The Doctor

The Doctor

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GOD DAMN FACTOR
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Sydney, Australia

October 25, 2021

9.5

This place is so out of the way that you will have to spend at least 2-4 weeks here to justify making the long plane trip from the US or Europe. There's plenty to do in Sydney, especially with the Olympics coming here in 2000. And with Melbourne's close by, you can easily spend a good long time here without being bored. So no worries about lingering longer, mate. Australian women are fun, rivaling the Swedes for the title of "coolest chicks on earth". They have accents. They're rowdy. They drink. They swear. They root— that's Australian for runkle! They are proud of the fact that they are descended from criminals. Remember, Australia was used by the English as the world's largest debtor prison, when British aristocracy ruled this continent. Not much here reminds you of England though, except for the nightlife. Like the English, the Australians are very much into their music and love those theme parties and raves made so famous in London. Unfortunately, the Australians have also inherited English weather being that it rains down here a whole lot in the summertime. Surprisingly, there are a lot of foreigners here, many from Greece and Asia, especially Japan whose ex-patriots bought everything they could, when they first arrived. So much so, that the Australian government banned the further sale of land to those residents not of Australian birth. So if you think that there would be no international flavor "down under", you will be pleasantly surprised. In addition to having some variety in the mix, Sydney has a great beach, a great nightlife, great women and all the excitement of a city expecting the greatest celebration in all of sport, the Olympic Games— coming here in the new millenium. The Olympics gives this country a chance to really showcase what Australia is really all about, and everyone is taking it seriously. Do your damnedest to bee here if it's at all possible. If you can't make it for the big party, check out an Australian Rules football game. With its "no padding allowed" and "no hospitalization necessary, no harm done" philosophy, it puts the American football to shame. This sport is often blamed for the reason many of Australia's residents act like "slowies". Head to one of the many beaches here in Sydney during the day in the summertime and scam on the chicas. The best places to try out your opening line on the topless sunbathers are on Manly Beach and Bondi Beach. If you don't wake up in time to catch the babes sunbathing, head over to the boardwalk or Centennial Park late afternoon, when all the babes get off work and head there to jog or roller blade. All of Sydney's best nightlife centers on Oxford Street and its side streets. Pool is the craze these days in Australia. Everyone plays, especially on Fridays. So go find a chick who can handle her stick (and hopefully yours) at the numerous pool pubs around this section of the city, the best of which is Planet Pool on the corner of Resort and Broadway. Early night, head to Soho on Victoria Street and the Underground Cafe on Bayswater Road and get tanked. On the weekends the Banta Room on Oxford, the Bentley Bar on Crown Street and the' Retro on Angel Place are among the better clubs in the city. If you enjoyed runkling that drunk chick on ecstasy in London, and you want to see if you can pull off a similar stunt down under, then contact SPARCI'S. That stands for the Sydney Party, Rave and Club Information Service, which publishes free information on the Internet to those who desire to frequent this scene.

Tampa, FL, USA

October 25, 2021

9.5

Tampa is a great town. It's young, vibrant and full of hot scamper. Channelside is a great place to be for nighttime revelry. I like macking on the waitresses at Splitsville and Aja.  They are so fine.  The Hooters in Channelside is generally decent as well.  Other places that I like in Channelside as well are Stumps and Howl at the Moon.  The Blue Martini at the International Mall is usually excellent.  Hottest waitresses and bartenders in the city.  Implants in push up corsets, blond hair and fine ass abound.  Tuesday night is Latin night. Muy caliente mujeres-- LA ass everywhere. While you are at the International Mall, check out Oceans Prime—there you will find wealthy MILF’s everywhere or those pretending to be.  For perhaps the greatest titty bar in the entire United States of America check out Mons Venus, the only place that could make me forget about all the money I spent in Montreal. The dances will set you back $25-30US, but they're worth $50!  Warm up at the Wing House just East of Tampa, which rivals the Daytona location as the best in Florida.  Most of those hot waitresses and bartenders will be heading to the Dallas Bull when they get off of work on Thursdays anyway.  Hang out at the bar the give out free drinks for the ladies or booty dance in the hip hop room upstairs.  Its 18 and up and full of fine ass central Florida girls.  Hyde Park Café on Tuesdays is rockin’, as well as Tavern on Fridays and Saturdays.  The women are so fine that you will be sure to email me a thank you any time. The Rack in Tampa on Sundays is service industry night, which means that all the hot help that you couldn't talk to while they were working on Friday and Saturday nights, will be here with their hair down. Happy hunting. 

The restaurants and clubs off of South Howard are excellent as well.  My favorite restaurant in the whole world is Berns on Howard.  The food is excellent.  The grow a lot of their vegetables on farms owned by the Berns Family.  The atmosphere is perfect to impress the lady of your dreams.  And best of all the wine list is absolutely the best in the world.  Impress your date by sipping on 150 yo Ports, 60yo Bordeaux’s and 220 yo ice wine.  The dining and desert areas are separate and have separate wine lists.  If you aren’t wanting to spend a ton of money on a chick, just do the desert room, which is a real treat.  Hopefully she will treat you afterward.  Other less expensive places to dine on S Howard are Ciccio’s California Kitchen, The Lie and Daily Eats. The Lodge on S Howard is a cool club with a patio and has smokin' hot waitresses who even hang out there on their days off and good looking chicks.  Thursdays is lady’s night and there is usually a theme.  Dress to impress as the lady’s do.  The other place I really like in this neighborhood is Mangroves.  Much larger club with a dance floor on the second floor and beautiful women—especially during the school year Thursday through Saturday.  If you are feeling more casual and want to dress down, there are two Irish bars, the Dubliner and MacDinton’s.  Mac D’s has a large patio bar and a inside area that usually has live music playing.  Cheap is a bar with some pool tables and is also a decent place to meet the ladies. The University of South Florida is here, although we aren’t in South FL, and there are a couple of good bars to meet the Y on Thursdays.  Tia’s and Peabody’s are my favs.  I don’t like Ybor City.  Its gotten way too ghetto these days.  They close down the street in this section of town to automobiles and motorcycles after dark.   Where can you meet the help when they are not so uptight at work?  Well Head to The Hard Rock Casino and its famed Center Bar Thursday, Friday and Saturday night AFTER the bars close.  Those super hot waitresses and bartrenders Tampa is so famous for show up here between 2 and 4am, as it’s the only bar that still serves alcohol when the bars and clubs close.  The female bartenders at the Center Bar are to die for they are so gorgeous. Floyds, which is a restaurant that turns into a bar and dance club late night Thursday through Saturday may be worth checking out, but not until late—like after 11pm. For naughty fun check out Ecstacy. Gentleman's clubs that are decent here include the Doll House and the Penthouse-- not as good as Mons Venus, but at least you can have a drink while the girls grind on your lap. Nearby Lakeland, F has so many fine girls that that little town can support 2 Hooters AND a Wing House!  All of which are excellent for the Y.  Definitely worth the short drive.  What are they feeding those girls out there?  Whatever it is, we need to bottle and sell it.  Definitely define you “hitting on the help” game here.

Jersey Shore, NJ, USA

November 9, 2021

8

If you're in New Jersey during the summertime, check out the beaches at Belmar, Long Beach Island, and Wildwood. There are always girls there on the weekends when the weather's hot. Belmar has the beautiful, guido-loving, collegiate types from North Jersey, while Wildwood and its infamous boardwalk tends to cater more towards families and a younger crowd.

All you men take note - all of the bars on the Jersey shore are cheesy as hell. So if you shave your chest, drive an "I-Roc", wear gold chains and call yourself "Vito", you will feel right at home.

Generally, the further south you go on the shore the less cheesy it becomes, but lately, the cheese has been spilling out as far south as Long Beach Island. The Shell on Engleside or the Katch are the only two places to really meet girls in Long Beach on summer weekends.

Stockholm, Sweden

October 25, 2021

9.5

Great city full of stunningly gorgeous girls.  The hot bars and clubs now are Spy Bar, Cafe Opera and Burns.  Bierger Garten is where to stay or Hotel Rygarten-- right in the middle of the action and a short walk with your newly befriended blond bombshell to runkle for the night.

In the land of the midnight sun and floating youth hostels on ships and one of the only cities in the world where you can eat the fish you catch off of the piers in the middle of the city-- you will never feel alone, tired or sexually frustrated.

Branson, MO, USA

November 2, 2021

7

Fly into the Branson Airport if you can. It’s the only privately owned commercial airport in the USA and as such, it's pretty cool looking. 

This town is one of the cheesiest places I’ve even been to in my life.  If you don’t believe me, cruise down Route 76 through downtown Branson to see what your life will be like when you have a family and after you retire and have nothing else to do.  Cheesy restaurants, theme bars, and shows line the street.

Dinner and drinks at Chateau on the Lake has been my most successful bet. I have a few amazing memories from this place - I can’t even keep the smile off of my face.

Sevilla, Spain

October 25, 2021

9

Seville is a big city with small town charm and is home to plenty of university students from Spain and other countries. It has all the class and ambiance you would expect from Spain minus the attitude of a bigger city like Madrid. All of these characteristics make Seville a perfect place to scam on Spanish women. So if you are sick of being heismanned by hot women from that city farther north, this is the place for you. After all, what's the point of being surrounded by beautiful women, if they aren't friendly? The girls here may be less "Cosmo" than Madrid, but they're just as beautiful. Seville is in a region in the South of Spain called Andalusia. They are renowned for their friendliness, very much like Americans from the Southern states. I've met girls here working in restaurants, pastry shops and bars who have fed me and gotten me drunk for nothing, just because they thought I was a good guy. Double Wu! If that isn't enough to convince you to come to Seville, take into account that the most sensuous form of dance in the entire world, the Flamenco, was created here, and most every single girl in Andalucia knows how to dance it properly. Thankfully nobody knows how to dance the Macarena! A group of Spanish girls danced for me once in the middle of a crowded square on the evening of my 22nd birthday. Without hesitation, I'd say it was the best birthday present I have ever gotten. Luckily many of the women here speak English, since it's a popular subject to study at the university. Obviously, if the communication goes smoothly, you'll increase your chances of hooking up. If you're a college or graduate student thinking about doing a semester or year of study abroad in Spain, Seville is the place. If simply just for the fact that Seville is so popular a place of ostensible study for YP from all over the world. The best places to go out in Seville are mostly down by the River Guadalquivir, Plaza Cuba, Avenue Reina Mercedes, Barrio de Santa Cruz, Barrio de Triana, Barrio de los Remedios and Plaza del Cabildo and its side streets off of the famed cathedral in the center of the city. The cafes, bars and discos down by the riverside are fantastic when the weather is nice. Students just flock here by the thousands. Try Bar Capote, Bar Latino, Q/Plaza, Chile, El Ambique, Alfonso XII and Libano, which are all on the river. The area around the cathedral is a mix of students, tourists and the younger working professionals. There are a good number of bars, eateries and clubs with different personalities and clientele. Check them out. But I'm sure wherever you go, you will have a total blast. [Invite edits] Take note: It's bad form to be roaming around the riverside area at anytime without a girl on your arm. Hemmingway called Seville one of the three most romantic cities on earth, and for good reason. You will feel like a total squid, if you are womanless in this part of the city, and like poor Ernest, you just may feel like blowing your head off! There are a couple of towns close to Seville worth mentioning briefly. Cadiz is in the very south of Spain, just a short train ride from Seville. Basically it is a big beach town where people from Seville go to escape the heat in the July and August, which make Seville completely unbearable. It's more of a place where families vacation. However there are plenty of younger Spanish babes to mack on. If you cruise the beach, you'll find a lot of them. And if you want to impress any chick, local or not, take her to Cordoba or Granada, two towns close by that are everything that is Spain. Be sure to check out their world famous orange groves, great places to hook up.

Seoul, South Korea

November 15, 2021

8

Like Japan, in South Korea you almost have to speak some of the language to get anywhere, or hangout with someone who can translate. Many of the young college students have studied English and can often read and write it, but cannot speak well. The place to be is the national capital of Seoul. It can rock on the weekends, but I dare you to try to have a conversation with a Korean girl who doesn't speak English very well in the first place over the deafening club music. If you long to speak English to someone, head to Itaewon, where the US has maintained a military installation since the Korean War. You can find American G.I.'s hanging out on a street that has been affectionately dubbed "hooker hill", for reasons that need no explanation.

The Koreans tend to be the tallest of the Asian peoples. Considering my fetish for tall women, Korea is my favorite Asian destination. The women here are nowhere near as shy or timid as they are in Japan. Like that opinionated girl you met in New York, Korean girls have no problems letting you know exactly how they feel.

The shopping district centers in an area of town called Myongdong. The general areas to hang out in Seoul come nightfall are Kang Nam and Shinchon and their dense assortment of bars and clubs. The best places to meet quality Korean girls, however, are the clubs of the major hotels. The Ritz Carlton, Club Juliana in the Emerald Hotel, and Club J.J. Mahoney in the Hyatt Hotel are good places to start.

One word of etiquette: the Koreans drink of choice is whiskey, which is hella expensive and served with water and milk to help settle the stomach. Traditionally you never pour your own drink here. You must wait until a friend does it for you. If someone pours you a drink, you are obligated to have it. You risk insulting someone if you refuse.

Seattle, WA, USA

November 15, 2021

7.5

Seattle is a great place if you are into chicks who drink coffee, dig rainy weather, and are into alt-rock. This is a very young and alternative city that spawned groups like Nirvana and Pearl Jam back in the day. It rains 270 days of the year here which is quite depressing. Seattle is where grunge was born, which means nobody dresses well and are pierced and tatted. Seattle is the home of Microsoft and Boeing, so the city is practically overrun with computer geeks and engineering nerds.  You can probably convince a lot of girls to go out with you if you just pretend to be a rich Microsoft exec. Your next best bet is to pierce your nose, get a visible tattoo and carry around a guitar.

At least the University of Washington keeps the coeds in supply year-round. They can be found on University Way and its side streets, the Queen Anne neighborhood, and Pioneer Square.

Dream Girls is the best strip club in town. 

A kicker bar called Cow Girls is kind of a knock-off of Coyote Ugly, with cute girls in Daisy Duke shorts dancing on tables.  It's hard to talk to them though as they go through their routines. At least they're decent to look at while they short-pour your overpriced drinks.

If you get tired of mediocre waitresses ignoring your drink order to finish their dance routines, head to Trinity and the Last Supper Club in Pioneer Square. The closest thing to real action in Seattle is the L. A.-wannabe nightclubs in Belltown: Amber, Frontier Room, Cellars, and Belltown Billiards. Surprisingly, there are plenty of hot women to be found in these places but don’t bother coming on any night other than Friday or Saturday. Don't be fooled by the fresh tans, they're really not from LA. The tanning salons do a thriving business here since it rains so much. Sometimes you'll find some Canadians coming down on the weekends to party, and they're usually pretty cool.

The Hooters over by Chandlers Cove is interesting if you are into that sort of thing. Right next door is Joey's, which generally has hot waitresses and decent food with a view of the Cove. If you snag one of the waitresses, take her to the Citrus Club around the corner from Joey's. If it's really late, head to 13 Coins Restaurant, which has good food and is open 24/7, making it a mad house after the bars and clubs close.

For a change of pace, go to the Westlake Center during the day. In this downtown shopping district, you will find pretty women, with no tats or piercing and dressed well. All the typical stores and chain restaurants are there. Go after school or work during the week and on the weekends and you won't be disappointed.

Santa Barbara, CA, USA

November 15, 2021

10

Don't miss out on visiting Santa Barbara just north of LA. It's fun and packed with beautiful women from all over California. Santa Barbara, along with nearby Malibu, is where Baywatch was filmed, to give you an idea of what you're working with.

During the academic year, it's packed with gorgeous college girls. In the summertime, the less pretentious Californians come here on the weekends to get away from LA.

Santa Barbara is probably my favorite city in the US because it reminds me of the Basque country in Europe. There's a big university - the University of California at Santa Barbara out on La Isla Vista, which should be named La Isla de Chica Finita; a great nightlife, which centers in and around State Street; and beautiful girls. Half of the girls I saw on the campus of UCSB or out on State Street from Thursday through Saturday night turned my head. On top of all that, the beach on La Isla Vista is packed with UCSB girls when it's hot outside.

I went to a fraternity party on campus here one year and I almost didn't leave. Going to Harvard was definitely not worth missing out on fours years of this. And oh, did I mention? If you think the girls at UCSB were hot, take a walk over to Santa Barbara City College just off of Shoreline Beach by State Street. The girls who were too hot and not bright enough to get into UCSB are all here. Santa Barbara gets the best GDF score in the US!

San Sebastián, Spain

November 15, 2021

9.5

I'll never forget what a friend told me when I asked him about European women just prior to my first trip to that continent: "the most beautiful women in Europe are in Spain, and the most beautiful women in Spain are in Northern Spain." Boy was he right.

I'll never forget my first day in San Sebastián, the summer resort capital of the Basque Province. I took the fast train down from Paris with two girls from New York City. We checked into the youth hostel and hurried to La Concha, the famed beach here in San Sebastian, to catch the last rays of sun before the day's end and to see what everyone was ranting and raving about. As we stood on the edge of the beach, I looked out upon what I thought had to be paradise. One of the girls said to me, "I have never seen so many beautiful women in one place in my entire life!" I didn't respond to her comment with any more than a stunned grunt, because she was totally right. The Basque women possess a natural beauty that's obvious to anyone who's visited this region on the border of Spain and France. I know if I grew up here would have never left that beach

Aside from the women, the place just looks like paradise. From a single vantage point on La Concha, you can actually see the beach to the north, mountains to the northwest, rolling hills and farmland to the southwest, a completely modern city directly to the south, the River Urumea to the east, and the Parte Vieja with its classic cobble stone streets, old buildings, museums and statues to the northeast. On top of all that, the food is great, the wine is the best in all of Spain due to its proximity to the French wine country, and this place absolutely rocks come nightfall. In fact, the only bad thing you could ever say about this place is that it rains too much because of those damn weather systems coming off the south of England. Bloody Brits.

The nocturnal action centers around the Calle de San Fermin in the Parte Vieja. Yes, this is named after the same guy as Pamplona's festival - he has got to be Spain's favorite saint. The atmosphere here is incredible. The place is crowded with both old and young until about 12 am, especially in the summertime. Afterward, the hot girls show up. At last count, there were something like 40 different bars and restaurants on this street and most every one of them is good. You can actually leave a bar with a drink in hand, walk down the street while finishing it, put it down at the next bar and get a refill. Since most of the bars use the same glassware, the bartenders don't care. In the US you get yelled at if you even take one sip out of the Big Gulp and try to pour yourself some more!

La Piscina on Calle San Martin, Iguana on Calle San Jeronimo, Ezpalda on Calle Pescaderia and Keope on Calle Anoeta are the best discotecs in town. The university is also worth checking out if you're here during the academic year, but DO NOT come here in August, when tourists are literally everywhere.