November 11, 2021
Orlando is a kid's paradise with Disney World, Sea World, MGM Studios, Universal Studios, and Epcot Center all located here. It's a great place to go if you're a teenager trying to meet other teens living their Disney dream.
Fortunately, there are also plenty of good-looking Florida natives who work in all of these places during the summer. Epcot Center is my personal favorite because Disney flies in beautiful foreign girls to work its international pavilions in an effort to give Epcot's "world showcase" an atmosphere of authenticity.
Church Street Station is the place to be for weekend nighttime revelry. Makos is my absolute favorite. The beautiful bartenders, shot girls, beer tub girls, and swing girls are so fine. There's constant churn at this place; you hardly ever see the same girls month to month. Awesome. Bring you’re A-game: these girls get hit on constantly, so do something to set yourself apart.
For the regular girls, Chillers and Lattitudes right next door are good. Suite B is a cool lounge. If you want young, hip, pierced, and tattooed, head to Back Booth.
Even on non-weekend nights, you can usually find something going on in Downtown Orlando off of Church Street and Orange Ave. Follow the noise and the crowd and have a good time.
The University of Central Florida is here and the typical Thursday night is good by the university at places like Knight Club, Library and Scoop. There you will find all the beautiful Florida college coeds but be warned: these bars are very cliquey. Don’t be a pussy and roll-up. The Wing House by the university is also really good mostly during the school year, where most of the hot college girls will work for easy tips off of the patrons that worship them. The Hooters by the Orlando airport is usually good as well.
In the land of Disney, the strip clubs are pretty terrible. But in nearby Altamonte, Rachels is pretty decent. There you will find beautiful girls to hit on almost every day of the week.
Also close to Orlando is Lake Mary, Florida. The Tilted Kilt (yet another Hooters knock-off) has some beautiful waitresses. Like I keep saying - learn to hit on the help.
New Orleans, Louisiana and the famed Mardi Gras celebration which happens the three weeks preceding the Lenten season in February is usually near the top of any world travelers itinerary. During the last week of Mardi Gras festivities, the city is absolutely packed. There are parades every day and drinking and merry-making all night, every night.
The recipe for having a great time at Mardi Gras is to take a bunch of your good buddies, find some hot girls, add alcohol, plastic beads, and, Voila! So what if most of the girls here aren't the most beautiful, it's worth going to Mardi Gras for the pure entertainment value of trying to see just how much you can get away with. You won't sleep, so expect an upper respiratory infection. You will hook up, so expect other types of infections if you aren't careful.
If your idea of a good time is drinking with a bunch of other guys and hitting on mostly unattractive women who like to show off their bodies, stick their tongues down your throat or get frisky for plastic beads, you're going to have a blast. Yes, big, colorful beads possessed by the revelers at Mardi Gras are to be given in exchange for all sorts of favors. If a girl likes your beads (or you, more importantly), she'll ask you what she has to do to get some of them. Or better yet, find someone you like and ask her what she's willing to do for some beads. You can ask her to do anything you want. Use your imagination.
City officials promptly put a stop to the madness at 12:00 midnight on Fat Tuesday, so don't bother staying one minute longer than that, unless you got lucky and met one of the few beautiful girls to be found in Louisiana.
A word to the wise; Be careful. Remember that New Orleans is the city where the police get busted for dealing drugs and putting contracts out on witnesses, so you can imagine what the bad guys are like.
If you visit New Orleans at any time other than Mardi Gras, which is held the three weeks before Ash Wednesday and the Lenten season every year, head down to the French Quarter for some decent food before heading to Texas and points further west. The women here aren't the most attractive, but at least they can cook.
Pat Obrien's on Saint Peter Street, Cooter's on Carrolton Ave, the Maple Leaf on Oak Street, and Miss Mae's on Magazine Street are decent bars, whenever you may visit.
The best strip club is the Gold Cup on Iberville.
Huge college town. Lots of beautiful girls. Check out the campus of the University of Alabama at Huntsville during the day when all the beautiful girls are roaming between classes.
If you can't make it during the day, check the evening shift on the weekends at the local Hooters. It's superb and right around the corner from campus.
Every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night, the bars and clubs at the Bridge Street Town Center are just overflowing with beautiful girls. In general they are super friendly and very outgoing.
Hoboken is just a short trip from New York City across the Lincoln or Holland Tunnel. This hot spot is under-the-radar, except for those who live in the New York/New Jersey area. It is said that there are more bars and women in the square mile that makes up Hoboken's downtown than anywhere else in the United States of America, and most of it is on Washington between 1st and 14th!
Weekends are the only time to go; when the place is packed with pretty girls from North Jersey and lots of guido types looking for the same thing you are. Beware the big-haired girls in this part of the country, cheesy Jersey shore types with low IQ's and hair that will not budge in 40 mile-per-hour winds. They're everywhere and tend to prefer the big, Italian guys who drive Iroc Z's and have names like Anthony, Angelo, Marco, and Stefano.
Hoboken Bar and Grill, Bahama Mommas, Nine, Black Bear, 340 Grill, Green Rock, Luiou, the W Hotel lounge, Trinity, and Mile Square are all good places. Don't get complacent in this town. You've got to work quickly and early to meet the best girls. This town is fairly non-pretentious, and there are a lot of professional women here. So with any luck, she may actually pick up the check, and you’ll still have a good time!
If you are in Maryland from June through August check out Ocean City. This beach town is a great place since tons of girls from the city and surrounding communities of Baltimore and Washington, DC flock here in droves in the summertime.
This place is as cheesy as the Jersey shore but more compact. Every summer this place is packed with high schoolers, big-haired Baltimore girls, and the like. They're all spread out on the 10 mile stretch of beach, but you only really need to hang out by the boardwalk.
Check out Seacrets on 49th for nighttime revelry.
This is a small town just north of Houston. There are some cute girls here but it’s a small scene. Check out Pappas, Dalton’s (a kicker bar), Lava Lounge, Sam’s Boat and Shananigans on Sundays.
Definitely do not miss a trip to West Palm Beach/Boca Raton if you can help it. Clematis Street in West Palm is phat on Thursday night when all of the Y comes out to play. Check out Dr. Feel Good, Monarchy,Rocko’s Tacos, Roxy’s and Bradley. City Place is super close to Clematis. My fav places there are Blue Martini and Opa. Boca Raton is terrible these days. The Jewish wives of all the rich dudes here have totally ruined the place. There are no decent clubs anymore. The Hooters here (which was once the best in the world) was forced to shut down. For the YP head to Town Center Boca—a young hip mall, where you can troll for YP. For more daytime game, head to the campus at Florida Atlantic University, where community college education never looked so good. Or try Breezzi’s on the weekends.