October 8, 2021
Now you know that I love college towns, and there are two good ones just a few miles of each other—Washington State University and the University of Idado. If you ever find yourself out in the Walla Walla wine country in eastern WA or in Spokane, WA, head down to Pullman on a Thursday, Friday or Saturday. The college Y is great over here—that is if you are Caucasian and under 25. If you’re not, this will be a tough gig. Mikes (formerly known as Stubblefields) up on campus is always good during the school year, as well as Beaches over in Moscow. During the afternoon work out at the gym on either campus where there is more Y than you can shake a cock at. I love that German/Scandinavian look of the girls out here along with the big curves that come with them.
A lot of you may consider making road trips to Baltimore, Maryland or even Old Town Virginia, both known for being big bar towns. It's true the beer may be good, but the ratio, quantity and quality of the booty sometimes are not. The place to hang out in Baltimore early on a Friday nights when it's warm outside is Water Street. Basically it's an outdoor pavilion surrounded by bars on both sides. Here, a lot of professionals and college students come after a long week to get a jump on the weekend. While drinking on Water Street one night, with my buddies and I ran into a girl who went to school at nearby Loyola College, great place for YP by the way. She was outrageous— half-Venezuelan and half-Syrian, and her name was Gigi. (Thank heaven for little girls who look like that! As I was talking to her, she was approached by this guy who looked like something you might see on display as the "missing link" in the Museum of Natural History. It was her boyfriend, Joe, who was so ugly, I swore he had to be missing 3 pairs of the usual set of 23 human chromosomes. My hero that night was a Neanderthal, we dubbed "Joe 20". I guess sometimes the sun even shines on a dog's ass, you lucky bastard. If you're in Baltimore, Maryland between a Wednesday and a Saturday, head ten minutes North to Towson, Maryland. Towson State University along with Loyola University are great places to wander in search of beautiful girls during the day. These two schools also stock the bars on York Avenue and Joppa Road with great-looking YP. Gators and Murphy's on York Road are overflowing with hot, young scamper, especially midweek. Late week, the best bars are a little further up the road. Head to the Crease and the Charles Village Pub on the corners of York Road and Joppa Road to hit on the YP from Towson State. On the weekends head to Fells Point, a bar town on the corners of Eastern Ave and Broadway in South Baltimore, if you are in the mood to do some work. Bohagers, 723, Moby's, Greene Turtle, and Rodo's are the best bars and clubs here, along with Bay Cafe on Boston Street on Sunday afternoons, when its warm outside. When it gets late on Friday and Saturday nights, check out Club 1722 on Joppa Road, the after-hours club in Towson.
Los Angeles, California is like no other place on earth. It's so big, it defies the imagination. There are plenty of beautiful women here thanks to the multitude of universities, the movie industry (mainstream and adult), the weather, the beaches and wealth of the area. If you know someone involved with the movie industry at all, you should definitely hang out with them for a while to get a taste of that scene. The women are outrageous, and there is a virtual pornocopia of them! People complain that LA is as plastic as the fake titties in many of its female residents. (LA is the real Silicone Valley.) But I tell you, it is still the premiere destination for the traveling PB, if just for the quantity and quality of the babes here. But be careful. It's pretty easy to get sick of this place after having to deal with all the attitude, traffic jams, riots, earthquakes, fires, drive-by shootings, expensive partying and the like, so pace yourself. Hang out at the University of Southern California and the University of California at Los Angeles, the big schools in this town. Both are world renowned for their honeys. On campus and in the Westwood Village are the place to meet them. The UCLA Mardi Gras held during May of every year has women 10 times better than the real thing held in New Orleans every February. Going to a party on fraternity row at either of these universities will convince you to transfer here for sure. To scam on the honeys with enough money shop in Beverly Hills, head to the Beverly Center, Rodeo Drive and its side streets. The beaches of Newport, Manhattan, Santa Monica, Venice, Huntington and Hermosa are must-sees right after the workday ends (about 5pm) when all the women are out roller blading, jogging, biking or power walking on the boardwalks. The bars in these areas are generally very good when the weekend rolls around also. Each one of these beaches has a slightly different personality. Find the one that's right for you. My personal favorite is Manhattan Beach. It's close to UCLA, so there are sure to be women on the beach when class let's out. The bars here are excellent-- Sharks Cove, Hennesey, Mucho, Brewco, Beaches, Shellback Tavern, Rock N' Fish and The Kettle. If you are going to venture out into LA's nightlife looking for the Pamela Anderson look-alike you've always dreamt about, you had better bring some cash to throw around and dress well. This city is as big as London, New York or Paris without the mass transit system, which makes club-hopping difficult. For the best yield, head to Hollywood and Sunset Blvd.'s. Try Musso and Frank's Grill on Hollywood Blvd or the Roxbury, Argyle Hotel Bar, Bar Marmount and the Viper Room on Sunset Blvd. Alternatively, check out Formosa Cafe on Santa Monica Blvd, the Gate and Coronet Pub on La Cienega and Smalls on Melrose Blvd. Other places include Trader Vic's on Wilshire Blvd, the 3 of Clubs on Vine Street, the Lava Lounge on La Brea Ave and the Cava and Chillers— both on the 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica. There is a lot a racial tension here in LA between whites, blacks, Mexicans and various Asian groups. This could make it tough to find chicks with good attitudes who are not of your race, who will like you for who you are— not dislike you for what you are. Do your best to deal any situation that may arise, and be careful in certain neighborhoods. If a group of friendly looking gang-bangers should approach you with bricks asking directions, do yourself a favor and just stay in the car. Remember that South Central LA is the place where even the Mexican grandmothers beat the shit out of the tourists. For some energy before heading out to mack on all the ladies, eat Korean Barbeque at Oh Dae Sun or Gui Rim. Both are excellent.
After one views the oasis of women in Dallas and Austin, the traveling PB would expect to find women of similar quality in Houston. There may be an equal number of good-looking girls in all of these cities but a large proportion of the ones in Houston work in titty bars. From a statistical standpoint, Houston tops Atlanta and Phoenix by distinguishing itself as having the greatest number of titty bars per capita of any major city in the United States. These aren't tiny, seedy joints either. These titty bars are enormous with multiple floors, wide-open spaces and huge VIP rooms. I mention this, because it's oftentimes more fruitful to spend your time hitting on the dancers in their native environment, rather than trying to scam on them when they are out with their friends on the weekend and don't want to deal with men who aren't feeding them $20 bills. For the best titty bars head to Treasures (code name Big T)and the Mens Club (code name TMC) in the Galleria area or St. James (code name Church) on the north side of town by Bush Intercontinental Airport. The girls are very friendly and give extremely interactive dances. These clubs are where you'll have the best chance of hooking up. Get to know the managers here if you can, to get hooked up with free drinks, V.I.P and the dancers who worship the ground they walk on. Outside of the titty bars, most Houstonian women congregate on the multitude of bars and clubs in mid-town, downtown and the Heights—Eight, Taps, Rayne, Manor, Benjy’s, Rare, Mo’s, Rich’s, Nox, Diem, Red Door Kung Fu Cafe and Blue Label and Hugh's Hanger. Downtown Houston was the bomb years ago, but now-- not so much. There are a few places to hang though-- Flying Saucer is always packed with PB's macking on the cute waitresses in kilts. Venue is a cool dance club-- only open on the weekends-- waitresses are pretty, as is the occasional patron. After hours it's Club 1815 that brings in all the Y. After after hours, head to Mai's Restaurant to chow down on some awesome Vietnamese food and sober up with on all of the other late night party people who are there doing the same thing. Food makes drunk women horny, so this may be your last chance on any given weekend night. On Sunday-fun day head to Hudson Lounge and Brixx (where they have outdoor areas to hang out) during the day and Sanctuary at night. During the day, check out the Galleria, the big shopping district in town. There is one to match this one in Dallas further North. Alternatively, check out Rice Village by the University of the same name, on a Saturday afternoon. The University of Houston, Rice University and Houston Community College supplies the city with decent YP, so check them out if you have the chance. And if you happen to be in Houston in the spring, check out Buzz Fest in the Woodlands, where all the Y goes to listen to music at the Woodlands Pavilion after smoking weed and drinking in the parking lot. Are you into healthy, tree hugging granola chicks? Then head to the Whole Foods on Dallas and Waugh in midtown. There's a bar there and usually some pretty, professional, health conscious girls shopping right after work or the gym. If you are into the kicker bar scene (and what self-respecting PB doesn’t love hot Southern girls in Daisy Dukes?), head to Wild West on Richmond or Big Texas on the south side of town. For whatever reason, Wednesdays are the nights for kicker bars in Texas. Get out there and dance, my friends. The ladies love it. Down south of Houston you will find the small city of Webster, Texas. South of Houston, you will find the best prospects for Y. Hooters and Twin Peaks (both at Nasa Road 1 and I 45 South) have the prettiest waitresses in Houston on any given night. But be careful. It is cliquey down here. If you didn't grow up here and know everyone in the town since high school, you have to be aggressive or have a referral from someone they know and feel safe with. Otherwise, if you want to be successful with the ladies down here, you will have to put in the time. In the Woodlands just north of Houston, the places to hang out from Thursday to Saturday night is the Market Street area. Places like Bar Louie's, Bakers Street, etc.
BARS + 📸
This is the home of the Univeristy of Kentucky—a huge basketball school in a town where horse racing is a religion. Go figure. Girls are decent looking here, altough there are better college towns. On Thursdays (typically the best night for booty in college towns) try the Tin Roof and Two Keys up by campus. On the weekends, try Hugo’s, McCarthy’s, Rosebud’s, Cheapside, Redmond’s, Pulse, Silk’s and the Penguin. If you want to impress the hot college girl you just met walking around campus, take her to the Atomic Café—or better yet Bellinis. The best titty bar is Platinum Plus—it stops serving alcohol at 2am, but stays open until 4am.
Sweet North Carolina girls abound in Raliegh, North Carolina USA. Get liquored up at Total Wine before heading out on the town. That store is full of cheap, good wine at a great price. Stay at the Renaissance Hotel, eat at Solas—then head out to Tabacco Road, Sushi Blues, Bogarts and Sports Bar, which are all on Glenwood to meet the honeys from North Carolina State University (NC State). Check out campus during the day. You won't be disappointed. In nearby Charlotte, North Carolina, you will find the University of North Carolina. While on campus, wear baby blue UNC colors to fit in with the myriad of insanely UNC-loyal students on campus. If you are lucky enough to check out a UNC basketball game-- especially if they play Duke, you should definitely check it out. The Y will be drinking, in a good mood and wanting to party. Unfortunately, there will be a boat load of local PB's competing for the same girls. Be bold. Speaking of Duke. Duke University is just 8 miles away in Durham, North Carolina USA. The ladies are bright and talented, but not all that great to look at. The cities of Raliegh, Durham and Charlotte North Carolina make up a Golden triangle of cute college girls. So check them out and have some fun.
San Marcos, Texas. Home of Texas State University. This used to be a teaching college back in the day-- with an obviously disproportionately high female student population. Double Wu!! Notorious party school. Now they have their own football team, and their downtown may soon come close to their neighbors to the north in Austin, Texas. It's all arranged in a square-- literally-- a square-- downtown.
Bar 141 above Bar Fish is a crazy fun dance club, full of Y who don't mind dating older men. Harbors, Shaun Patricks (an obvious Irish Pub), Zelios, Taxis, Showdown, Vodka Street, Tap Room and Treff's Tavern (on the other side of campus) are all good from Thursday through Saturday night. Hopefully there will be a gaggle of sorority girls walk in together all dressed to the nines, who you can work your best PB moves on. I once went to visit my buddy Arta here, when he attended Texas State as a freshman. I walked into his room and he was playing video games. And through the half open door I saw half naked freshman girls in tee shirts and panties prancing around the hallways. I just about fell over. "Are you insane?", I asked him-- get your ass out there, as I smashed the video consul on the floor. Needless to say, that boy got an education that day!