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GOD DAMN FACTOR

After Amsterdam and Rotterdam move onto the better university towns of Utrecht, Gronigen and Leiden. All of which are big university towns packed with beautiful and reasonable friendly Dutch chicks you have to stand on your toes to talk to. My favorite city in Holland by far is Utrecht. This place rocks in contrast to the "let's hang out and drink, talk and get stoned" mentality of the rest of Holland (save some good clubs in Amsterdam). There are some damn beautiful women here, mostly students and young professionals. The best bars and discos are situated down by the canal on Oudegracht Weerdzijde and Ouderkhof. The Shira and Sheeva Clubs here are perennial favorites, which are absolutely packed on the weekends. Like in Spain, every girl is smokin' hot, dressed well and is debunking every conceivable gravitational theory known to man, out there shaking them things on the dance floor. Wu! There is also a huge mall that is actually part of the central train station just west of here where you can scam during the day. The university is actually way out in the boon docks surrounded by farm country. Don't bother unless you are going to stay for a while. Unfortunately, the only youth hostel in this town is also way the hell out here. By you never know. You may get lucky and take a roll in the hay with one of the many fine farm girls turned collegiate coeds who are so numerous out there! The thing that struck me about this town was that fact that I had never seen more squids with gorgeous women for girlfriends anywhere else in my entire life. I met this 15-year-old Turkish kid who showed me around town one night. (The Turks are damn hospitable people by the way.) He brought me to all the good clubs, introduced me to his friends and took it upon himself to make sure that I had a good time, which of course meant I had to get runkled by one of the local chicks. We went through many gorgeous candidates that night or more accurately that morning, all of whom were eventually joined by their boyfriends who looked like they (had they lived anywhere else on Earth) should feel lucky just to masturbate while fantasizing about girls who looked this good. My new buddy, Amir, facilitated all interactions with the females out that night by making the first move on all sorties in my name. He arranged back-up, took care of many would-be Mother Theresa's guarding the entrances to their beautiful friends and also talked me up like a champion copilot. Thankfully, we met several worthy, unattached Amazon-sized, Zeena types, one of which decided to step up to the plate and make my decision of who to runkle an easy one. But hooking up with her meant that I would miss the last bus back to that damn youth hostel! Amir said, "No problem my friend!" At 4:30 in the morning, this kid rode his bike two miles out of town, picked up my stuff at the youth hostel and pedaled three miles to this chick's apartment to drop it off. It took him about an hour. He even waited patiently outside the door until the squealing stopped, mine— not hers. Remember how big these girls are. Now that my friends, is a wingman! The best time to visit is on the weekend during the school year. But there will always be plenty of booty around no mater when you visit, as there are also a ton of young professionals working in Utrecht year round.

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Utrecht, Netherlands

October 25, 2021

10.0

God Damn Factor

After Amsterdam and Rotterdam move onto the better university towns of Utrecht, Gronigen and Leiden. All of which are big university towns packed with beautiful and reasonable friendly Dutch chicks you have to stand on your toes to talk to. My favorite city in Holland by far is Utrecht. This place rocks in contrast to the "let's hang out and drink, talk and get stoned" mentality of the rest of Holland (save some good clubs in Amsterdam). There are some damn beautiful women here, mostly students and young professionals. The best bars and discos are situated down by the canal on Oudegracht Weerdzijde and Ouderkhof. The Shira and Sheeva Clubs here are perennial favorites, which are absolutely packed on the weekends. Like in Spain, every girl is smokin' hot, dressed well and is debunking every conceivable gravitational theory known to man, out there shaking them things on the dance floor. Wu! There is also a huge mall that is actually part of the central train station just west of here where you can scam during the day. The university is actually way out in the boon docks surrounded by farm country. Don't bother unless you are going to stay for a while. Unfortunately, the only youth hostel in this town is also way the hell out here. By you never know. You may get lucky and take a roll in the hay with one of the many fine farm girls turned collegiate coeds who are so numerous out there! The thing that struck me about this town was that fact that I had never seen more squids with gorgeous women for girlfriends anywhere else in my entire life. I met this 15-year-old Turkish kid who showed me around town one night. (The Turks are damn hospitable people by the way.) He brought me to all the good clubs, introduced me to his friends and took it upon himself to make sure that I had a good time, which of course meant I had to get runkled by one of the local chicks. We went through many gorgeous candidates that night or more accurately that morning, all of whom were eventually joined by their boyfriends who looked like they (had they lived anywhere else on Earth) should feel lucky just to masturbate while fantasizing about girls who looked this good. My new buddy, Amir, facilitated all interactions with the females out that night by making the first move on all sorties in my name. He arranged back-up, took care of many would-be Mother Theresa's guarding the entrances to their beautiful friends and also talked me up like a champion copilot. Thankfully, we met several worthy, unattached Amazon-sized, Zeena types, one of which decided to step up to the plate and make my decision of who to runkle an easy one. But hooking up with her meant that I would miss the last bus back to that damn youth hostel! Amir said, "No problem my friend!" At 4:30 in the morning, this kid rode his bike two miles out of town, picked up my stuff at the youth hostel and pedaled three miles to this chick's apartment to drop it off. It took him about an hour. He even waited patiently outside the door until the squealing stopped, mine— not hers. Remember how big these girls are. Now that my friends, is a wingman! The best time to visit is on the weekend during the school year. But there will always be plenty of booty around no mater when you visit, as there are also a ton of young professionals working in Utrecht year round.

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Groningen, Netherlands

November 8, 2021

8.5

The Doctor

In addition to being home to one of Holland's most popular universities, Groningen is a 'hang out in a bar, drink cheap beer, and hit on tall Dutch girls' kind of place. The main buildings of the university are just off of Academie Broer and Oude Boteringestraat. Head here during the day, walk in any direction and you are likely to run into a branch of the university since it is disjointedly spread out all over the city

All of the good bars, and I mean all of them, are on Poelestraat and Peperstraat just off of the city's main square. Go door to door to check each one out, and settle down where you find the best vibe.

The students mostly head home for the weekends, and since this is basically a university town, be sure to visit during the week.

As in most college towns, Thursday night is best. Plan your itinerary accordingly, unless you want to spend your time with the big-haired locals that take over the bar scene on the weekends.

Herestraat is the main street while runs right through the city center. It's packed with stores, places to eat, and places to meet beautiful girls from Northern Holland.

When it's warm outside, there are carnivals and outdoor markets in Vismarkt just west of here. Definitely be sure to check them out. There are an awful lot of mighty fine Dutch girls walking around.

Lisbon, Portugal

November 10, 2021

8

The Doctor

There are a lot of great things about this city, but by far my two favorites are that there are beautiful women here and it's cheap as hell to eat, sleep, and party. Many believe that Portuguese women are as beautiful as the neighboring Spanish, so I doubt you'll be disappointed when visiting. English is not spoken widely except in Algarve, but if you do OK with your Spanish, the locals will probably understand you.

Most of the Portuguese population is centered in Lisbon, but in the summertime, the favorite destination for international partygoers is definitely further south.

Here's some helpful advice: remember your manners when visiting Portugal. Portuguese men are often just as aggressive as Italians. Lots of times they get their kicks out of groping strange women in bars and clubs, which is why some Portuguese women avoid the club scene and men they don't know altogether. If you come off like a nice guy, you may get a better response. Like any other country, if you head out of the big cities where people all mistrust each other (especially foreigners) into the smaller towns, you will find more friendly and occasionally more beautiful women. If you have the opportunity to go exploring with a local who knows the area, do so and satisfy your curiosity.

Lisbon is the capital of Portugal. It's a big, crowded, dirty city with poor public transportation. Skip the sightseeing and save your strength for nighttime revelry.

Speaking of your strength, you can replenish your body's glycogen stores and the vitamins and minerals you pissed away following those bouts of drunkenness in Spain by eating some damn good food here in Lisbon. Restaurants are ridiculously cheap here, especially in Alfama, where local seafood dishes will make you forget about all of the skipped meals you had to endure in Paris. Avoid the touristy areas where restaurants charge inflated prices in exchange for the English-speaking staff and international menus and head off to the restaurants the locals frequent. The food and prices will be much better, although you may have to physically go into the kitchen and point to what you what, if you can't decipher the menu, or the waitress can't understand what the hell you are saying.

Lisbon comes alive in June with its numerous festivals and night fairs. It's a great time to meet the local girls while they're happy to be off from school and the summer is just starting.

There was a beer festival down by the port while I was here one year. It didn't compare to the sickness of Octoberfest, but all the same European beers were featured. It was something like $1.50 to gain entry, get a beer glass, and your first beer. After that, it was about $0.75 a beer. Needless to say, everybody got sloppy drunk and great times were had.

Most of the best women in this city can be found in the Bairro Alto. Walk along Rua do Carmo and Rua do Garrett to check out the babes shopping during the day.

Come nightfall, the streets in and around the Rua do Norte, Rua da Atalaia, and the Rua Diario de Noticias are the places to be. Every summer someone else decides what's hot. As in San Sebastian and Lagos, most all the nightlife is central and easily accessible, so follow the noise and check to see where the chicas are.

The best dance clubs and bars in the city include La Folie Discoteca, Tres Pastorinhos and Cena de Copos on Rua da Barroca.

Madrid, Spain

November 10, 2021

9.5

The Doctor

Now I'm the kind of guy who likes to save the best for last, but in this case, I'll make an exception. Spain is hands down one of the best countries for women in the entire world. Spanish women are beautiful, and every city in this country is full of them. Madrid, Seville, and Barcelona rock from autumn 'til spring, and the beaches of Ibiza and the Costa del Sol are crazy in the summertime. Each one of these places has its own personality and is very different. Thankfully, the one thing they have in common is being home to some damn fine chicas.

One thing to keep in mind: life is different here. The Spanish think of work as something they have to do to make money so that they can have fun when they're not working. When they get a pay raise, they cut back on their hours, so that they can have more time to enjoy themselves. Now that's a work ethic I can relate to!

Another thing to remember is that appearances are extremely important to the Spanish. You have got to look your best to do well here. That means for all you backpacking dudes, do some laundry before exploring the nightlife. Ditch the baseball cap and the Nike's, and wear long pants and decent shoes. Trust me on this one. This ain't Seattle, grunge boy! Your efforts will be well worth it.

The Spanish are definitely not shy about public displays of affection. Take a walk through Retiro Park, Madrid on a warm Saturday afternoon in the springtime. You can't walk ten feet without stepping on some Spanish couple making out hot and heavy. Some of these couples stay there and make out for hours and hours. Muchas pelotas azules [blue balls], aycaramba!).

Spanish girls are not the easiest girls to hook up with. Traditionally, they are very strictly Catholic, but the attitudes towards sex are changing, slowly. Spain, like some other European countries, has an awesome tradition which other places, like the US, Australia, and Asia, don't - members of the opposite sex kiss each other when they meet. This is a good thing, a very good thing. So while in Spain, so as not to seem like an idiot, the way you carry out a proper Spanish kiss is as follows: kiss her right cheek and then her left at such an angle that she can kiss you too. Make it seem familiar and natural to you. When I asked a Spanish girl why the Spanish kiss each cheek, she said to me, "That's so one cheek won't be jealous of the other!" A perfect answer, if I ever heard one. As is obvious with this example, the Spanish don't ignore their sexuality, they celebrate it. The rest of the world can learn an important lesson from them.

Madrid is unbelievable. It's a great party town. The people here just don't sleep, so while you're here do as the locals do and stay up - you can sleep when you're dead. This city reminds me of New York, but with better-looking women. It's big, there's loads of fun to be had, and the "city never sleeps". Unfortunately, some of the residents also have the attitude of New Yorkers. But with some effort on your part to be friendly, avoid seeming like an undesirable foreign tourist, and pulling out your high school Spanish, you're going to have a blast with the babes. Oddly enough, the one phrase I remember from high school, "Donde es la biblioteca, abuela [Where is the library, grandma?], never did get me any phone numbers.

A typical weekday for the residents of Madrid consists of getting up late, going to work or school, eating lunch, taking a siesta (very necessary in the summertime to avoid the scorching daytime heat), going back to work or school, then out for tapas (small dishes of food served at bars), then dinner, then out to the bars until around 2 am.

From Thursday 'til Sunday, the schedule is slightly modified. They'll take a nap after dinner, hit the bars around 12 am and the discos around 3 am, and then possibly after-hours clubs. That's right. I said 3 am! If they have to work the next day, they'll often just go straight from the clubs to work. This explains why the women who ride the subways in the morning oftentimes look like they just stepped off the pages of Vogue or Cosmo.

If you're actually awake during the day, check out Retiro Park, Puerta del Sol, Plaza de Santa Anna, Plaza Mayor, Placio Real, and the Prado Museum, which like the Louvre in Paris is packed with hot tourist booty, mostly from the US and Australia. Alternatively head to the shopping districts around the Calle Princesa and the Gran Via where you'll find the women shopping for even hotter outfits. Don't forget the local college girls at the University of Madrid in and around Arguelles and Moncloa. Higher education never looked so good!

The best places to go early evening are the streets off of the Plaza Mayor (especially Cuchilleros Street for its famed cave bars, which are cheap, cool, and fun), Puerta del Sol, and Plaza San Martin. The students hang out in the cheaper bars by the university, especially in Arguelles, Malasana, Chueca, and Bilboa.

Later on head to the many bars and clubs in Malasaria, Huertas, and Salamanca Districts. The names and decor change year to year, so just follow the noise or ask the locals. Try Revolver on Calle Galileo, Parador de la Moncloa on Calle Isaac Peral, Autores on Calle Campoamorum, Mykonos on Principe and Cerveceria Ratskeller, if you don't know where to start.

The discos are where everyone goes late at night, or more appropriately early in the morning. They are among the best in the entire world, as far as the quantity and quality of the patrons is concerned. Don't show up before 2 am or you will be alone sipping on $12 drinks to pass the time. The best of the best are Joy Eslava on Calle Arenal, Archy on Calle Marques de Riscal, and Club Andy Warhol's on Calle Luchana. Katmandu on Senores de Luzan, Aqualung on Paseo de la Ermita del Santa, Villa Rosa in Plaza de Santa Anna, Theatro Kapital on Calle Atocha, and Morocco on Calle Marques de Leganes are all close runner-ups. If you have a car or have access to one, check out Megacity, a huge club, which is actually outside the city limits on Centro Comercial Parque Corredor, and draws an enormous amount of people on the weekends.

Unlike other cities in Europe, it is better to stay at a hotel rather than a hostel, unless you are planning to hit on other tourists. The hotels here are generally inexpensive, and you will definitely get more for your money and a lot more privacy. Hotels anywhere around the Plaza Mayor or the Puerta del Sol will put you right in the middle of the action.

You can't go wrong visiting this country no matter what time of year it is, but be aware that things slow down just a tad in the summer months.

Sevilla, Spain

October 25, 2021

9

The Doctor

Seville is a big city with small town charm and is home to plenty of university students from Spain and other countries. It has all the class and ambiance you would expect from Spain minus the attitude of a bigger city like Madrid. All of these characteristics make Seville a perfect place to scam on Spanish women. So if you are sick of being heismanned by hot women from that city farther north, this is the place for you. After all, what's the point of being surrounded by beautiful women, if they aren't friendly? The girls here may be less "Cosmo" than Madrid, but they're just as beautiful. Seville is in a region in the South of Spain called Andalusia. They are renowned for their friendliness, very much like Americans from the Southern states. I've met girls here working in restaurants, pastry shops and bars who have fed me and gotten me drunk for nothing, just because they thought I was a good guy. Double Wu! If that isn't enough to convince you to come to Seville, take into account that the most sensuous form of dance in the entire world, the Flamenco, was created here, and most every single girl in Andalucia knows how to dance it properly. Thankfully nobody knows how to dance the Macarena! A group of Spanish girls danced for me once in the middle of a crowded square on the evening of my 22nd birthday. Without hesitation, I'd say it was the best birthday present I have ever gotten. Luckily many of the women here speak English, since it's a popular subject to study at the university. Obviously, if the communication goes smoothly, you'll increase your chances of hooking up. If you're a college or graduate student thinking about doing a semester or year of study abroad in Spain, Seville is the place. If simply just for the fact that Seville is so popular a place of ostensible study for YP from all over the world. The best places to go out in Seville are mostly down by the River Guadalquivir, Plaza Cuba, Avenue Reina Mercedes, Barrio de Santa Cruz, Barrio de Triana, Barrio de los Remedios and Plaza del Cabildo and its side streets off of the famed cathedral in the center of the city. The cafes, bars and discos down by the riverside are fantastic when the weather is nice. Students just flock here by the thousands. Try Bar Capote, Bar Latino, Q/Plaza, Chile, El Ambique, Alfonso XII and Libano, which are all on the river. The area around the cathedral is a mix of students, tourists and the younger working professionals. There are a good number of bars, eateries and clubs with different personalities and clientele. Check them out. But I'm sure wherever you go, you will have a total blast. [Invite edits] Take note: It's bad form to be roaming around the riverside area at anytime without a girl on your arm. Hemmingway called Seville one of the three most romantic cities on earth, and for good reason. You will feel like a total squid, if you are womanless in this part of the city, and like poor Ernest, you just may feel like blowing your head off! There are a couple of towns close to Seville worth mentioning briefly. Cadiz is in the very south of Spain, just a short train ride from Seville. Basically it is a big beach town where people from Seville go to escape the heat in the July and August, which make Seville completely unbearable. It's more of a place where families vacation. However there are plenty of younger Spanish babes to mack on. If you cruise the beach, you'll find a lot of them. And if you want to impress any chick, local or not, take her to Cordoba or Granada, two towns close by that are everything that is Spain. Be sure to check out their world famous orange groves, great places to hook up.

Hamburg, Germany

November 8, 2021

7.5

The Doctor

Hamburg is simply the best city in Germany to meet beautiful women. Hamburg is my favorite for two reasons: it has its own red-light district (although nowhere near as famous as Amsterdam's), and the women here are good-looking by German standards due to its proximity to Scandinavia and mixing of the gene pool. The gene pool down in the red-light district needs a little chlorine though, so be careful! On top of that, this is a hot spot for the modeling industry during the summertime, like Paris and Milan. It's expensive here, but if you really want to see the best that Germany offers as far as women are concerned, open up the wallet a be ready to drop a little cash.

The red light district centers on Herbertstrabe. This place is unique in as far as I know, it is the only place in the world (the US Navy's Tailhook bash aside) where according to municipal law women are absolutely, positively not allowed to go, unless of course, they're working. All working women have to show a permit in order to enter this neighborhood. Yes, Germans take their legal prostitution very seriously. Like Amsterdam, Honolulu, and Las Vegas this is a great place to be if you support the world's oldest profession. There is a perfect atmosphere here due to Hamburg's enormous port: lots of sailors and businessmen lonely and away from home.

If you are going to check out one strip club here, let it be Safari on the Repeerbahn. A ton of beautiful women can be found in the big shopping districts of Bleichenhof, SpitalerstraBe, and Hanseviertel, along with the multitude of cafes in and around Jungfernstieg and Gansemarkt Plazas, Grobneumarkt, Rodningsmarkt, and Rathaus Square.

The best place to go at nighttime is without a doubt the Reeperbahn in the St. Pauli District. Yes, this is where St. Pauli beer comes from. This street houses many places of ill and not so ill repute and is a hotspot for many travelers visiting Hamburg. My favorites are Grobe Freiheit 36, the Mojo Club on the Reeperbahn, and the Havana Bar by the Fish Market.

The college girls can be found by the university on Grindelalee and Schanzenstrabe, especially at Cafe Schone Aussichten on Gorch-Frock-Wall.

Milano, Italy

November 10, 2021

8.5

The Doctor

Perhaps most beautiful women in Italy live and work in cosmopolitan Milan, especially in the summer when the modeling season is in high gear. Milan is a pretentious place though, and it can be dangerous. But the babes can be outrageous!

During the day, check out Mesopotamia and its designer shops. Therein lie plenty of gals moonlighting from their preferred modeling careers.

Be sure to check out the Cathedral, the first mall in the world to be built entirely under a glass dome.

This city is quiet in the summertime unless you know anyone involved in the modeling industry and can get into private parties thrown here at all the Mafioso clubs in this town. That's because the local honeys generally escape the heat and humidity by heading to the beach.

The best nightlife in Milan can be found in the Porta Ticinese and Piazza Vetra early evening and on the Via Brera late at night. But bring a lot of money if you want to prowl the nightlife here, it's expensive. Try Madame Claude on Via Borgogna, New Zimba on Via Natale Battaglia, Plastic on Viale Umbria, or Open House on Via Carducci for a start.