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GOD DAMN FACTOR

Now you know that I love college towns, and there are two good ones just a few miles of each other—Washington State University in Pullman and the University of Idaho just across the border in Moscow, Idaho. If you ever find yourself out in the Walla Walla wine country in eastern WA or in Spokane, WA, head down to Pullman on a Thursday, Friday or Saturday. The college girls are over there - that is if you are caucasian under 25. If you’re not, this will be a tough gig.

Mikes (formerly known as Stubblefields) up on campus is always good during the school year, as well as Beaches over in Moscow.

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Pullman, WA, USA

November 12, 2021

9.0

God Damn Factor

Now you know that I love college towns, and there are two good ones just a few miles of each other—Washington State University in Pullman and the University of Idaho just across the border in Moscow, Idaho. If you ever find yourself out in the Walla Walla wine country in eastern WA or in Spokane, WA, head down to Pullman on a Thursday, Friday or Saturday. The college girls are over there - that is if you are caucasian under 25. If you’re not, this will be a tough gig.

Mikes (formerly known as Stubblefields) up on campus is always good during the school year, as well as Beaches over in Moscow.

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New York, NY, USA

November 11, 2021

8

The Doctor

New York is as big and daunting as Los Angeles, Paris, or London with an attitude to match. During the day when masses of humanity commute into the city from neighboring communities to work, the population swells to greater than four times that of the entire country of Norway.

There are 5 boroughs in New York. It is safe to ignore four of them and concentrate your efforts on Manhattan. That's where you'll see and do everything that New York is so famous for, including its female residents.

The best time to be in New York is around Christmas/Hanukah and New Years. New Yorkers are actually friendly to each other when they are in the Christmas spirit. It's even customary to tip the muggers during the Yuletide! The stores on 5th and Park Avenues are absolutely mobbed, and the New Year's Eve party in Times Square draws hundreds of thousands of people every single year from around the world.

Yes, there are beautiful women in New York, but many of them won't want to go out with anyone they don't know, because there this place is big and full of strange men. Most of the women can't tell if you're one or not, so they usually play it safe and brush off all advances. If you have seen some of the men in this city, you can understand why they may do this. Don't be discouraged. Like in any big city with a similar attitude, you can still woo a local if you're smart and put in the effort. It's infinitely easier though if a friend or acquaintance who she knows and trusts introduces you to the chick so she knows you're safe.

During the day, head to Madison Ave, 5th Ave, and Avenue of the Americas where the women will be out shopping. Key places are Henri Bendels, Bergdorf Goodman, and Barneys. To make any sort of impression, have a major trust fund and own a Ferrari. Otherwise, just look the part. Like Paris, Milan, and Madrid, there are a ton of fashion models around, although diluted in a solute of millions of other girls, many of which may not be the least bit attractive. If you're really lucky you might run into a group of them out in the Village or Soho, since they tend to hang out there together with the rest of the international model crowd.

The happening bars and clubs in the city change constantly. By the time you read this, what's hot now won't be, and clubs that will be probably don't even exist yet. But Webster Hall on East 11th between 3rd and 4th Avenues, the Tunnel on 12th Avenue and 27th' System on 13th and 3rd and the Palladium on East 14th between 3rd and 4th seem to survive year to year and are sure to be good on the weekend. Take a look at what's online before you go into the club. These clubs tend to be full of tourists. These clubs are not cheap, and there is plenty of attitude to fill clubs 10 times their size, but they are worth checking out since they are exactly the kind of clubs you would expect from a place like New York. Dress well and bring plenty of cash. These places are often divided into sections with different clientele inhabiting different sections. Sometimes the security men won't let you into certain parts of the club if you don't have the right look for that section.

There are an enormous number of places in New York that are as good as the aforementioned clubs, but perhaps less known to those who don't live here. Twilo on 27th and 10th Ave, The Cheetah Club on 21st and 5th, Opera on 21st and 12*, Kaos off of Union Square, the China Bar on 63rd, The Roxy on West 18th, Dorian's on 7th Avenue, the Spy Bar on Green Street, Merc on Mercer Street, Envy on the corner of Hudson, Touch in Times Square and Spring, Liquids on 36th and 12th are all pretty good and feature a nice variety of fine-looking chicas from all over New York and adjacent New Jersey.

The upper-East Side is just east of Central Park from about 5th Avenue to 1st Avenue and from about 40th Street to 98th Street. There are a lot of professional types who live here and more millionaires per square foot than anywhere else in the world (because they are stacked on top of each other in the skyrises)! The upper-East side is also home to the greatest collection of art museums in the United States. The Metropolitan Museum of Art, the Whitney Museum of American Art, MOMA (Museum of Modern Art), the Frick Museum, and the Guggenheim are located here. Most of New York's greatest restaurants like Aureole, Le Cirque, Daniel, Le Chantilly, Four Seasons, Fifty Seven, and Lespinasse are in the upper-East side. Both the culture and the cash so prevalent on the upper-East side will ensure a steady supply of hot women in the area at any given time.

If you prefer the uptown crowd frequented by the many good-looking, young female professionals in this city who call New York their home, head to Venue on West 38th, Prohibition, the Bowery Bar on East 4th Street, Polyesters on 8th Street (there are actually two in the city), the Ski Bar on 2nd Avenue, Brother Jimmy's on 76th and 1st, Moe's Caribbean, Iggy's, Sweet Melissa's, Bare Bar* Bar 13, Merchants on Thomas Street, the Gingerman, Jake's Dilemma on Amsterdam, the Lemon Bar, the Union Bar and Phoebe's on Columbus Ave. These places tend to have a lot of chicks relaxing having a drink with their friends, perhaps a small dance floor, and a lot of flirting going on. Unfortunately, the ratio in these places may be unfavorable for the enthusiastic guy, so be bold and daring, lest you lose out to squid with the balls to roll up on a table full of girls talking with each other and seemingly uninterested in meeting anyone.

There are also a lot of good-looking women on the upper-West side. They are mostly Jewish girls in packs of 10 to 20 who may seem totally unapproachable to you but give them a shot. If you have a Jewish friend from New York, chances are that he'll know a few of the girls in these bars and can introduce you. This is a very close-knit community in which everybody knows each other. Oftentimes, they've already hooked up with multiple individuals within the same social circle. Know someone and be a successful dentist or lawyer with a name that ends in "berg" or "stein", if at all possible. And take off that crucifix from around your neck. Save it, the tank top, and the steroids for when you go out in New Jersey.

If you are looking for the best strip clubs money can buy in New York City, head to Scores on East 60th Street, Shenanaggins, NY Dolls on Murray Street, Tens, and Flash Dancers on Broadway. A table dance will set you back $10, but they are frequently tipped much more than this by all the Wall Street types.

If you're in New York during the summertime head for the beaches in the Hamptons out on Long Island. Here you will find all of the beautiful Jewish and Italian girls you could ever want. The Hamptons is a general area on the eastern side of Long Island, including the towns of East Hampton, West Hampton, and South Hampton. In addition, Amagansett, Sag Harbour, the Moriches, Shelter Island, and Montauk are more or less considered parts of the Hamptons. South Hampton is a playground for the rich and famous, but the other towns and beaches may bring you more luck as the level of pretentiousness is far less. Generally, it's way too difficult to only come out here for the day or the evening since the traffic on the way out here is horrible on the summer weekends. It's much easier if you know someone who has a place out here where you can crash. Keep an eye out so that you don't step on any medical waste or hypodermic needles on the Hampton beaches. The girls here may have left New York City, but they didn't forget to pack their attitudes. They never leave home without them. So the same rules for New York apply out here. Dress well, know someone, be introduced or be bold and daring.

Club M80, Boom, and Tavern on Route 27/Sunrise Highway in South Hampton are the places to be come nightfall to meet the beautiful NYC chicks who abandon the heat of the city every weekend and head to the beach.

Alternatively, head to the lesser places in West Hampton like Tongue in Groove and Cassey's. Don't feel as though you are missing out if you can't make it out to the Hamptons in the summertime. This city is packed with Europeans, Americans visiting from other parts of the United States and rich girls home from college or boarding school from June through August, so there are sure to be plenty of options around.

New York City also has some of the best eats in the world. Once you meet that Wall Street girl you have always dreamed of, take her to Dim Sum Go Go, The Spotted Pig, The Magnolia Café, Per Se, Baboo, The Standard, or Mas farmhouse. Good food makes women like you more. It is a provider/hunter/gather primal instincts thing. Don't fight it. Go with it...

Tucson, AZ, USA

October 25, 2021

8.5

The Doctor

Tucson is a much smaller town than Phoenix, but it's still a hell of a lot of fun. The place to be is Speedway Boulevard where the babes at the University of Arizona roam from Thursday to Saturday. The Cage and the Chicago Bar are my favorites. TD's Show Club (Gotta love the name) and Ten's, the best titty bars in this town are also on this street. This city really slows down come summer time when school is out, and the students head home. So plan your itinerary accordingly.

Ocean City, MD, USA

November 11, 2021

8

The Doctor

If you are in Maryland from June through August check out Ocean City. This beach town is a great place since tons of girls from the city and surrounding communities of Baltimore and Washington, DC flock here in droves in the summertime.

This place is as cheesy as the Jersey shore but more compact. Every summer this place is packed with high schoolers, big-haired Baltimore girls, and the like. They're all spread out on the 10 mile stretch of beach, but you only really need to hang out by the boardwalk.

Check out Seacrets on 49th for nighttime revelry.

Corpus Christi, TX, USA

November 2, 2021

8

The Doctor

If you ever find yourself in Corpus Christi, have a bite to eat at the Hooters here, which is better during the summertime than during the school year.

Head out to Ropers on Tuesday evenings for college night during the academic year. OMG—just awesome.  It’s a typical country-western/hip-hop music scene. Very clique, so you will have to work to make it work. Don’t be shy, player.  

On Fridays, try The Reserve - right down the street.  It’s in the same complex as a strip club called The Palace, which is the best one in Corpus besides Cheetahs

On the weekends, the bars and clubs on Chapperalla Street are decent if you're into the hip-hop/urban scene.

For great results head downtown on Water Street on the weekends. Bourbon Street, Aria, Martini Bar, Whiskey River, Toxic Clicks, and the Voodoo House are pretty good. 

If you're lucky enough to getchya a date, there is nowhere else better to take her to dinner than the Republic of Texas Restaurant on the top of the Omni Bayfront Hotel. Good wine, excellent service, and jaw-dropping views.

South Padre Island, the famous spring break spot for all the southern college students who don’t go to Panama City, is pretty dead at other times of the year.

Philadelphia, PA, USA

November 11, 2021

8.5

The Doctor

Philadelphia is where the thirteen colonies ratified the Declaration of Independence and freed themselves from British rule. Maybe they knew what we do about English girls! This city is very Italian. Your competition is sporting a big-ass, cheesy gold chain, a tank top, tanning salon complexion, complete with well-moussed hair and dark jacket. I know, because a lot of my best friends are Italian, and I've seen them this way, despite all my teasing and prodding them in the direction of good taste.

The nightlife here is great though, and there are always some stunning women in the bars and clubs. These places are typical meat markets and are no place for the timid, so adjust your game accordingly and do your best to set yourself apart. That is best accomplished by walking upright, having a high school diploma, no criminal record, and driving anything other than a Camaro. Oh, and a suit would help.

During the day, if you are in the mood to check out the girls in Philly, head to University City (which looks more like a prison than a city), the home of some not-so-bad-looking girls at Drexel.

On the weekends, the places to be in Philadelphia are in and around South Street and Christopher Columbus Boulevard (called Delaware Avenue by the locals). Try Cafe Limbo and Mako's on South Street or Gothum, Spring Garden, and Rock Lobster on Christopher Columbus Blvd. Alternatively, head to the Irish Pub on Walnut St. and 20th, Trocadero on Arch Street, Xero on 4th Street, 111 on Chesnut and 3rd, Shampoo and the Bank on 8th.

Take note: the Italian girls here dress well and like to be spoiled by the men they meet while out on the town. You've got to open the wallet a little.

If you have access to a car or know someone with a ride, head just outside of Philadelphia to the Manayunk area and the River Deck Cafe for happy-hour late in the workweek.

New Orleans, LA, USA

November 11, 2021

7

The Doctor

New Orleans, Louisiana and the famed Mardi Gras celebration which happens the three weeks preceding the Lenten season in February is usually near the top of any world travelers itinerary. During the last week of Mardi Gras festivities, the city is absolutely packed. There are parades every day and drinking and merry-making all night, every night.

The recipe for having a great time at Mardi Gras is to take a bunch of your good buddies, find some hot girls, add alcohol, plastic beads, and, Voila! So what if most of the girls here aren't the most beautiful, it's worth going to Mardi Gras for the pure entertainment value of trying to see just how much you can get away with. You won't sleep, so expect an upper respiratory infection. You will hook up, so expect other types of infections if you aren't careful.

If your idea of a good time is drinking with a bunch of other guys and hitting on mostly unattractive women who like to show off their bodies, stick their tongues down your throat or get frisky for plastic beads, you're going to have a blast. Yes, big, colorful beads possessed by the revelers at Mardi Gras are to be given in exchange for all sorts of favors. If a girl likes your beads (or you, more importantly), she'll ask you what she has to do to get some of them. Or better yet, find someone you like and ask her what she's willing to do for some beads. You can ask her to do anything you want. Use your imagination.

City officials promptly put a stop to the madness at 12:00 midnight on Fat Tuesday, so don't bother staying one minute longer than that, unless you got lucky and met one of the few beautiful girls to be found in Louisiana.

A word to the wise; Be careful. Remember that New Orleans is the city where the police get busted for dealing drugs and putting contracts out on witnesses, so you can imagine what the bad guys are like.

If you visit New Orleans at any time other than Mardi Gras, which is held the three weeks before Ash Wednesday and the Lenten season every year, head down to the French Quarter for some decent food before heading to Texas and points further west. The women here aren't the most attractive, but at least they can cook.

Pat Obrien's on Saint Peter Street, Cooter's on Carrolton Ave, the Maple Leaf on Oak Street, and Miss Mae's on Magazine Street are decent bars, whenever you may visit.

The best strip club is the Gold Cup on Iberville.