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GOD DAMN FACTOR

Venice is as romantic as Seville. That means you will feel like a squid, if you don't have a chick on your arm, as you walk or wade through Venice's roads and canals. Hopefully, you will be smart enough to have brought that girl you met in the French Riviera, and who, like you, is on her way to Greece. If you haven't runkled yet for lack of ambiance than you have come to the right place. Like Paris, Venice is organized (sort of) into districts and is divided in two by the Grand Canal. The unofficial center of the city is Piazza San Marco. Also like Paris, this city isn't cheap. So be careful with the cash. During the day check out the hordes of foreigner booty visiting places like the Accademia and Basilica dei Frari. The nightlife is how you may expect it to be in a quite, romantic city, very quiet and very romantic. Check out places off of the Campo della Maddalena or the Cannaregio and follow the noise.

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Venice, Italy

October 25, 2021

8.0

God Damn Factor

Venice is as romantic as Seville. That means you will feel like a squid, if you don't have a chick on your arm, as you walk or wade through Venice's roads and canals. Hopefully, you will be smart enough to have brought that girl you met in the French Riviera, and who, like you, is on her way to Greece. If you haven't runkled yet for lack of ambiance than you have come to the right place. Like Paris, Venice is organized (sort of) into districts and is divided in two by the Grand Canal. The unofficial center of the city is Piazza San Marco. Also like Paris, this city isn't cheap. So be careful with the cash. During the day check out the hordes of foreigner booty visiting places like the Accademia and Basilica dei Frari. The nightlife is how you may expect it to be in a quite, romantic city, very quiet and very romantic. Check out places off of the Campo della Maddalena or the Cannaregio and follow the noise.

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Sevilla, Spain

October 25, 2021

9

The Doctor

Seville is a big city with small town charm and is home to plenty of university students from Spain and other countries. It has all the class and ambiance you would expect from Spain minus the attitude of a bigger city like Madrid. All of these characteristics make Seville a perfect place to scam on Spanish women. So if you are sick of being heismanned by hot women from that city farther north, this is the place for you. After all, what's the point of being surrounded by beautiful women, if they aren't friendly? The girls here may be less "Cosmo" than Madrid, but they're just as beautiful. Seville is in a region in the South of Spain called Andalusia. They are renowned for their friendliness, very much like Americans from the Southern states. I've met girls here working in restaurants, pastry shops and bars who have fed me and gotten me drunk for nothing, just because they thought I was a good guy. Double Wu! If that isn't enough to convince you to come to Seville, take into account that the most sensuous form of dance in the entire world, the Flamenco, was created here, and most every single girl in Andalucia knows how to dance it properly. Thankfully nobody knows how to dance the Macarena! A group of Spanish girls danced for me once in the middle of a crowded square on the evening of my 22nd birthday. Without hesitation, I'd say it was the best birthday present I have ever gotten. Luckily many of the women here speak English, since it's a popular subject to study at the university. Obviously, if the communication goes smoothly, you'll increase your chances of hooking up. If you're a college or graduate student thinking about doing a semester or year of study abroad in Spain, Seville is the place. If simply just for the fact that Seville is so popular a place of ostensible study for YP from all over the world. The best places to go out in Seville are mostly down by the River Guadalquivir, Plaza Cuba, Avenue Reina Mercedes, Barrio de Santa Cruz, Barrio de Triana, Barrio de los Remedios and Plaza del Cabildo and its side streets off of the famed cathedral in the center of the city. The cafes, bars and discos down by the riverside are fantastic when the weather is nice. Students just flock here by the thousands. Try Bar Capote, Bar Latino, Q/Plaza, Chile, El Ambique, Alfonso XII and Libano, which are all on the river. The area around the cathedral is a mix of students, tourists and the younger working professionals. There are a good number of bars, eateries and clubs with different personalities and clientele. Check them out. But I'm sure wherever you go, you will have a total blast. [Invite edits] Take note: It's bad form to be roaming around the riverside area at anytime without a girl on your arm. Hemmingway called Seville one of the three most romantic cities on earth, and for good reason. You will feel like a total squid, if you are womanless in this part of the city, and like poor Ernest, you just may feel like blowing your head off! There are a couple of towns close to Seville worth mentioning briefly. Cadiz is in the very south of Spain, just a short train ride from Seville. Basically it is a big beach town where people from Seville go to escape the heat in the July and August, which make Seville completely unbearable. It's more of a place where families vacation. However there are plenty of younger Spanish babes to mack on. If you cruise the beach, you'll find a lot of them. And if you want to impress any chick, local or not, take her to Cordoba or Granada, two towns close by that are everything that is Spain. Be sure to check out their world famous orange groves, great places to hook up.

Rotterdam, Netherlands

November 12, 2021

8

The Doctor

Rotterdam is a much more laid-back place than Amsterdam. People here like to hang out, listen to live music, kick back with a beer, and chill.

This used to be a large port town. These days the biggest imports tend to be drugs like heroin or ecstasy. I was walking along the pier one night and saw a bunch of people trying to step around this guy lying face down on the pavement, whacked out of his mind on drugs. I decided to play doctor and went over to see if I could help out. His sister was standing over him trying to revive him. An ambulance came. I got an IV started and gave him a shot of naloxone, and he perked right up. His sister thanked me, gave me her number, and we spent the rest of the weekend together!

Check out Oude Haven and Nieuwe Binnenweg and walk the streets in search of your very own Dutch goddess in the stores, restaurants, and cafes so numerous in these areas. Head to Westerpaviljoen on Matheneserlaan, Night Town on West Kruiskade, or Beat Corner on Gravendijkwal - you won't be disappointed.

Cannes, France

November 2, 2021

9

The Doctor

Cannes has much better beaches than Nice for two reasons: the first is because the beaches are actually made of sand, and the second is the women on the beach are topless. The beaches here are almost enough to redeem your bad feelings about France after visiting Paris. I said almost!

The Boulevard de la Croisette and rue d'Antibes are the main drags and are lined with expensive stores, expensive cars, and expensive hotels. Check out Jane's on rue des Serbes come nightfall.

The famous Cannes Film Festival takes place here every May. If you want to make friends, you can always speak English really loudly in the cafes, wear a baseball cap in the restaurants or throw around a football on the beach.

Utrecht, Netherlands

October 25, 2021

10

The Doctor

After Amsterdam and Rotterdam move onto the better university towns of Utrecht, Gronigen and Leiden. All of which are big university towns packed with beautiful and reasonable friendly Dutch chicks you have to stand on your toes to talk to. My favorite city in Holland by far is Utrecht. This place rocks in contrast to the "let's hang out and drink, talk and get stoned" mentality of the rest of Holland (save some good clubs in Amsterdam). There are some damn beautiful women here, mostly students and young professionals. The best bars and discos are situated down by the canal on Oudegracht Weerdzijde and Ouderkhof. The Shira and Sheeva Clubs here are perennial favorites, which are absolutely packed on the weekends. Like in Spain, every girl is smokin' hot, dressed well and is debunking every conceivable gravitational theory known to man, out there shaking them things on the dance floor. Wu! There is also a huge mall that is actually part of the central train station just west of here where you can scam during the day. The university is actually way out in the boon docks surrounded by farm country. Don't bother unless you are going to stay for a while. Unfortunately, the only youth hostel in this town is also way the hell out here. By you never know. You may get lucky and take a roll in the hay with one of the many fine farm girls turned collegiate coeds who are so numerous out there! The thing that struck me about this town was that fact that I had never seen more squids with gorgeous women for girlfriends anywhere else in my entire life. I met this 15-year-old Turkish kid who showed me around town one night. (The Turks are damn hospitable people by the way.) He brought me to all the good clubs, introduced me to his friends and took it upon himself to make sure that I had a good time, which of course meant I had to get runkled by one of the local chicks. We went through many gorgeous candidates that night or more accurately that morning, all of whom were eventually joined by their boyfriends who looked like they (had they lived anywhere else on Earth) should feel lucky just to masturbate while fantasizing about girls who looked this good. My new buddy, Amir, facilitated all interactions with the females out that night by making the first move on all sorties in my name. He arranged back-up, took care of many would-be Mother Theresa's guarding the entrances to their beautiful friends and also talked me up like a champion copilot. Thankfully, we met several worthy, unattached Amazon-sized, Zeena types, one of which decided to step up to the plate and make my decision of who to runkle an easy one. But hooking up with her meant that I would miss the last bus back to that damn youth hostel! Amir said, "No problem my friend!" At 4:30 in the morning, this kid rode his bike two miles out of town, picked up my stuff at the youth hostel and pedaled three miles to this chick's apartment to drop it off. It took him about an hour. He even waited patiently outside the door until the squealing stopped, mine— not hers. Remember how big these girls are. Now that my friends, is a wingman! The best time to visit is on the weekend during the school year. But there will always be plenty of booty around no mater when you visit, as there are also a ton of young professionals working in Utrecht year round.

Barcelona, Spain

November 1, 2021

9.5

The Doctor

Barcelona is another Spanish city that just rocks. It's situated in the Northeast of the Iberian Peninsula in a region of Spain called Catatonia. The advantage this city has over other big cities in Spain is that it has a beach. Now it's not a really beautiful beach, but a beach nonetheless. This means that in addition to the great nightlife typical of other Spanish cities, there are tons of beautiful Spanish girls sunbathing on the shores of the city on warm summer days. After experiencing a day at the beach in Barcelona, I dare any country, except maybe the United States, to claim that its women are more attractive than the Catalonians.

In the summertime, definitely head to the beach during the day to flirt with the ladies. Spanish is understood, although of course, they prefer speaking Catalan.

The best places to go early night in Barcelona can be found in a variety of places on Las Ramblas, Barri Gotic, the Placa Reial, Placa Catalunya, Cuitat Vella, and Port Olympic. They are all lined with pubs and bars and tons of people. Check out Districo Maritimo on Moll de la Fusta, Pachito in Puerto Olympic, Polyester on Estacio de Franca, Flat Cat on Calle Teodora la Madrid, Partycular on Auda Tibidabo, El Otro on Calle Valencia, Cafe Zurich on Placa Catalunya, Cafe de 1' Opera on Las Rablas and On/Off on Cami de la Fuxarda.

The best discotecas in the city include New York on Calle Escudellers, La Linea 6,25 on Calle Enric Grandees, Nits on Placa Joan Llongueres, Otto Zutz Club on Calle Lincoln, Apolo on Calle Nov de Rambla, and Karma in Placa Reial. Don't bother going out before 2 am and beware of the club employees, especially the bouncers who guard the entrances, who have attitudes that put the Madrid security to shame.

Some helpful hints on how to get into a club in Barcelona hassle-free: dress well, go with a group (preferably one which includes women) and go with someone who speaks Catalan. If you are not a local, they'll know it and possibly charge you a higher cover charge and price for drinks. Apparently, some Spaniards still recall Charles Barkley's nasty display at the '92 Summer Olympics in Barcelona, and no "les gustan los ugly Americanos!" Do your best to deal calmly with any situations that arise.

Barcelona is also big on warehouse parties and carpas, outdoor parties under tents in a wide-open space somewhere. You definitely have to ask a local about these, their dates, and locations. El Submari on Calle Fernando Poo and Firestiu on Placa de 1' Univers are where they have been held in the past. They are definitely very popular, so if the word is that all the locals are headed there on a certain night, check it out.

If you do only one touristy thing while you're in Spain, let it be a visit to Montjuïc (Mountain of the Jews), where the 1992 Olympic Games were held.

Marbella, Spain

November 10, 2021

9.5

The Doctor

The Costa del Sol is kind of like the Jersey Shore. If you've ever been to this area of the US you'll know what I mean. As Lionel Richie might say, "It's cheesy like Sunday morning." This place is not for the lactose intolerant!

Nonetheless, Marbella and the Costa del Sol attracts sun-worshipping Scandinavians, Spaniards, and other Europeans year after year. If you look good in a bathing suit, you will really do well here. After a few minutes on any Spanish beach, you will realize why you had so much trouble trying to find a weight room in Seville; Spanish men do not work out. If you've got some pecs, blonde hair, and a six-pack, you may find a group of Spanish or European girls looking over at you, whispering to each other and checking you out. But remember, no proper Spanish girl will ever approach a man she doesn't know. However, when they congregate into little groups, their collective testosterone may be enough for them to muster up the courage to say hello. You'll have to do the work from then on and run the sortie.

There's a lot less attitude here as compared to places like Ibiza and a lot more people like you who just want to get tan, drink, hang out, and have a good time.

Hotels are expensive here, so stay at hostels. My favorite is Hostel del Pilar on Calle Mensoncillo. There you will find the best group of young adults in all of Marbella. Everyone here wants to have a good time. It's located in the old town where there are lots of bars and old cobblestone streets which remind me of South Street Seaport in New York but acts like South Beach, Miami, Florida.

Here's what you do: From 10 pm to midnight, head to the bars around the Puerto Deportivo. From midnight to 3 am head to the small bars and discos down by the waterfront by the Old Marbella Piers. If you want, head to the next town over, Porta Venus (about $10US for a taxi ride), and to the bars by its peer. Here you'll find an older and more expensive scene, but the babes abound. From 3 am to 9 am head to the biggest and best disco "Old Marbella" located in a huge hotel. This is the place. There are tons and tons of people here ready to dance and grind the night away, and a private beach to boot!