November 15, 2021
Don't miss out on visiting Santa Barbara just north of LA. It's fun and packed with beautiful women from all over California. Santa Barbara, along with nearby Malibu, is where Baywatch was filmed, to give you an idea of what you're working with.
During the academic year, it's packed with gorgeous college girls. In the summertime, the less pretentious Californians come here on the weekends to get away from LA.
Santa Barbara is probably my favorite city in the US because it reminds me of the Basque country in Europe. There's a big university - the University of California at Santa Barbara out on La Isla Vista, which should be named La Isla de Chica Finita; a great nightlife, which centers in and around State Street; and beautiful girls. Half of the girls I saw on the campus of UCSB or out on State Street from Thursday through Saturday night turned my head. On top of all that, the beach on La Isla Vista is packed with UCSB girls when it's hot outside.
I went to a fraternity party on campus here one year and I almost didn't leave. Going to Harvard was definitely not worth missing out on fours years of this. And oh, did I mention? If you think the girls at UCSB were hot, take a walk over to Santa Barbara City College just off of Shoreline Beach by State Street. The girls who were too hot and not bright enough to get into UCSB are all here. Santa Barbara gets the best GDF score in the US!
These are a couple of suburbs just south of LA just off of the 405 and right by John Wayne Airport. Super small, but there are some quality women here, ranging from the relatively young professional female with her own money, to the young, pretty daughter of the rich local businessman, to divorced MILF's, to jail bait - you name it.
Taleo in Newport is a cool, hip, Mexican fusion restaurant and bar with a great happy hour during the week. If you get bored, check out The Daily Dose (or Double D, as the locals call it) - it's right across the way from Taleo. Afterward, head to La Cave in Costa Mesa. As the name implies, it is underground. It's a restaurant by day and a bar/lounge/dance club by night.
Why would you love this place? Well, it's easy. The women here appreciate older, successful, educated men since this town is full of them. Her father probably is, and you know how girls always go for guys like their fathers. So she will totally dig that Harvard ring and that degree behind your name. Happy smooching.
Stay at the Island Hotel - an oasis/paradise a short cab ride away. It's sure to impress the ladies. Really close to the Island Hotel is an area called Fashion Island with a lot of shops and restaurants. You can walk there in 8 minutes from the hotel. There you will find the rich wives, ex-wives, and daughters of the guys in this town who are totally LOADED. Find that trust fund baby and have her pay for drinks for a change. There is a Yard House here as well as an R & D Kitchen. Outside, between the big, retail clothing stores, there are great places to lounge about and people watch the passersby by with their new stuff, bought and paid for by whatever man is sponsoring their shopping spree that day.
Nearby in Irvine, CA, check out a section of town called The District which has loads of bars, restaurants, and places to hang out. If you are here in the early fall, the Taste of Newport Festival is always a good time. All the big restaurants and bars have a booth there. There is live music and beautiful girls all about, mostly working there in the booths. It's perfect.
If you love Mexican girls, this is the place for you. This is a border town with all of the problems that a border town has: crime, illegal immigrants, drug smugglers, and gunshots flying across the border from the Mexican side threatening your health and well-being. Sounds like fun doesn't it? Whatever you do in El Paso, don't be an idiot. DO NOT get convinced to visit the Mexican side of the border for any reason, unless you want to get kidnapped, killed, or worse.
Downtown El Paso is seeing a revival. It used to be a total shithole, but the old, run-down abandoned warehouses have been converted to swanky nightclubs. Brick and Mortar, Plum, and Shadow are great places to meet girls. Don't be shy and brush up on your Espanol beforehand. But take care to avoid pissing off that tattooed, heavy-set, mean-looking Mexican guy with his homies in VIP talking to his girl. You don't want to get shot heading back to your car that night. Seriously. I'm not joking.
During the day, check out the University of Texas-El Paso (UTEP) for the Y and line it up for later that evening. Besides that, don't bother trolling around looking for girls.
If you get sick of Miami's pretentiousness or can't stand that salsa and meringue echoing in your ears anymore, retreat northward to Ft. Lauderdale. There lie beautiful girls as well, but they are distinctly American. Check it out in the daytime during the academic year.
Fort Lauderdale's shopping district is centered on Sawgrass Mills and Los Olas Blvd, and there are plenty of girls here out and about.
Many of Fort Lauderdale's best clubs are located on the corners of Sunrise and North Ocean Boulevards and on the oceanfront strip along Atlantic Blvd., where the beaches, bars, and babes abide. My favorite places include Elbow Room, Hooters, LuLu’s, and Exit 66.
Downtown Lauderdale has really evolved as a place to meet women. Automatic Slims (especially on college night Thursdays during the school year), Americas Back Yard, Himmarshee, Side Bar, Brick, Briny Pub, Cayote Ugly, Hooka Bar, VooDoo (Ladies night on Thursdays) and Tarpin Bend are awesome for the ladies.
For great food and drinks early, hot waitresses, and more mature women, do Bova Prime and Yolo on Las Olas. The hottest women in Fort Lauderdale work on the weekends, so be sure you know how to hit on the help, player boy.
Las Vegas is incredible. Even more so than New York, this city is awake and alive all night, every night. Anything goes. The casinos, clubs, and strip clubs here are fantastic if you've got the cash to blow.
The weekend crowd is totally different than the weekday crowd. During the week, Vegas is full of conventioners and families on vacation from all over the world. On the weekends (especially during July and August) there are tons of revelers pouring in from all over the USA. The crowd totally changes to 20-30 somethings out to get their proverbial drink on and have a good time.
The best places to stay are The Palms and Hard Rock Hotels. Here you'll find people in the age group that you want, along with gorgeous waitresses and bartenders. The Palms actually hire hot girls just to hang around at the bars, lounges, and common areas for decoration, so if you see super hot chicks that don’t seem like they belong, it’s probably because they are working.
You can find many other hotels on Las Vegas and Paradise Blvd.'s. These hotels are monumental and have one cheesy attraction or another: Egyptian pyramids, huge water parks with dolphins, volcanoes, pirates, rain forests, and Medieval castles. As you walk or drive down the strip, you'll see them all.
There are plenty of places to party in this city. Every major hotel has clubs. The best are the Moon, Ghost Bar, and Mint at the Palms Hotel and Casino, Body English at the Hard Rock, Pure at Ceasar’s, and XS at Encore. XS is hot right now. If you want to go, get there early and get bottle service. But beware: especially on the weekends, the drunks here are plenty and annoying as hell.
There are TONS of bachelorette parties here, but these girls are tough to get with because they all guard each other.
For the hottest blackjack dealers ever, head to the Playboy Club at the Palms. They rotate the girls constantly. The Blue Martini here is good. They have their usual plethora of beautiful girls in corsets and hot pants serving you.
For a change of pace, the 1st Friday of every month, many of the locals head to the bars on Freemont Street - the old downtown Las Vegas. Everything is cheesier there though. Everything from bad imitation bands to bad Elvis impersonators about here. Not the crowd you generally want to hang out with on any other day of the month - trust me. Not even the cheaper hotel prices, cheap drinks, and cheesy light shows here would keep me around. All the big hotels also have a decent pool scene.
The hottest girls in Vegas are always the girls who are working - not the girls in from out of town. The best work at night and on the weekends. They usually moved here on a whim and found the same kind of work that every hot girl can find in Vegas - waitressing and bartending. You have got to learn how to hit on these girls.
Rehab on Sundays at the Hard Rock and the pool at the Palms on Saturdays are good. Sometimes they even have models there for your entertainment. They are usually strippers who come during the day in some smokin’ hot outfits showing off their best assets.
Here’s a hint: keep your room keys on your visits. Many clubs have preferential lines for hotel guests and many of the pools are only for guests. Flashing the hotel room keys will help you save time and aggravation if you are trying to hop around and check out various locations.
Caesar's Palace and the Venetian have the best shopping and dining options and there are always pretty ladies out there in force. The Fashion Show Mall is the place to be in the mid-late afternoons to find girls. The female staff at places like the Guess, Amber Crombie, and Fitch tend to be friendly and fine.
When you come, bring PLENTY of cash and some worthy wingmen! The girls come here in droves - huge groups, so you need to attack them in groups. Running up solo to a group of freshly tanned hotties dressed to the nines from out of town who are in Vegas to party is NOT for the faint of heart. You will find yourself in elevators with a dozen women in high heels and dresses heading out for the evening. Being in that situation is just priceless, but you have to have the balls to roll.
The strip clubs here are legendary. They will oftentimes provide transportation for you free of charge, so call ahead. If you get to know the managers, they may also comp your door fee, which can be outrageous. The best quality ones are The Spearment Rhino (door fee $50 which includes your first 2 drinks), Sapphire (door fee $30 and includes your first drink), Treasures, Seamless, and Ricks. BE CAREFUL! The working girls here are career strippers, most of whom fly in specifically to work. They are vultures - jaded and angry at the world. Nothing impresses them; they have seen and heard it all. I like to stick to the newbies. They are way more fun and open-minded. The ones who actually live in Vegas are worse. Don’t get played and go spending money unless you are going to get what you want - whatever that is.
There are several things to be aware of here. First, if you are going to gamble (which is stupid unless you are trying to impress a chick), play blackjack or poker, or if you're really cheesy, play war. These are the only games you have any chance at winning. Don’t be a punk and lose all your money. Second, taxi lines here are insane! Give yourself plenty of time to get from place to place in this city. If you get sick of Vegas, head to the suburbs or Summerland or Henderson.
Florida is the beachiest state in the union. In addition to being the only state with beaches on its Southern, Eastern, and Western borders, Florida also has its own islands in the form of the Florida Keys. Outside of spring break, Miami, Tampa/Orlando, West Palm Beach, and Ft. Lauderdale are the only places to be other than the university towns.
The Cubans, Central Americans, and South Americans run South Florida. This is where you go when you want a taste of Latin America without leaving the US and without contracting e. coli from the local water supply. You will find the women here are as they are in their native countries—hot, well-dressed, and fiery.
The places to be in Miami are Coconut Grove on the mainland and South Beach on the peninsula to the east of the mainland. This place really picks up in January and February when the South Americans take summer holiday. Remember, South of the equator, the seasons are reversed from those in the Northern Hemisphere. It doesn't slow down until May or so when people retreat to Europe or South America to escape Miami's heat and humidity.
Coconut Grove is where the more normal, less-pretentious, collegiate types hang out; although there are plenty of Latinas out and about on any given night. Downtown Coconut Grove is a collection of shops, bars, and clubs that totally kicks ass as far as the quality of booty is concerned. The University of Miami is right down the road and keeps the bars stocked with plenty of coeds, and all of the bars and clubs are within walking distance, so bar hopping is easy. Hooters, Planet Hollywood, Senor Frogs, and Monty's are all excellent.
One evening, I saw an elderly man playing Spanish guitar atop Coco Walk. A Cuban senorita, muy bonita who was about 21 years old, decided she was going to dance for the gathering crowd, and dance she did. God damn, that girl could raise the dead! Well, the old musician started to forget some of the words to his own songs. Then he fumbled some of the chords. Then he stopped all together saying that he was having chest pain and that he felt like he was going to pass out! I went over to see if he was all right and politely asked the girl if she could hold off the dancing because the old man was getting too distracted and excited!
South Beach is a bizarre place if you aren't used to the Euro scene, but thanks to the modeling industry, there are a lot of hot women here. Practically every major modeling agency has an office on Ocean Drive. Unlike other big modeling industry cities like New York, Paris, or Milan, Miami's modeling scene is small and accessible to the bold and daring gentleman. You will see beautiful models walking around in the streets, working in the boutiques or whatever. They tend to be young since most female models are often discovered in their mid-teens and wind up their careers in their early twenties.
On the weekends, girls will come to South Beach from all over Miami to party. Chili Pepper, Cameo, Bash, Surf Comber, and Groove Jet are my favorites. Unfortunately, South Beach can be as pretentious a place as LA, New York, or even Paris. Try getting into a club here if you aren't dressed the part, not accompanied by a hot chick, or not with someone the doorman knows.
The best strip club is actually in North Miami Beach and it's called Solid Gold.
Want to impress the hottie you are with? Take her to the Delano Hotel. It is pretentious and overpriced, but she will love the elaborate decorations and ambiance. The Shore Club and the Raleigh are the 2nd and 3rd best places to secure a good impression.
The best restaurants in SoBe are Nemo’s, Joes Crab House, Smith and Wellinsky’s, Nobu and Opa.
Sundays at Nicki Beach used to be legendary. They are still good. It’s a club right on the beach on the south part of the island. Troll the beach more towards the southern part of SoBe to meet the girls from the city of Miami, who are out there to catch a tan on the weekends.
The famous Ocean Drive is totally touristy. From 5th and Ocean to 12th and Ocean are full of cheesy bars and overpriced restaurants. You may see the occasional hot tourist chick here, but in general, the girls are better on Lincoln Road. Lincoln Road is a pedestrian walking street going east/west a little bit north of Ocean Drive on South Beach. Here is where the hot local girls are. Local shops, bars, and restaurants abound. Sushi Samba on Lincoln Road is one of my fav places for the local girls.
Atlantic City is great in the summertime when the mostly Italian residents of nearby Philadelphia head over here on the weekends to sunbathe on the beach during the day and party at night. The beaches aren't that great, but who cares.
The casinos here are as good as in Vegas or Monaco, and are usually full of beautiful people. Donald Trump and the Italian Mafia run all of them. Check out Trump's former jewel, the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino (previously known as then Taj Mahal), and play some blackjack. If you don't win, at least you'll drink for free and hopefully get some comps to ease the hurt of losing some potential party money.
The two best clubs here on the summer weekends are by far Boogie Nights on Boardwalk and The Pool After Dark just outside the city. They are more or less like the clubs in Philadelphia, just with freshly tanned bodies in less clothing.
Be careful with the cops in this town, they are unpredictable at times and will hassle you for seemingly no good reason. Apparently, nobody has bothered to tell them that they're patrolling the Sodom and Gomorrah of the East Coast, replete with hookers, pimps, gangsters, and muggers. But God forbid you toss the last bite of your hot dog on the Boardwalk. Just be careful, or you'll be wishing you had a Monopoly "Get out of Jail Free" card.