The best time to be in Munich is during Octoberfest, not only to hit on beautiful, drunk German girls, but to hit on the beautiful, drunk, foreign tourists who come here every year. Who knows why, but Octoberfest usually begins in September and lasts 16 days. The exact dates change year to year so be sure to check your calendar before planning your itinerary. But be forewarned. Drinking beer is mainly a guy thing to do, even during Octoberfest, or rather especially during Octoberfest, so don't expect a "Blitzkreig of Booty!" The Haufbrau tent is the best place to scam on the chicas, since you can actually walk around as you like with a beer in hand— something you can't do at some of the other tents, where they won't even serve you unless you are sitting at table. Head to a club called the Hippodrome just a short stagger away, where the drunken go to party late night which for the Germans means until 1:00am. Surprisingly enough, this place looks like animal house meets Disneyland, since between all of the beer tents there are things like roller coasters and Ferris wheels to tempt the inebriated. It brought back memories of the very first time I got drunk. I was 13 years old. My buddies thought that it would be really funny to take me to the local playground, bounce me up and down on the see-saw and hang me upside-down on the monkey bars, until I puked. You don't have to come here during Octoberfest to drink beer. At any one time there are loads of people who flock to the popular watering holes here in Munich. The best places to drink are the Lawenbrau Keller on Nymphenburgerstrabe and the Hofbrauhaus in the Am Platz. At the Hofbrauhaus, you'll probably have your best shot at hooking up with the hundreds of foreign tourist booties that are here in this city at any one time. There you will find many other PB's and spermin' Germans trying to do the same thing as you— drink until the girls start to look good, and then do anything and everything possible to get runkled. Personally, my favorite German brew is Augustiner. You can get some at their beer hall on Arnulfstrabe. As long as you're in Munich anyway, check out the park at Englischer Garten where you can drink and watch half-naked, chubby German girls chase down errantly thrown Frisbees. This is basically a nudist beach without the beach, or a place for cellulite-ridden old Woodstock hippies to come to die. If nobody looks good to you, drink at the Chinesischer Turm Beer Garden (which is located in the park) until someone does. The big shopping district in Munich is on the Marienplatz so check it out if you want to meet some German girls who look better with their clothes on. Much of the best nightlife centers around Leopoldstrabe. The university is located in Schwabing, a suburb of Munich located west of the Englischer Garden. For the PB in search of quality German YP your best bet is to check out the honeys around Munchener Freiheit. Nachtwerk on Landesbergerstrabe is probably the best club around here on the weekends. The largest club in Munich is actually an old airport, which was converted to a concert hall/dance club. It's called Flughafen Riem on Togingerstrabe, and it has three main sections, all of which can accommodate several thousand people. Right next to it is a club called Ultraschall which opens when the Reim closes, so if you're the kind of person who like to party German style, while the rest of the country is attending church, this is the place for you. The Park Cafe on Sophienstrabe, like the one in Copenhagen, is pretty cool on the weekends also.
Tampa is a great town. It's young, vibrant and full of hot scamper. Channelside is a great place to be for nighttime revelry. I like macking on the waitresses at Splitsville and Aja. They are so fine. The Hooters in Channelside is generally decent as well. Other places that I like in Channelside as well are Stumps and Howl at the Moon. The Blue Martini at the International Mall is usually excellent. Hottest waitresses and bartenders in the city. Implants in push up corsets, blond hair and fine ass abound. Tuesday night is Latin night. Muy caliente mujeres-- LA ass everywhere. While you are at the International Mall, check out Oceans Prime—there you will find wealthy MILF’s everywhere or those pretending to be. For perhaps the greatest titty bar in the entire United States of America check out Mons Venus, the only place that could make me forget about all the money I spent in Montreal. The dances will set you back $25-30US, but they're worth $50! Warm up at the Wing House just East of Tampa, which rivals the Daytona location as the best in Florida. Most of those hot waitresses and bartenders will be heading to the Dallas Bull when they get off of work on Thursdays anyway. Hang out at the bar the give out free drinks for the ladies or booty dance in the hip hop room upstairs. Its 18 and up and full of fine ass central Florida girls. Hyde Park Café on Tuesdays is rockin’, as well as Tavern on Fridays and Saturdays. The women are so fine that you will be sure to email me a thank you any time. The Rack in Tampa on Sundays is service industry night, which means that all the hot help that you couldn't talk to while they were working on Friday and Saturday nights, will be here with their hair down. Happy hunting.
The restaurants and clubs off of South Howard are excellent as well. My favorite restaurant in the whole world is Berns on Howard. The food is excellent. The grow a lot of their vegetables on farms owned by the Berns Family. The atmosphere is perfect to impress the lady of your dreams. And best of all the wine list is absolutely the best in the world. Impress your date by sipping on 150 yo Ports, 60yo Bordeaux’s and 220 yo ice wine. The dining and desert areas are separate and have separate wine lists. If you aren’t wanting to spend a ton of money on a chick, just do the desert room, which is a real treat. Hopefully she will treat you afterward. Other less expensive places to dine on S Howard are Ciccio’s California Kitchen, The Lie and Daily Eats. The Lodge on S Howard is a cool club with a patio and has smokin' hot waitresses who even hang out there on their days off and good looking chicks. Thursdays is lady’s night and there is usually a theme. Dress to impress as the lady’s do. The other place I really like in this neighborhood is Mangroves. Much larger club with a dance floor on the second floor and beautiful women—especially during the school year Thursday through Saturday. If you are feeling more casual and want to dress down, there are two Irish bars, the Dubliner and MacDinton’s. Mac D’s has a large patio bar and a inside area that usually has live music playing. Cheap is a bar with some pool tables and is also a decent place to meet the ladies. The University of South Florida is here, although we aren’t in South FL, and there are a couple of good bars to meet the Y on Thursdays. Tia’s and Peabody’s are my favs. I don’t like Ybor City. Its gotten way too ghetto these days. They close down the street in this section of town to automobiles and motorcycles after dark. Where can you meet the help when they are not so uptight at work? Well Head to The Hard Rock Casino and its famed Center Bar Thursday, Friday and Saturday night AFTER the bars close. Those super hot waitresses and bartrenders Tampa is so famous for show up here between 2 and 4am, as it’s the only bar that still serves alcohol when the bars and clubs close. The female bartenders at the Center Bar are to die for they are so gorgeous. Floyds, which is a restaurant that turns into a bar and dance club late night Thursday through Saturday may be worth checking out, but not until late—like after 11pm. For naughty fun check out Ecstacy. Gentleman's clubs that are decent here include the Doll House and the Penthouse-- not as good as Mons Venus, but at least you can have a drink while the girls grind on your lap. Nearby Lakeland, F has so many fine girls that that little town can support 2 Hooters AND a Wing House! All of which are excellent for the Y. Definitely worth the short drive. What are they feeding those girls out there? Whatever it is, we need to bottle and sell it. Definitely define you “hitting on the help” game here.
As one of my buddies once said about this place, "Man, this whole country is hot." He wasn't lying. There are some beautiful women here. But some of the social problems here may discourage the PB from visiting. There is no middle class in Venezuela. There is rich, and there is poor, and absolutely nothing in between. This not only caused a problem for those PB's looking to hook up, but for those looking to stay safe. It is best to attach yourself to a local you can trust, who will steer you clear of the problem areas in downtown Caracas. Don't be worried if you see strange looking men in the hotel lobby sporting AKA 57's. Apparently they're there to protect you. Because it's wise to be wary of those you don't know, the social scene down here tends to be very cliquey. Again, if you have a friend or acquaintance who can introduce you to the chicas, you'll be a lot better off. The beaches in Caracas are excellent. Cuyagna on Estado Aragua, Playa el Agua on Margarita Island (especially on Easter Weekend and Christmas Week). Others worth mentioning include Puerto la Cruz, Choroni on Estado Aragua and Punta los Caracas, Todasana, Playa Grande and Cumuri (all in La Guaira). The best clubs include Versus and Club M80 on Avenida Tamanaco in El Rosal, Bar Two in La Castellana, Amnesia in Centra Comercial Chacaito in El Chachaito where the girls are locked up in the cages dancing. There are sure to be plenty of honeys around for the scamming at any given time of the year. Remember that the woman who wins the Miss Universe Beauty Pageant every year is almost always from Venezuela!
Mykonos is a little expensive and a lot gay. I would tell you to completely avoid this island altogether, if it wasn't for the fact that the girls who come here are hot as shit. This island is extremely popular with the girls from Sweden, Argentina, Australia, Italy and Brazil. This island reminds me of South Beach in Miami, Florida, in that you have hot chicks on a great beach, with a great nightlife, but with way too many homosexuals. The clubs are also more pretentious and have curfews, but it may be worth checking out, if only for the babes. The island is jagged, and there are tons of small beaches, as opposed to one long coastline. The two best beaches are Paradise and Psarou. There are bars blasting dance music all along the edge of Paradise Beach. Super Paradise is gay, but there are beautiful women here. (WHY?) Thankfully, unlike in the poorly-lighted clubs in New York and Paris, even the dumbest PB can distinguish the transvestites from the real thing without difficulty, since everybody's half-naked. For those in search of backpackers, not fudge packers, the best club is the Scandinavian Bar downtown. But there are a ton of other bars in downtown Mykonos, as well as restaurants and shops. The Bolero Bar, Irish Bar and Niko's Taverna are excellent. Also, any place along the water near the windmills is a great place to meet women at sunset, as everybody goes to watch the sky and water light up as a prelude to the all night partying.
This is the home of the Univeristy of Kentucky—a huge basketball school in a town where horse racing is a religion. Go figure. Girls are decent looking here, altough there are better college towns. On Thursdays (typically the best night for booty in college towns) try the Tin Roof and Two Keys up by campus. On the weekends, try Hugo’s, McCarthy’s, Rosebud’s, Cheapside, Redmond’s, Pulse, Silk’s and the Penguin. If you want to impress the hot college girl you just met walking around campus, take her to the Atomic Café—or better yet Bellinis. The best titty bar is Platinum Plus—it stops serving alcohol at 2am, but stays open until 4am.
Ft. Myers, Florida USA is a few hours south of Tampa, Florida USA by car. It isn't worth a special trip at all unless you have a hook up at Florida Gulf Coast University. The girls here are relatively decent looking, but what college girls in Florida don't look good? There is a small beach on campus by the water. Check it out to mack on the Y sunbathing on the sand after class. It's a small school and relatively new. Most of the decent bars and restaurants are close to campus. Malony’s Sports Bar is good on Thursday nights, the universal college night of the week. If you meet the girls on the volleyball team at FGCU, pile them in the car and take them down to Blue Martini in Naples and look like a stud to the valet guys-- as the car full of 6 foot tall college girls in LBD's in high heels pour out of the car.
Now you know that I love college towns, and there are two good ones just a few miles of each other—Washington State University and the University of Idado. If you ever find yourself out in the Walla Walla wine country in eastern WA or in Spokane, WA, head down to Pullman on a Thursday, Friday or Saturday. The college Y is great over here—that is if you are Caucasian and under 25. If you’re not, this will be a tough gig. Mikes (formerly known as Stubblefields) up on campus is always good during the school year, as well as Beaches over in Moscow. During the afternoon work out at the gym on either campus where there is more Y than you can shake a cock at. I love that German/Scandinavian look of the girls out here along with the big curves that come with them.
Florence is a beautiful place, I'd even say exquisite. The artwork here is absolutely priceless and unmatched in all the world, and for once, I am not talking about the women! The River Arno runs south of downtown. Shops around the Duomo (the Cathedral) are the best places to scam on the chicas shopping for what you're hopefully going to be taking off later. They've got everything from Versace to Dolce and Prada to Max Mara. Now I am not the kind of guy who spends $400US on a T-shirt designed by a homosexual, no matter how tragically he may have died, but as any well-traveled PB knows where there is high fashion and great leather goods, there is hot booty. Florence, like Rome, is a big college town. But unlike Rome, the Italian women generally check out of this city during the summer months, especially August. A lot of them head to the beaches on the Italian Riviera or elsewhere to work on their strapless tans. So although you will meet plenty of international booty here sampling the sights in Florence, there may be few Italian babes to rap on if you visit in the summertime. Check out the local YP in the University Quarter in and around Via San Gallo and Via Cavour. To meet some of the beautiful, Italian women who live here year-round, head to Piazza Dell Republica or Piazza Singnoria (that is not pronounced "Pia Zadorra," jerky!), which are very popular during the day, along with Piazza Santo Spirito on Monday nights. Check out Lo Sfizzio on Lungarno Cellini and Space Electronic on Via Palazzuolo come nightfall. When it's late on a weekend, you have to check out Meccano Meccano, a club so good they named it twice. It just takes a minute to full out the ridiculous "membership applications" to gain entry. It's a huge club, it rocks on any given weekend night, and it's very Italian. The Piazza San Giovanni, Plaza San Spirito Via dei Calzaiuoli and Via Roma are good places to look for foreign booty on holiday here in the summertime. Head to museums like the Uffizi and Accademia and do some sightseeing along with all of the other backpacking chicas. If you want to meet one of the loads of US and other foreign students studying here in the university at any given time head to the Stonhenge on Via Dell Amorino or the Red Garter on Via D. Benci early evening. The Park district also has various student haunts. Ask around. If you are going to finally have that one, decent Italian meal you promised yourself, this is the place to do it. Things are a little more reasonably priced here than they are in many other major Italian cities. Eat at a decent restaurant, try some pasta, olives, chianti, cappichino and gellati.
If you're in New Jersey during the summertime, check out the beaches at Belmar, Long Beach Island and Wildwood. There are always girls there on the weekends when the weather's hot. Belmar has the beautiful, guido-loving, collegiate types from North Jersey, while Wildwood and its infamous boardwalk tends to have very Y, YP. All you really young men take note. All of the bars on the Jersey shore are cheesy as hell. So if you shave your chest, drive an "I-Rock", wear gold chains and call yourself "Vito", you will feel right at home. Generally, the further south you go on the shore the less cheesy it becomes, but lately the cheese has been spilling out as far south as Long Beach Island. The Shell on Engleside or the Katch*** are the only two places to really scam in Long Beach on summer weekends.
The University of Colorado in nearby Boulder is where you find the Y in Colorado. Besides the university, the Pearl Street Mall is the place to work on the hot Boulder beaver. This small pedestrian street is lined with shops, eateries and bars. Don't even think about lighting up. There is no smoking allowed anywhere indoors within the city limits. The best bars on Pearl Street include the Rio Grande, Marquee and Potters. And as usual in college towns, the best nights are Thursdays, as many students head to Denver or to the mountains on the weekend to take part in outdoor activities. The locals you will meet in the summertime are very Scandinavian looking and annoyingly grunge. Everything is clean and safe and there is almost no crime. Everyone is in shape. They eat right, jog, hike, roller blade and power walk. There isn't a fat chick to be found in the whole city. But oh, the bodies! I came here once with a friend of mine named John. Now John is a big, strong guy and a violent drunk, never a good combination. He got pissed one night at a girl who blew him off for some hippie dipshit who lived in the back of his Volkswagen smelled as if he hadn't showered in a week. Well, John felt as though enough was enough, and on his way back to the fraternity house at CU, he decided to let everyone know how mad he was. Although he was about 100 yards away and out of sight, I could here the trail of destruction he was leaving behind. He kicked in the tire of a motorcycle, knocked down a sign, pulled off the door to one of those coin-operated newspaper dispensers and lifted up the back of a Honda Civic and put in on the side walk.