October 8, 2021
Geez us… There are some beautiful, corn-fed, white women our here in the American heart land. Stay at the Hyatt Hotel, if you can. It's pretty and new and has a decent bar for a hotel chain. Besides-- it’s the nicest hotel in town and adjacent to downtown-- like within walking distance. Swade’s is a nice classy club—on Fridays it's Latino night and on Saturdays it'ss hip hop night.
Heroes is a huge relatively new hot spot in town. Avoid Indigo—unless you like fat, tatted up dark skinned girls with stretch marks, gold teeth and fake hair. For the complete opposite experience, check out Doc Howard’s on a Thursday night. That is whenever the University of Kansas girls are out here in force. Rock Chalk Jay Hawk, baby!
Gadsden, Alabama, USA. Small town. Confederate flag hanging from many of the homes. Not much to do out here besides fish and eat catfish. Cute red-neck girls out here due to a couple of smaller community colleges in the area. Lots of MILF's. Live music is huge here. Just about every bar and club has a cover of about $10. By far the best Y will be found at a cool, hip lounge called Twisted at 504 Broad Street. You would never think a place this nice would be in the middle of Gadsden, Alabama, but it is and the girls LOVE IT. Go get 'em, Tiger.
The Chestnut Saloon has live music and cute country girls drinking at the bar, but it's loud and hard to talk to the ladies at times. Dr. Feel Goodz is a another place to meet the older single mother type ladies. (No thanks. I'll pass.) However the club does tend to redeem itself with the jello wrestling contests. There another place to meet older single mother types is a tiny country bar with a big attitude, the Wagon Wheel. After hours, there is After Life, a members only dance club open until 5am.
Palm Springs is the big spring break hangout in California. It is out in the middle of nowhere, but it is fun as hell. There obviously aren't any beaches, but they have something almost as good, beautiful girls by a pool side. The hotels here are huge and offer spring break packages at special discounts. It's very easy to meet and hook with chicks who are staying at your hotel. That's because it becomes really obvious who the students are and who the older, rich folk are. The main street downtown is packed on nights when spring breakers are in town. The crowd is much smaller and much less hedonistic than other spring break spots, but there are beautiful women. Most of the female students who come here to party tend to be of the wealthy, stuck up, LA variety.
Boston is the place to be, if you are looking for YP in the Northeast. There are about 60 colleges and universities in the Boston/Cambridge area and close to a half a million students— about half of whom are women. Even for those of you who failed 1st grade math, it's obvious that that is a lot of Y! For the best YP in this area, head to Boston College, Tufts University, Boston University and Northeastern University. Thursdays is the big night to go out in this perennial college town. Go to a fraternity party at a big university here, if you can. The good thing about Boston is that there are a lot of girls' schools (aka. women's colleges) close by, like Leslie, Wellesley, Simmons, Whelock and Mt. Holyoke. To tell you the truth there tends to be a lot of lesbianism and nazi-feminism running rampant on these campuses. So when scamming, remember, you are the one with the penis. Act like you have one. The funny thing is a lot of these women's colleges are packed with girls who are intensely sexually frustrated. After a long week of being on a single-sex campus, women's liberation takes on a whole new meaning, like getting the hell off campus and heading to party at Harvard, BU or MIT to hook up with some of the very same men they have been bashing all week. You may get lucky and find yourself in a position to relieve some of their frustrations— repeatedly! The bad thing about Boston (and in fact the whole Northeast) is that it's cold. Girls here sit on their asses all winter, eat and get fat. The usual "freshman fifteen" is more like the "freshman forty" up here. When it does get warm, the girls break out the shorts and the sweatshirts. They use the sweatshirts to cover up their big asses that have been growing all winter long. So common was this attire at Harvard, we use to call it the "uniform"! Whether warm or cold, Faneuil Hall, Quincy Market and Little Italy are humming, and hopefully one the women here will end up doing so for you! These locales are full of places to shop, eat and drink and are conveniently concentrated in a small area. During the academic year, these places have a nice mix of pre-collegiate, collegiate and post-collegiate booty walking around. The chicks in the bars in these areas of town come nightfall tend to be post-collegiate. They've got real jobs and real responsibilities, so adjust your rap accordingly. That line you use on campus, "Do you want to come upstairs, so I can show you my CD collection?" may not work well for you at 2am on a Tuesday night with some of the post-grad girls. Newberry and Landsdowne Streets, Kendall Square and Harvard Square in nearby Cambridge are more collegiate nocturnal haunts. The perennial favorite hangouts are Dad's on Newberry Street, Avalon, Axis, Jake Ivory's, Mam Kins and Jullians— all on Landsdowne Street in Kendall Square. If you want to get dressed up and head to clubs packed full of Boston cheese, check out the Roxy on Tremont in the Theatre District or Avenue C on Newberry Street. The Zanzibar on Boylston Place and Emily's on Winter tend to attract the booty without the fromage. Head to the Alley Cat for a more fraternity like atmosphere or the Mercury Bar for the alternative chicks. They're on Newberry Street. Tia's on the wharf and Clarke's in Faneuil Hall are typical meat markets. If you are curious about what Harvard girls are like, head to the Crimson Grill on JFK in nearby Cambridge (it's right across the Charles River). But first hit the Hong Kong Restaurant in Harvard Square and down one of their infamous scorpion bowls. The girls will look much better afterward. Russell tavern, Grendel's Den, M Restaurant and Lounge, Tommy, the red house, Shays Pub and Wine Bar and Noir are all relatively decent places believe it or not. Who knows? You may wind up banging the future CEO of a Fortune 500 company.
The pan-handle of Florida. AKA the red neck Rivera. Don't go in the water though, which thanks to BP will be microscopically laden with oil for years to come. You can get dirty enough and put your health at risk by partying with the girls downtown. There are some honeys here, but outside of spring break, you may have to hunt for them a little bit. Stay at the New World Inn Hotel. It's a local place and within walking distance of all of downtown. Start off at 600 South, the cool upscale bar at the hotel and try your luck with the smokin' hot Y serving drinks here. Walk down the street to Club Ice and Club Fire, which is upstairs from Club Ice (cheesy, but who doesn't love the cheese in the pan handle) is a good place to sample the Y on the weekends. It's totally packed. So don't be shy. VIP here is reasonable so reach in the wallet, if you want her to reach in your pants later on. 5 1/2 Bar is a cool high end wine and cocktail bar where you can bring the Y you met during the day on the beach or at the Hooters to impress her.
Come here alone and the cougars will be your only option. Want a more chill place to bring the Y you met earlier in the day? Then check out Intermissions, a kind of a dive bar with good live music, which she will most likely love. Hop Jacks has a younger local crowd that go there for the big draft beers selection and good, cheap food. Seville Quarter is the best place to meet the Y. It's 7 bars and clubs in one-- everything from a piano bar to a dance club to a chill bar. If you can't meet someone to take home here with all the drunk happy girls running around schizophrenically between the 7 venues, then your man card seriously deserves to be revoked. Happy hunting!
Philadelphia is where the thirteen colonies ratified the Declaration of Independence and freed themselves from British rule. Maybe they knew what we do about English girls! This city is very Italian. Your competition is sporting a big-ass, cheesy gold chain, a tank top, tanning salon complexion, complete with well-moussed hair and dark jacket. I know, because a lot of my best friends are Italian, and I've seen them this way, despite all my teasing and prodding them in the direction of good taste. The nightlife here is great though, and there are always some stunning women in the bars and clubs. These places are typical meat markets and are no place for the timid, so adjust your rap accordingly, and do your best to set yourself apart from the "typical" dude that so often frequents these nocturnal dwellings in search for YP. That is best accomplished by walking upright, having a high school diploma, no criminal record and driving anything other than a Camaro. Oh, and a suite would help. During the day, if you are in the mood to check out the YP in Phili, head to University City (which looks more like a prison than a city), the home of some not-so-bad-looking girls at Drexel. On the weekends, the places to be in Philadelphia are in and around South Street and Christopher Columbus Boulevard (called Delaware Avenue by the locals). Try Cafe Limbo and Mako's on South Street or Gothum, Spring Garden and Rock Lobster on Christopher Columbus Blvd. Alternatively, head to the Irish Pub on Walnut St. and 20th, Trocadero on Arch Street, Xero on 4th Street, 111 on Chesnut and 3rd, Shampoo and the Bank on 8th. Take note; the Italian girls hear have perfect bodies, dress well and like to be spoiled by the men they meet, while out on the town. You've got to open the wallet a little. If you have access to a car or know someone with a ride, head just outside of Philadelphia to the Manayuk area and the River Deck Cafe for happy hour late in the workweek.
This is the preferred desitination for spring break for the VERY young man—I’m talking high school student—especially in Barefoot Landing. Broadway is full of cheesy beach town stores and restaurants. It reminds me of the Jersey Shore a little bit. For a more grown up scene, try the Kryptonite (K Club) or the Tunnel on Friday and Saturday nights or the Boat House early on Sundays in the summer time. The boaters, and their hot wives, girlfriends and daughters will be there late afternoon to late evening. Best place to bring a chick for an impressive dinner is Legrands—great wine list, food and service. There are a decent Hooters here and a few good titty bars in this town—the Penthouse and Doll House have the hottest girls. All the same rules of hitting on strippers and the help apply here in Myrtle Beach, SC.