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GOD DAMN FACTOR

The panhandle of Florida, AKA the redneck Rivera. Don't go in the water though, which thanks to BP will be microscopically laden with oil for years to come. You can get dirty enough and put your health at risk by partying with the girls downtown. There are some honeys here, but outside of spring break, you may have to hunt for them a little bit.

Stay at the New World Inn Hotel. It's a local place and within walking distance of all of downtown. Start off at 600 South, the cool upscale bar at the hotel, and try your luck with the cute bartenders. Walk down the street to Club Ice, and follow up with Club Fire, which is upstairs from Club Ice (cheesy, but who doesn't love the cheese in the pan handle). It's totally packed. Don't be shy. VIP here is reasonable so reach in the wallet and make an impression. 5 1/2 Bar is a cool high-end wine and cocktail bar where you can impress the girl you met during the day on the beach or at the Hooters nearby, but come here alone and the cougars will be your only option.

Want a more chill place to bring the girl you met earlier in the day? Check out Intermissions, a kind of a dive bar with good live music, which she will most likely love. Hop Jacks has a younger local crowd that go there for the big draft beers selection and good, cheap food. Seville Quarter is the best place to meet girls. It's 7 bars and clubs in one, with everything from a piano bar to a dance club to a chill bar. If you can't meet someone here with all the drunk happy girls running around schizophrenically between the 7 venues, then your man card seriously deserves to be revoked. Good luck!

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Pensacola, FL, USA

November 11, 2021

7.0

God Damn Factor

The panhandle of Florida, AKA the redneck Rivera. Don't go in the water though, which thanks to BP will be microscopically laden with oil for years to come. You can get dirty enough and put your health at risk by partying with the girls downtown. There are some honeys here, but outside of spring break, you may have to hunt for them a little bit.

Stay at the New World Inn Hotel. It's a local place and within walking distance of all of downtown. Start off at 600 South, the cool upscale bar at the hotel, and try your luck with the cute bartenders. Walk down the street to Club Ice, and follow up with Club Fire, which is upstairs from Club Ice (cheesy, but who doesn't love the cheese in the pan handle). It's totally packed. Don't be shy. VIP here is reasonable so reach in the wallet and make an impression. 5 1/2 Bar is a cool high-end wine and cocktail bar where you can impress the girl you met during the day on the beach or at the Hooters nearby, but come here alone and the cougars will be your only option.

Want a more chill place to bring the girl you met earlier in the day? Check out Intermissions, a kind of a dive bar with good live music, which she will most likely love. Hop Jacks has a younger local crowd that go there for the big draft beers selection and good, cheap food. Seville Quarter is the best place to meet girls. It's 7 bars and clubs in one, with everything from a piano bar to a dance club to a chill bar. If you can't meet someone here with all the drunk happy girls running around schizophrenically between the 7 venues, then your man card seriously deserves to be revoked. Good luck!

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Phoenix, AZ, USA

November 12, 2021

9

The Doctor

Women in Phoenix are like the weather here in Arizona, hot as hell.

Phoenix is home to Arizona State University, which so generously keeps this city stocked with beautiful college girls. Like Houston, Phoenix seems like it houses a strip club on every other corner. It's very popular for the good-looking female students at ASU to dance part-time for extra money - you can practically assume that most of the hot chicks on campus have at least tried it once. Head to ASU during the school year to check out a little higher education-Arizona style!

The place to be on the weekends in Phoenix is Mill Avenue, just to the west of the university. All the bars are lined up back to back. So bar hop or follow the noise into whatever bar suites your fancy. Club 411 and Gibson's on Mill Ave are my personal favorites.

For a slightly more mature crowd, check out the areas on the corner of Scottsdale and McDowell Road. Jetz and Stixx on E Street, the Camelback and the Cajun House 5th Ave, and The Famous Door on 78th Street are the best bars in this area. Dr. Feel Good and the Blue Note on East McDowell are worth a look-see, as are Rio, Iron Horse, Studebakers, and Tribecca on Scottsdale. Toolie's on West Thomas Road is an incredible country music club here in Phoenix (I can't believe I said that) - the only place I've ever been where the bouncers shake your hand when they card you at the entrance— pretty classy! The place is packed with hot chicks who love country music. Get out there, cowboy!

The best strip clubs in the city are Tiffany's on 32nd by the airport and Bourbon Street on Indian School Road. $10 for a table dance is not too shabby for the quality you get.

On the days you're not at ASU, check out the shopping districts on Colonnade and the Town and Country Mall. West Gate is a relatively new place in Phoenix housing a huge complex full of bars, clubs, restaurants, and of course, a strip club.

Columbia, SC, USA

November 2, 2021

8.5

The Doctor

Home of the University of South Carolina Game Cocks, baby! Haha… I just love saying that. So this city is a college town with a little more to it. Wet Willies (for those high octane frozen drinks), Flying Saucer (with their smoking hot waitresses), JilliansLiberty Tap, Mushroom, and Wild Hare Sports Bar (where most of the locals hang out) are great places to meet girls. They are all in a section of town called Vista, a more professional part of town but the college girls over 21 will come here, if not to party, then to work as waitresses and bartenders.

Five Points is where more girls hang out. It’s not too far from campus - just down Blossom. Cheaper bars with drink specials and college nights; places like Sharky’sLocalsLucky’s, etc. There’s a two-story Starbucks and of course a Pita Pit to score late-night munchies to soak up the alcohol! Both are great places to meet some cuties.

On-campus of course the coeds abound. Mingle with them over at Yoghut. It’s a cool frozen yogurt place that the girls totally love - and it’s right next to campus.

Stay at the Sheraton downtown. It used to be an old-school bank - with a mechanized vault and all. The girls will totally dig it.

The best restaurant in the city is the Blue Marlin - a great place for a date with that beautiful girl you met last night. Impressive entrance and good eats.

You can always take a girl to nearby Augusta, Georgia, where fat, old, rich men play golf. Stay at the Marriot and eat at the Maison Restaurant - owned and run by an old German Chef. Nice and romantic.

Wichita, KS, USA

October 25, 2021

8.5

The Doctor

Geez us…  There are some beautiful, corn-fed, white women our here in the American heart land.  Stay at the Hyatt Hotel, if you can.  It's pretty and new and has a decent bar for a hotel chain.  Besides-- it’s the nicest hotel in town and adjacent to downtown-- like within walking distance.  Swade’s is a nice classy club—on Fridays it's Latino night and on Saturdays it'ss hip hop night.

 Heroes is a huge relatively new hot spot in town.  Avoid Indigo—unless you like fat, tatted up dark skinned girls with stretch marks, gold teeth and fake hair.  For the complete opposite experience, check out Doc Howard’s on a Thursday night.  That is whenever the University of Kansas girls are out here in force.  Rock Chalk Jay Hawk, baby!

Washington D.C., USA

October 25, 2021

8

The Doctor

Washington DC is of course the capital of the United States of America, a big college town, and the city where even the President can get some, whenever he wants it. There are tons of international chicks here thanks to all the foreign embassies, which add some variety to the local mix. Consequently DC rivals New York for boasting the most international residents on the East Coast. The city is divided into four zones. If you don't want to get shot, stabbed, mugged, or do crack and run for Mayor, stick to the safe and fun-filled Northwest area of town. There is a good amount of YP here in DC. owing to the many universities in the area, such as Georgetown University, George Washington University, The University of Maryland and especially Northern Virginia Community College (NoVa for short) just South of D.C. in Annadale, Virginia. Check them out during the day. Most of the action is on M Street starting from around Wisconsin Ave heading East to Connecticut Ave. Third Edition on Winconsin along with Garret' and LuLu's on M Street, The Sports Bar***, Decades on 9th and E, and the Mad Hatter*** are usually good, as are the clubs in the "golden triangle". The best titty bar in the city is Camelots on M Street. The hottest dance club is Tracks on the corner of 1st and M Streets. But be careful. It's gay on some nights, so unless you want to be doing the Macarana with Bubba and friends, I suggest you ask ahead of time. Fifth Column on F Street, the Insect Club on E Street and the Z Club on Z Alley and the Spy Club on 15th Street are also excellent. These are the bars with the South American chicas, who really like to dance. Adams Morgan is a very international neighborhood with plenty of bars and restaurants in which to party, but the ratio tends to be poor. Check out Club Heaven and Hell on 18th Street for cheesy 80's dancing and horny 20-something girls. Head to the cafes and clubs on the Harbor for post-collegiate beauties who are looking for a man with a future. Try Sequoia, if you want to land a gold-digger and don't mind sharing a bar with Euro-fag assholes who pull up to the harbor in their daddy's yacht. You might expect all the YP to leave town, when school lets out for the summertime. Think again. The city is packed with senatorial want-to-be's interning on Capitol Hill for their congressman or some federal agency. And if fat, 60 year-old senators successfully hook up with these bright-eyed naive patriots, you should have no problem. There are plenty Of intern parties also, usually thrown by students from a particular school who are rooming together in a house North of M street in Georgetown ("the G-spot"). Word gets around pretty fast and these parties can be a blast. The Fourth of July in Washington, DC kicks ass with a huge party on the "mall", the big green lawn in the shadow of the Washington Monument. In nearby Reston Virginia, the place to be is Market Street. Clydes, Tap Room, Pizzaria Uno, and shops like BeBe are the places to find the Y.

Charleston, SC, USA

November 2, 2021

8.5

The Doctor

Shockingly this town is a really good time. Fantastic restaurants, Southern hospitality, cool boutique hotels, and beautiful, friendly girls!

Market Street is full of cool college bars with college girls in them Thursday through Saturday, as the College of Charleston is right downtown. Mad River, Johnsons, and Wild Wings are some of the best in town.

There are some cool roof-top bars here. There is one at the Venue Hotel and Henry’s.

The fantastic restaurants in this city include Rue de Jean, Cypress, Pearls, Basil, Blossom, the Library at the Venue Hotel, and High Cotton.

Branson, MO, USA

November 2, 2021

7

The Doctor

Fly into the Branson Airport if you can. It’s the only privately owned commercial airport in the USA and as such, it's pretty cool looking. 

This town is one of the cheesiest places I’ve even been to in my life.  If you don’t believe me, cruise down Route 76 through downtown Branson to see what your life will be like when you have a family and after you retire and have nothing else to do.  Cheesy restaurants, theme bars, and shows line the street.

Dinner and drinks at Chateau on the Lake has been my most successful bet. I have a few amazing memories from this place - I can’t even keep the smile off of my face.