September 27, 2021
Great city full of stunningly gorgeous girls. The hot bars and clubs now are Spy Bar, Cafe Opera and Burns. Bierger Garten is where to stay or Hotel Rygarten-- right in the middle of the action and a short walk with your newly befriended blond bombshell to runkle for the night.
In the land of the midnight sun and floating youth hostels on ships and one of the only cities in the world where you can eat the fish you catch off of the piers in the middle of the city-- you will never feel alone, tired or sexually frustrated.
Bergen is the second largest city in Norway and is known as the "big" university town in Norway. Funny, there were more people in my 6th grade gym class than are in the whole of Bergen's University campus. Besides having some beautiful Norwegian YP, Bergen is a beautiful place. Check out the fjords, but not on a day that you forgot to take your Prozac or after a bad night of being heismanned. Jumping off one of these glacier wrinkles is a popular way for Norwegians and other Northern Europeans to commit suicide. Check out the university, if you are here freezing your ass off during the academic year. If you are here on a weekend evening anytime of the year, there are exactly two and only two places worth hanging out in, Cafe Opera on Engen and the Garage Bar on Nygardsgaten. As in all of Scandinavia, it's expensive here. Oftentimes, the Norwegians will rent vans with a large group of their friends and drive to abandoned fields to drink, since partying in the bars and clubs is so expensive. So hook up with some locals, so you don't miss out. They also have this unique tradition of making up cards with their names, addresses and phone numbers on them to give to people they meet. It's kind of like a "social" business card. They never leave home without them. If absolutely positively cannot leave Norway without seeing some half-naked Norwegian YP, head to the town of Kristiansand, probably the warmest place in this whole damn country. Unfortunately, there tend to be a lot of families, but inter-dispersed with these are local girls who are stuck working in Oslo or Bergen for the summer and can only get away to a beach close by on the weekends.
I think Arhus is much better than Copenhagen as far as YP is concerned. It's a big university town, so the girls are young, pretty and have less attitude. All the nocturnal action is concentrated in one area downtown. The best places to go are Cafe Eiffel on Store Torv, Blitz on Klostergaden and Musikcafeen on Mejlgade on the weekend. There's a beach close by to boot. Wu!. But keep in mind, this place is as dead as a Mormon tailgate party from Sunday to Wednesday, so you should definitely plan on coming during the weekend. Check out the university during the day, and pretend to look lost (whether or not that's the case) and get a pretty coed to show you around, take you to lunch in the university mensa or buy you a beer (preferably a Carlsberg or Tuborg) in a cafe or bar downtown.
Gothenburg is a little friendlier than Stockholm. It has a significant population of good-looking YP, so kindly supplied by the various universities here and a thriving modeling industry. All of the action centers on the "Avenue", Kungsports Avenue that is. It runs right down the middle of the city and there is really no reason to ever waiver off from here. Every bar on "the Avenue" is packed from Wednesday through Saturday. There really is no other reason to be in this city on any other day, except for follow up. My personal favorite is Cosmopol. The female clientele is as fine as you will find in any country and dressed appropriately for the name. This place has been around forever and undoubtedly will continue to set the standard for excellence for Gothenburg's raging nightlife for years to come. I met a Swedish waitress out on the Avenue one night. I wound up spending a week in her, or rather in her bed. She would get up in the morning and make me breakfast before going to work. As she left she would day something like, "If you leave that bed today, while I'm gone, I will make Swedish meatballs out of your testicles." No kidding, she would call during the day, and if I didn't pick up the bedroom phone on the first ring, she would get furious and demand that I wait in bed for her to return. She'd come back in the late afternoon, after going to the grocery store and prepare dinner. She was a great cook by the way. Then she would feed me, and strengthened by the meal, we would head out to the Avenue where she treated. Back at her place later on, I treated. For you really young men, head to the amusement park off of Orgryteveag in the late spring and summer time. The place is just packed with teenage girls on school trips or family vacations. If you can get them away from Mom, Dad or the chaperones, you may just get lucky and give her your own ride. The closest I ever came to doing something illegal was here. This little girl on a school trip with her fellow 8th graders boldly walked up to me and asked where I was from, since I was speaking English to one of the concession stand workers. I told her I was from New York, and her eyes lit up. Then she asked, if she could buy me a Coke, and if I could talk for a while. I said yes, and we had a nice conversation. The whole time I was thinking about all the fun I could have had growing up in this country, and how much I wished she was a few years older. By the way, I did the right thing and threw her back.
If you want to take part in a truly Swedish tradition, head to Gotland for the summer solstice, usually on or about June 21st. It's easily accessible by ferry from Stockholm. That's where all the kids go for this very important Scandinavian holiday. This is the day that traditionally Swedish girls will lose their virginity. That means, if you're lucky, your Johnson may be rising and setting and rising again in time with the midnight sun. Oh, and if you have a chance to go to the Swedish vacation towns of Dalarna or Smaland with someone who has a summer home there, do so. I heard the Swedish Y is out there in ridiculous abundance.