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GOD DAMN FACTOR

Washington DC is of course the capital of the United States of America, a big college town, and the city where even the President can get some, whenever he wants it. There are tons of international chicks here thanks to all the foreign embassies, which add some variety to the local mix. Consequently DC rivals New York for boasting the most international residents on the East Coast. The city is divided into four zones. If you don't want to get shot, stabbed, mugged, or do crack and run for Mayor, stick to the safe and fun-filled Northwest area of town. There is a good amount of YP here in DC. owing to the many universities in the area, such as Georgetown University, George Washington University, The University of Maryland and especially Northern Virginia Community College (NoVa for short) just South of D.C. in Annadale, Virginia. Check them out during the day. Most of the action is on M Street starting from around Wisconsin Ave heading East to Connecticut Ave. Third Edition on Winconsin along with Garret' and LuLu's on M Street, The Sports Bar***, Decades on 9th and E, and the Mad Hatter*** are usually good, as are the clubs in the "golden triangle". The best titty bar in the city is Camelots on M Street. The hottest dance club is Tracks on the corner of 1st and M Streets. But be careful. It's gay on some nights, so unless you want to be doing the Macarana with Bubba and friends, I suggest you ask ahead of time. Fifth Column on F Street, the Insect Club on E Street and the Z Club on Z Alley and the Spy Club on 15th Street are also excellent. These are the bars with the South American chicas, who really like to dance. Adams Morgan is a very international neighborhood with plenty of bars and restaurants in which to party, but the ratio tends to be poor. Check out Club Heaven and Hell on 18th Street for cheesy 80's dancing and horny 20-something girls. Head to the cafes and clubs on the Harbor for post-collegiate beauties who are looking for a man with a future. Try Sequoia, if you want to land a gold-digger and don't mind sharing a bar with Euro-fag assholes who pull up to the harbor in their daddy's yacht. You might expect all the YP to leave town, when school lets out for the summertime. Think again. The city is packed with senatorial want-to-be's interning on Capitol Hill for their congressman or some federal agency. And if fat, 60 year-old senators successfully hook up with these bright-eyed naive patriots, you should have no problem. There are plenty Of intern parties also, usually thrown by students from a particular school who are rooming together in a house North of M street in Georgetown ("the G-spot"). Word gets around pretty fast and these parties can be a blast. The Fourth of July in Washington, DC kicks ass with a huge party on the "mall", the big green lawn in the shadow of the Washington Monument. In nearby Reston Virginia, the place to be is Market Street. Clydes, Tap Room, Pizzaria Uno, and shops like BeBe are the places to find the Y.

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Washington D.C., USA

October 8, 2021

8.0

God Damn Factor

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Washington DC is of course the capital of the United States of America, a big college town, and the city where even the President can get some, whenever he wants it. There are tons of international chicks here thanks to all the foreign embassies, which add some variety to the local mix. Consequently DC rivals New York for boasting the most international residents on the East Coast. The city is divided into four zones. If you don't want to get shot, stabbed, mugged, or do crack and run for Mayor, stick to the safe and fun-filled Northwest area of town. There is a good amount of YP here in DC. owing to the many universities in the area, such as Georgetown University, George Washington University, The University of Maryland and especially Northern Virginia Community College (NoVa for short) just South of D.C. in Annadale, Virginia. Check them out during the day. Most of the action is on M Street starting from around Wisconsin Ave heading East to Connecticut Ave. Third Edition on Winconsin along with Garret' and LuLu's on M Street, The Sports Bar***, Decades on 9th and E, and the Mad Hatter*** are usually good, as are the clubs in the "golden triangle". The best titty bar in the city is Camelots on M Street. The hottest dance club is Tracks on the corner of 1st and M Streets. But be careful. It's gay on some nights, so unless you want to be doing the Macarana with Bubba and friends, I suggest you ask ahead of time. Fifth Column on F Street, the Insect Club on E Street and the Z Club on Z Alley and the Spy Club on 15th Street are also excellent. These are the bars with the South American chicas, who really like to dance. Adams Morgan is a very international neighborhood with plenty of bars and restaurants in which to party, but the ratio tends to be poor. Check out Club Heaven and Hell on 18th Street for cheesy 80's dancing and horny 20-something girls. Head to the cafes and clubs on the Harbor for post-collegiate beauties who are looking for a man with a future. Try Sequoia, if you want to land a gold-digger and don't mind sharing a bar with Euro-fag assholes who pull up to the harbor in their daddy's yacht. You might expect all the YP to leave town, when school lets out for the summertime. Think again. The city is packed with senatorial want-to-be's interning on Capitol Hill for their congressman or some federal agency. And if fat, 60 year-old senators successfully hook up with these bright-eyed naive patriots, you should have no problem. There are plenty Of intern parties also, usually thrown by students from a particular school who are rooming together in a house North of M street in Georgetown ("the G-spot"). Word gets around pretty fast and these parties can be a blast. The Fourth of July in Washington, DC kicks ass with a huge party on the "mall", the big green lawn in the shadow of the Washington Monument. In nearby Reston Virginia, the place to be is Market Street. Clydes, Tap Room, Pizzaria Uno, and shops like BeBe are the places to find the Y.

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Pullman, WA, USA

October 8, 2021

9

The Doctor

Now you know that I love college towns, and there are two good ones just a few miles of each other—Washington State University and the University of Idado. If you ever find yourself out in the Walla Walla wine country in eastern WA or in Spokane, WA, head down to Pullman on a Thursday, Friday or Saturday. The college Y is great over here—that is if you are Caucasian and under 25. If you’re not, this will be a tough gig. Mikes (formerly known as Stubblefields) up on campus is always good during the school year, as well as Beaches over in Moscow. During the afternoon work out at the gym on either campus where there is more Y than you can shake a cock at. I love that German/Scandinavian look of the girls out here along with the big curves that come with them.

Lexington, KY, USA

October 8, 2021

8

The Doctor

This is the home of the Univeristy of Kentucky—a huge basketball school in a town where horse racing is a religion.  Go figure.  Girls are decent looking here, altough there are better college towns.  On Thursdays (typically the best night for booty in college towns) try the Tin Roof and Two Keys up by campus.  On the weekends, try Hugo’s, McCarthy’s, Rosebud’s, Cheapside, Redmond’s, Pulse, Silk’s and the Penguin.  If you want to impress the hot college girl you just met walking around campus, take her to the Atomic Café—or better yet Bellinis.  The best titty bar is Platinum Plus—it stops serving alcohol at 2am, but stays open until 4am.

Gadsden, AL, USA

October 8, 2021

7.5

The Doctor

Gadsden, Alabama, USA. Small town. Confederate flag hanging from many of the homes. Not much to do out here besides fish and eat catfish. Cute red-neck girls out here due to a couple of smaller community colleges in the area. Lots of MILF's. Live music is huge here. Just about every bar and club has a cover of about $10. By far the best Y will be found at a cool, hip lounge called Twisted at 504 Broad Street. You would never think a place this nice would be in the middle of Gadsden, Alabama, but it is and the girls LOVE IT. Go get 'em, Tiger.

The Chestnut Saloon has live music and cute country girls drinking at the bar, but it's loud and hard to talk to the ladies at times. Dr. Feel Goodz is a another place to meet the older single mother type ladies. (No thanks. I'll pass.) However the club does tend to redeem itself with the jello wrestling contests. There another place to meet older single mother types is a tiny country bar with a big attitude, the Wagon Wheel. After hours, there is After Life, a members only dance club open until 5am.

Atlantic City, NJ, USA

October 8, 2021

8.5

The Doctor

Atlantic City is great in the summertime when the mostly Italian residents of nearby Philadelphia head over here on the weekends to lie and the beach during the day and party at night. The beaches aren't that great, but who cares. The casinos here are as good as in Vegas or Monaco as far as them being patroned by hot chicks. Donald Trump and the Italian Mafia run all of them. Check out Trump's jewel, the Taj Mahal and play some blackjack. If you don't win, at least you'll drink for free and hopefully get some "comps" to ease the hurt of losing some potential party money. The two best clubs here on the summer weekends are by far South Beach on Amherst Avenue just outside the city limits and Deja Vu on South New York Avenue. They are more or less like the clubs in Philadelphia just with freshly tanned bodies in less clothing. Be careful with the cops in this town, they are unpredictably anal at times and will hassle you for seemingly no good reason. Apparently, nobody has bothered to tell them that they're patrolling the Sodom and Gomorrah of the East Coast, replete with hookers, pimps, gangsters and muggers. But God forbid you toss the last bite of your hot dog on the Boardwalk. Just be careful, or you'll be wishing you had a "Get out of Jail Free" card from Monopoly.

Houston, TX, USA

October 8, 2021

8

The Doctor

After one views the oasis of women in Dallas and Austin, the traveling PB would expect to find women of similar quality in Houston. There may be an equal number of good-looking girls in all of these cities but a large proportion of the ones in Houston work in titty bars. From a statistical standpoint, Houston tops Atlanta and Phoenix by distinguishing itself as having the greatest number of titty bars per capita of any major city in the United States. These aren't tiny, seedy joints either. These titty bars are enormous with multiple floors, wide-open spaces and huge VIP rooms. I mention this, because it's oftentimes more fruitful to spend your time hitting on the dancers in their native environment, rather than trying to scam on them when they are out with their friends on the weekend and don't want to deal with men who aren't feeding them $20 bills. For the best titty bars head to Treasures (code name Big T)and the Mens Club (code name TMC) in the Galleria area or St. James (code name Church) on the north side of town by Bush Intercontinental Airport. The girls are very friendly and give extremely interactive dances. These clubs are where you'll have the best chance of hooking up. Get to know the managers here if you can, to get hooked up with free drinks, V.I.P and the dancers who worship the ground they walk on. Outside of the titty bars, most Houstonian women congregate on the multitude of bars and clubs in mid-town, downtown and the Heights—Eight, Taps, Rayne, Manor, Benjy’s, Rare, Mo’s, Rich’s, Nox, Diem, Red Door Kung Fu Cafe and Blue Label and Hugh's Hanger. Downtown Houston was the bomb years ago, but now-- not so much. There are a few places to hang though-- Flying Saucer is always packed with PB's macking on the cute waitresses in kilts. Venue is a cool dance club-- only open on the weekends-- waitresses are pretty, as is the occasional patron. After hours it's Club 1815 that brings in all the Y.  After after hours, head to Mai's Restaurant to chow down on some awesome Vietnamese food and sober up with on all of the other late night party people who are there doing the same thing.  Food makes drunk women horny, so this may be your last chance on any given weekend night.  On Sunday-fun day head to Hudson Lounge and Brixx (where they have outdoor areas to hang out) during the day and Sanctuary at night. During the day, check out the Galleria, the big shopping district in town. There is one to match this one in Dallas further North. Alternatively, check out Rice Village by the University of the same name, on a Saturday afternoon. The University of Houston, Rice University and Houston Community College supplies the city with decent YP, so check them out if you have the chance. And if you happen to be in Houston in the spring, check out Buzz Fest in the Woodlands, where all the Y goes to listen to music at the Woodlands Pavilion after smoking weed and drinking in the parking lot. Are you into healthy, tree hugging granola chicks? Then head to the Whole Foods on Dallas and Waugh in midtown. There's a bar there and usually some pretty, professional, health conscious girls shopping right after work or the gym. If you are into the kicker bar scene (and what self-respecting PB doesn’t love hot Southern girls in Daisy Dukes?), head to Wild West on Richmond or Big Texas on the south side of town.  For whatever reason, Wednesdays are the nights for kicker bars in Texas.  Get out there and dance, my friends.  The ladies love it. Down south of Houston you will find the small city of Webster, Texas. South of Houston, you will find the best prospects for Y. Hooters and Twin Peaks (both at Nasa Road 1 and I 45 South) have the prettiest waitresses in Houston on any given night. But be careful. It is cliquey down here. If you didn't grow up here and know everyone in the town since high school, you have to be aggressive or have a referral from someone they know and feel safe with. Otherwise, if you want to be successful with the ladies down here, you will have to put in the time. In the Woodlands just north of Houston, the places to hang out from Thursday to Saturday night is the Market Street area. Places like Bar Louie's, Bakers Street, etc. 

 

*LIT💃🏻*

BARS/PUBS

  • ◦ Einstein’s Pub & Arcade
  • ◦ ReBar
  • ◦ Rabbit’s got the gun
  • ◦ Extra Credit Rooftop Bar
  • ◦ Sunset Rooftop
  • ◦ Clutch bar
  • ◦ Howl at the Moon
  • ✓ Lincoln
  • ✓ Henke & Pilot
  • ✓ Unicorn Disco
  • ✓ Electric Feel Good
  • ✓ Little Woodrow’s 🎮
  • ◦ Cidercade 🎮
  • ✓ For Amusement Only 🎮
  • ◦ Kung Fu Saloon 🎮
  • ◦ Tea‘ze Daiquiri Lounge 🎮
  • ◦ Loft 18 🎮
  • ◦ City Orchard Cidery
  • ◦ Pete’s Dueling Piano Bar
  • ✓ Bovine & Barley
  • ✓ El Big Bad
  • ◦ Concrete Cowboy
  • ✓ Baker St
  • ✓ Bar Louie
  • ◦ Ghost Lounge

& dancing

  • ✓ Therapy
  • ◦ Fabian’s
  • ◦ Rise Rooftop
  • ◦ Pour Behavior

FANCIER BARS

  • ◦ Trez Art & Wine Bar
  • ◦ Chapman & Kirby
  • ◦ Upstairs
  • ◦ High & Dry
  • ◦ Sugar Room
  • ◦ Permission Whiskey
  • ◦ Lilly & Bloom
  • ◦ Postino Wine Cafe

BARS + 📸

  • ◦ Secret Garden
  • ✓ Buffalo Bayou Brewing
  • ◦ Wonder Bar
  • ◦ HER lounge
  • ◦ Z on 23 Rooftop
  • ◦ 77 Degrees Rooftop
  • ◦ Sunset Rooftop
  • ◦ Lei Low!
  • ◦ Kanaloa [Tiki Bar]
  • ◦ The toasted coconut
  • ◦ Present Company
  • ✓ Electric Feel Good
  • ◦ Handlebar
  • ◦ Dahlia

LIT/CHILL

  • ✓ Prospect Park
  • ✓ Seaside Lounge
  • ✓ Diablo Loco
  • ✓ Ojos locos
  • ✓ Bombshells
  • ✓ Twin Peaks
  • ✓ Hooters
  • ✓ Pluckers
  • ✓ The Address
  • ◦ Amahle
  • ◦ Parma
  • ◦ Pub Fiction
  • ◦ Bottled Blonde
  • ◦ Bar 2200
  • ◦ Atomic Bottle
  • ◦ Chula’s
  • ◦ A’Dor
  • ◦ Kamp
  • ◦ The local seat
  • ◦ Uptown Lounge
  • ◦ O2 lounge

CHILL

  • ◦ Wicklow Heights
  • ◦ Post Oak Ice House
  • ◦ Kirby Ice House Memorial
  • ◦ Holman Draft Hall!
  • ◦ Mcintyre’s
  • ◦ Eighteen 36
  • ◦ East End Backyard
  • ◦ Spring Street Bar and Wine Garden !
  • ◦ Lost & Found
  • ◦ City Orchard Brewery
  • ◦ Preslee’s
  • ◦ La Grange
  • ◦ Bar Boheme
  • ◦ Hop Heads
  • ◦ Moon Tower Inn
  • ◦ Cedar Creek
  • ◦ Coltivare
  • ◦ Piggy’s
  • ◦ Drift
  • ◦ The Rustic
  • ◦ The Pub Fountains
  • ✓ Pitch 25
  • ✓ Heights Bier Garten
  • ✓ Social beer garden
  • ✓ FM kitchen and bar
  • ✓ Truckyard
  • ✓ Axelrad
  • ✓ Avant-garden

DRINKS

  • ✓ Eskimo Hut
  • ✓ Daiquiris To Go
  • ✓ The Candy Shack 🎮
  • ◦ Tropical Daiquiris 🎮
  • ◦ Prime Daiquiri
  • ✓ Bourbon St. Daiquiris
  • ✓ Torchy’s
  • ✓ BJ’s
  • ◦ Airport Daiquiris [Exotic Pop]
  • ◦ OST Liquor Store [TikTok]
  • ◦ 12805 Cullen Blvd [Black owned]

*🏳️‍🌈*

  • ✓ Blur
  • ◦ Crystal
  • ✓ JR’s
  • ◦ Buddy’s
  • ✓ Rich’s
  • ◦ Eagle
  • ◦ Pearl’s

STRIP

  • ◦ Pole Katz
  • ◦ Treasures
  • ◦ Chica’s
  • ◦ Ritz
  • ◦ Gold Diggers
  • ◦ Bucks Wild
  • ◦ Pleasure’s
  • ◦ Center Folds
  • ◦ Halo
  • ◦ Onyx
  • ◦ Queen of hearts
  • ◦ Crazy Bull
  • ◦ Vivid Gentlemen’s Club
  • ◦ The Men’s Club
  • ◦ XTC cabaret :)
  • ✓ Bunny’s

CLUBS

  • ◦ Story Ultralounge
  • ◦ Magic After hours
  • ◦ Grooves
  • ◦ South Beach Houston
  • ◦ Taste Thursday’s - Cle
  • ◦ Gilt Friday’s - Engine Room
  • ◦ Status Friday’s
  • ◦ Cake Bakery and Bar Friday’s
  • ◦ Latin Friday’s - Lumen
  • ◦ Gavanna
  • ◦ Suede Saturday’s - Engine Room
  • ◦ Hip hop Saturday’s - Lumen
  • ◦ Aura Saturday’s
  • ◦ Dior Saturday’s
  • ◦ Eve Sunday’s / Axis and Alibi
  • ◦ iClub
  • ◦ Club HTX
  • ◦ Barbarella’s
  • ✓ Heart
  • ◦ Cle
  • ✓ Vault
  • ✓ Mercy
  • ✓ Space
  • ◦ Gravity
  • ◦ Tropicana
  • ◦ Volcan
  • ◦ Escapade
  • ◦ Vertigo
  • ✓ Metropolis
  • ✓ Spire
  • ✓ Set
  • ◦ Mynt
  • ◦ Live Oak
  • ◦ Rosemont

Columbia, SC, USA

October 8, 2021

8.5

The Doctor

Home of the University of South Carolina Game Cocks, baby! Haha… I just love saying that. So this city is a college town with a little more to it. Wet Willies (for those high octane frozen drinks), Flying Saucer (with their smoking, hot waitresses), JilliansLiberty Tap,Mushroom,  and Wild Hare Sports Bar (where most of the locals hang out) are great places to meet the ladies. They are all in a section of town called Vista, a more professional part of town but the college girls over 21 will come here, if not to party, then to work as waitresses and bar tenders.

Five Points is where more of the YP hangs out. It’s not too far from campus—just down Blossom. Cheaper bars with drink specials and college nights—places like Sharky’sLocalsLucky’s, etc. There’s a two story Starbucks and of course a Pita Pit to score late night munchies to soak up the alcohol! Both great places to meet the Y. 

On campus of course the hotties abound. The girls here got some junk in the trunk—especially the white girls! Go figure. The campus gym is amazing. Sneak in and work out and meet some the Y on the stair master. After you’re done with the work out, mingle with the girls over at Yoghut. It’s a cool frozen yogurt place that the girls totally love—and it’s right next to campus. Stay at the Sheraton downtown. It used to be an old-school bank— with a mechanized vault and all. The girls will totally dig it. Best restaurant in the city is the Blue Marlin— a great place for a date with that beautiful girl you met last night. Impressive entrance and good eats. You can always take a girl to nearby Augusta, Georgia, where fat, old, rich men play golf. Stay at the Marriot and eat at the Maison Restaurant-- owned and run by an old German Chef. Nice and romantic.