
Another good thing about San Diego is that Tijuana, Mexico is just south of here. There is some serious partying that goes on across the border. The party-goers tend to be kids from San Diego who are under the US legal drinking age and are very intent on taking advantage of the fact that in Mexico if you are old enough to walk (even if you're already drunk), you are old enough to buy alcohol. But beware - don't give money to all the little kids with dirt-smudged, adorable faces selling gum or candy. Unknowing tourists can't help but shove money at them. They make a killing. Don't believe me? Watch one of those little con artists for 15 minutes and see how much money they rake in, it's incredible.
Drunk partiers who piss off Mexican police or bar proprietors have been known to get their asses tossed in jail without trial and have to pay ridiculous bribes to city officials to get out, so be careful down here! Worse yet, if you look at all Mexican you will get a load of shit when you try to come back into the United States, I guarantee it. The border police are dumb as shit, and they like to act like badasses and mess with all the returning party-goers. Don't give them a reason to mess with you. Don't give them the satisfaction. Believe me. I speak from personal experience.
I remember the time I went to Tijuana with my buddies. Being a darkie, I was paranoid that I was going to get harassed by the border patrol when I tried to get back into the country. Sure enough, even after seeing my passport, my license, and my medical school ID, they still brought me to stand before the man, as my buddies (and my brother who looks just like me) were waved through with a nod. I was accused of trying to smuggle steroids into the country and was invasively patted down. When I protested my terrible treatment, as I was leaving the agent said "I am the US border patrol. I can go inside you if I want." Now that's a God complex. Needless to say, I was out of there in a hurry and promised myself that I had just made my last trip to Tijuana. It totally wasn't worth the danger and the hassle.
Ft. Myers, Florida is a few hours car trip south of Tampa. It isn't worth a special trip at all unless you have a hook-up at Florida Gulf Coast University. The girls here are relatively decent looking, but what college girls in Florida don't look good?
There is a small beach on campus by the water. Check it out to find beachgoers sunbathing on the sand after class. It's a small school and relatively new.
Most of the decent bars and restaurants are close to campus. Malony’s Sports Bar is good on Thursday nights, the universal college night of the week. If you meet the girls on the volleyball team at FGCU, pile in the car and head down to Blue Martini in Naples and look like a stud to the valet guys as the car full of 6-foot tall college girls in high heels pour out of the car.
Palm Springs is the big spring break hangout in California. It's out in the middle of nowhere, but it's fun as hell. There obviously aren't any beaches, but they have something almost as good: beautiful girls poolside.
The hotels here are huge and offer spring break packages at special discounts. It's very easy to meet chicks who are staying at your hotel because it's really obvious who the students are and who the older, rich folk are.
The main street downtown is packed on nights when spring breakers are in town. The crowd is much smaller and much less hedonistic than other spring break spots, but there are beautiful women. Most of the female students who come here to party tend to be of the wealthy, stuck-up, LA variety.
Fly into the Branson Airport if you can. It’s the only privately owned commercial airport in the USA and as such, it's pretty cool looking.
This town is one of the cheesiest places I’ve even been to in my life. If you don’t believe me, cruise down Route 76 through downtown Branson to see what your life will be like when you have a family and after you retire and have nothing else to do. Cheesy restaurants, theme bars, and shows line the street.
Dinner and drinks at Chateau on the Lake has been my most successful bet. I have a few amazing memories from this place - I can’t even keep the smile off of my face.