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GOD DAMN FACTOR

The panhandle of Florida, AKA the redneck Rivera. Don't go in the water though, which thanks to BP will be microscopically laden with oil for years to come. You can get dirty enough and put your health at risk by partying with the girls downtown. There are some honeys here, but outside of spring break, you may have to hunt for them a little bit.

Stay at the New World Inn Hotel. It's a local place and within walking distance of all of downtown. Start off at 600 South, the cool upscale bar at the hotel, and try your luck with the cute bartenders. Walk down the street to Club Ice, and follow up with Club Fire, which is upstairs from Club Ice (cheesy, but who doesn't love the cheese in the pan handle). It's totally packed. Don't be shy. VIP here is reasonable so reach in the wallet and make an impression. 5 1/2 Bar is a cool high-end wine and cocktail bar where you can impress the girl you met during the day on the beach or at the Hooters nearby, but come here alone and the cougars will be your only option.

Want a more chill place to bring the girl you met earlier in the day? Check out Intermissions, a kind of a dive bar with good live music, which she will most likely love. Hop Jacks has a younger local crowd that go there for the big draft beers selection and good, cheap food. Seville Quarter is the best place to meet girls. It's 7 bars and clubs in one, with everything from a piano bar to a dance club to a chill bar. If you can't meet someone here with all the drunk happy girls running around schizophrenically between the 7 venues, then your man card seriously deserves to be revoked. Good luck!

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Pensacola, FL, USA

November 11, 2021

7.0

God Damn Factor

The panhandle of Florida, AKA the redneck Rivera. Don't go in the water though, which thanks to BP will be microscopically laden with oil for years to come. You can get dirty enough and put your health at risk by partying with the girls downtown. There are some honeys here, but outside of spring break, you may have to hunt for them a little bit.

Stay at the New World Inn Hotel. It's a local place and within walking distance of all of downtown. Start off at 600 South, the cool upscale bar at the hotel, and try your luck with the cute bartenders. Walk down the street to Club Ice, and follow up with Club Fire, which is upstairs from Club Ice (cheesy, but who doesn't love the cheese in the pan handle). It's totally packed. Don't be shy. VIP here is reasonable so reach in the wallet and make an impression. 5 1/2 Bar is a cool high-end wine and cocktail bar where you can impress the girl you met during the day on the beach or at the Hooters nearby, but come here alone and the cougars will be your only option.

Want a more chill place to bring the girl you met earlier in the day? Check out Intermissions, a kind of a dive bar with good live music, which she will most likely love. Hop Jacks has a younger local crowd that go there for the big draft beers selection and good, cheap food. Seville Quarter is the best place to meet girls. It's 7 bars and clubs in one, with everything from a piano bar to a dance club to a chill bar. If you can't meet someone here with all the drunk happy girls running around schizophrenically between the 7 venues, then your man card seriously deserves to be revoked. Good luck!

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Myrtle Beach, SC, USA

November 10, 2021

7.5

The Doctor

This is the preferred destination for spring break for the VERY young man - I’m talking high school students - especially around Barefoot Landing. Broadway is full of cheesy beach town stores and restaurants. It reminds me of the Jersey Shore a little bit. 

For a more grown-up scene, try the Kryptonite (K Club) or the Tunnel on Friday and Saturday nights, or the Boat House early on Sundays in the summertime. The boaters and their hot wives, girlfriends, and daughters will be there late afternoon to late evening. 

The best place to bring a date for an impressive dinner is Legrands - great wine list, food, and service.

There is a decent Hooters here and a few good strip clubs in this town: the Penthouse and Doll House have the hottest girls. All the same rules of hitting on strippers and the help apply here in Myrtle Beach, SC.

Columbia, SC, USA

November 2, 2021

8.5

The Doctor

Home of the University of South Carolina Game Cocks, baby! Haha… I just love saying that. So this city is a college town with a little more to it. Wet Willies (for those high octane frozen drinks), Flying Saucer (with their smoking hot waitresses), JilliansLiberty Tap, Mushroom, and Wild Hare Sports Bar (where most of the locals hang out) are great places to meet girls. They are all in a section of town called Vista, a more professional part of town but the college girls over 21 will come here, if not to party, then to work as waitresses and bartenders.

Five Points is where more girls hang out. It’s not too far from campus - just down Blossom. Cheaper bars with drink specials and college nights; places like Sharky’sLocalsLucky’s, etc. There’s a two-story Starbucks and of course a Pita Pit to score late-night munchies to soak up the alcohol! Both are great places to meet some cuties.

On-campus of course the coeds abound. Mingle with them over at Yoghut. It’s a cool frozen yogurt place that the girls totally love - and it’s right next to campus.

Stay at the Sheraton downtown. It used to be an old-school bank - with a mechanized vault and all. The girls will totally dig it.

The best restaurant in the city is the Blue Marlin - a great place for a date with that beautiful girl you met last night. Impressive entrance and good eats.

You can always take a girl to nearby Augusta, Georgia, where fat, old, rich men play golf. Stay at the Marriot and eat at the Maison Restaurant - owned and run by an old German Chef. Nice and romantic.

San Antonio, TX, USA

November 12, 2021

8

The Doctor

Surprisingly, the University of Texas at San Antonio has some beautiful women.

The best clubs here are places like Kennedy’s, Boston Bar, Boggies, Chicago Bar, and Highlander. It's only worth going on the weekends. 

The big kicker bar is Cowboys and is good on the weekends. It's enormous, so check it out because it will probably be packed.

If you are downtown by the River Front, try the Langer, Rebar, Rev Room, and Zen Bar. 

If you are on the north side of town, try Dolche, Duo, and Swig, but dress to impress. If you are on the north side and in jeans and a tee-shirt head to the Cross-Eyed Seagul.

Hands down the best strip club here is The Palace. The waitresses and dancers are fantastic. The Hooters on Wurzback is easily the best in San Antonio and probably in Texas. Bikinis is a bar where, well, the girls serve you in bikinis, and it's right around the corner from the Hooters. Fox and the Hound and Flying Saucer will occasionally have some cute waitresses. You never know. Two places you can always count on for hot waitresses are Rebar and The Hanger off of Broadway. Really gorgeous girls.

The girls in this town tend to keep their boyfriends for years; only God knows why. What that means for you is that it's tough to find a single attractive woman in this town. Most of the great ones are taken unless you find a needle in a haystack.

Aspen, CO, USA

October 29, 2021

7

The Doctor

Damn!  This place is full of lots of bougie, rich people.  When you fly in on your commercial flight, check out the sea of the private jets lining the runways. It’s expensive to fly here. It’s expensive to stay here. It’s expensive to live here. It’s expensive to ski and snowboard here. It’s expensive to eat here. It’s expensive to drink here. And that’s the way the people here like to keep it - rich, white, and exclusive. 

There's nothing to do during the day but hit the slopes, where if you are super lucky, you may meet some hot girl on the mountain or on the ski lift.  As an alternative, you can hit up La Creperie Du Village or Ajax Tavern for lunch at the base of Aspen Mountain.

You may spot some hot cougars up here 7900 feet above sea level, where the alcohol hits them harder—vacationing with their ex-husband's money.  Aspen is way too family-oriented for the typical college-aged girl.  Occasionally you may run across some hot daughters of the rich, white guys and their trophy wives up here.  But it’ll be tough trying to get them away from the watchful eyes of Mommy and Daddy.  If you are willing, you can get contact info and follow up with the hot daughters when they are back home or back at college.

If you bring your own girl to Aspen (as I always do), take her to White House Tavern for a great meal, L’Hosteria for overpriced, average Italian food, Clark's Oyster Bar for an oceanic aphrodisiac, or Su Casa for some solid Mexican.

The nightlife here mostly consists of bars—The Red Onion, Zane's Tavern, J-Bar, and Eric’s (which is like 4 things in one—a restaurant, pool hall, a bar, and a lounge). There is one nightclub here with lots of dudes looking for the same thing you are. It’s called Escobar Aspen. It’s underground with a decent bar and a tiny dance floor.  

Fort Myers, FL, USA

November 8, 2021

7.5

The Doctor

Ft. Myers, Florida is a few hours car trip south of Tampa. It isn't worth a special trip at all unless you have a hook-up at Florida Gulf Coast University. The girls here are relatively decent looking, but what college girls in Florida don't look good?

There is a small beach on campus by the water. Check it out to find beachgoers sunbathing on the sand after class. It's a small school and relatively new.

Most of the decent bars and restaurants are close to campus. Malony’s Sports Bar is good on Thursday nights, the universal college night of the week. If you meet the girls on the volleyball team at FGCU, pile in the car and head down to Blue Martini in Naples and look like a stud to the valet guys as the car full of 6-foot tall college girls in high heels pour out of the car.

Phoenix, AZ, USA

November 12, 2021

9

The Doctor

Women in Phoenix are like the weather here in Arizona, hot as hell.

Phoenix is home to Arizona State University, which so generously keeps this city stocked with beautiful college girls. Like Houston, Phoenix seems like it houses a strip club on every other corner. It's very popular for the good-looking female students at ASU to dance part-time for extra money - you can practically assume that most of the hot chicks on campus have at least tried it once. Head to ASU during the school year to check out a little higher education-Arizona style!

The place to be on the weekends in Phoenix is Mill Avenue, just to the west of the university. All the bars are lined up back to back. So bar hop or follow the noise into whatever bar suites your fancy. Club 411 and Gibson's on Mill Ave are my personal favorites.

For a slightly more mature crowd, check out the areas on the corner of Scottsdale and McDowell Road. Jetz and Stixx on E Street, the Camelback and the Cajun House 5th Ave, and The Famous Door on 78th Street are the best bars in this area. Dr. Feel Good and the Blue Note on East McDowell are worth a look-see, as are Rio, Iron Horse, Studebakers, and Tribecca on Scottsdale. Toolie's on West Thomas Road is an incredible country music club here in Phoenix (I can't believe I said that) - the only place I've ever been where the bouncers shake your hand when they card you at the entrance— pretty classy! The place is packed with hot chicks who love country music. Get out there, cowboy!

The best strip clubs in the city are Tiffany's on 32nd by the airport and Bourbon Street on Indian School Road. $10 for a table dance is not too shabby for the quality you get.

On the days you're not at ASU, check out the shopping districts on Colonnade and the Town and Country Mall. West Gate is a relatively new place in Phoenix housing a huge complex full of bars, clubs, restaurants, and of course, a strip club.